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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

young child left alone in a car

52 replies

pheonix777 · 04/06/2011 23:26

My mother in law left my 4 year old son alone in the car while she popped into a shop to get bread the other day. She did this because he was having a "strop" and would not get out. Apparently she parked right outside and only had her eyes off him for a "minute or so"

I personally find this unacceptable and think there is no excuse at any time for a child to be left unattended in a public place. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
AgainWhen · 04/06/2011 23:27

Yep

GypsyMoth · 04/06/2011 23:28

oh dear....

HavePatience · 04/06/2011 23:30

Yanbu but plenty of people will say you are, with loads of justification. But it's down to the individual.
I completely agree with you, though.

pooka · 04/06/2011 23:31

YABU. In my opinion.

But no doubt there'll be posters talking about cars spontaneously bursting into flames and/or being nicked with child inside.

But I personally would not have a problem with this. And have been known to give dcs the choice about whether they want to stay in car or all get out when I've been nipping into, for example, the petrol station shop to buy bread or pay for fuel.

dollius · 04/06/2011 23:31

Totally

DuelingFanjo · 04/06/2011 23:33

house!

HalfPastWine · 04/06/2011 23:35

It was YOUR son left in the car, so no, YANBU.

Have words with MIL so that it doesn't happen again.

MadamDeathstare · 04/06/2011 23:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 04/06/2011 23:46

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all.

ChippingIn · 04/06/2011 23:48

Yes YABU.

DontCallMePeanut · 04/06/2011 23:50

I'd say YANBU, although my mother would say YABU. It's a matter of choice/parenting style/age... yada yada yada. Mum used to leave me and DB in the car whilst she dashed into the butchers and florist. It's not something I'd do, mind.

AnnieLobeseder · 04/06/2011 23:54

I guess it would depend on the area, but I have no problems leaving my 3 and 5yo DDs in the car if I'm only going into the corner shop for one thing. Same with petrol stations.

Had you expressly told her not to leave your child in the car? If so, then YANBU because he is your child, so your rules. But if not, you should understand that this is far from a black and white issue, and she may think you're totally over-reacting.

RitaMorgan · 04/06/2011 23:57

No excuse at any time for a child to be left unattended? That sounds pretty extreme to me!

Did she lock the car? If so I can't see the problem.

sims2fan · 05/06/2011 00:25

Personally I think I would be more cross with my son for not doing as his grandmother said.

thisisyesterday · 05/06/2011 00:36

agree with annie... would you have been cross if she'd been to a petrol station and left him in the car while she paid?

this is no different is it?

TakeMeDrunkImHome · 05/06/2011 01:09

I find this weird, really weird, not long ago I posted about a woman dropping her older kid off at school and leaving a 3 year old with SN and a 7 week old baby alone in the car while she did so. I was properly flamed! To the point of being told that if I was so "nosey" then I should help her with her childcare. Yet here we are now and it's all OK to leave a kid in the car! confused.com

DooinMeCleanin · 05/06/2011 01:12

Knowing what my four year old could get upto locked in a car for a minute unsupervised, YANBU. I won't leave mine in the bathroom for fear of what she will do, let alone a car with a handbrake.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 05/06/2011 01:14

DuellingFanjo, you beat me!

OP - the car could have spontaneously combusted while your Mother was in the shop, so YANBU.

(in reality, joking aside, I can't bring myself to leave DS in the car, but that's because I have a massive anxiety disorder... so each to their own :) )

TakeMeDrunkImHome · 05/06/2011 01:16

I have just re-read my post and it makes about as much sense as a basket full of squirrels so I will slink away and go to bed and remind myself not to pour such a large Wine next time. slinking away...

JarethTheGoblinKing · 05/06/2011 01:16

TakeMeDrunkImHome I recall that thread. IIRC you were saying that the kids were left in the car for ages so the Mum could drop her eldest at school? (correct me if I;m wrong)

squeakytoy · 05/06/2011 01:20

I remember that thread too I think. Wasnt that a case of the mother leaving the kids in the car and wandering off round the corner into the school, so not within a few feet away from her.

It wouldnt bother me depending on the area. If it was a car with rear child locks, and not on a busy main road, and the kid was refusing to get out of the car anyway, yes, I would go into the shop.

TakeMeDrunkImHome · 05/06/2011 01:21

Yes yes it was that very thread but I completely typed the wrong thing and brain has turned to mush (i was trying to slink away here!) Blush

DooinMeCleanin · 05/06/2011 01:22

I am in envy of all your trustworthy four year olds. Mine would have the handbrake off and the windows smashed quicker than you could shout "Runaway car!"

Julesnobrain · 05/06/2011 01:34

I think leaving a child in a locked car while you pop into a shop ( not a petrol station) is a rite of passage to teaching them to be responsible ie mummies gaining in a shop I'm trusting you not too do blah blah.

Therefore by definition 4 is way too young. My DS is nearly 9 and I have recently started to do this but still won't do it for a big ie more than a pop! shop

Speak to your Mum, in her day you wouldn!t have thought twice nowadays we are wiser or should I say sadder!,

Julesnobrain · 05/06/2011 01:35

Sorry mean going

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