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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To Think Whoever Reported Me To Social Services Is A Bit Daft At Best?

65 replies

midori1999 · 02/06/2011 17:20

I had a call from a social worker this afternoon asking to see me today, saying a referal had been made. I asked what it was about and she said she couldn't tell me until she got here.

It turns out my DS2 (10) had been overheard by an adult telling some other children that he 'lives in a cardboard box, but it's OK, it's getting upgraded to a wooden one soon'. That adult had then made an anonymous referal to SS, who obviously had to investigate. The social worker just wants to check records etc with the DC's schools and GP, but said she suspects the case will be closed.

I'm not sure how she kept a straight face whilst visiting tbh. I realise it's better to investigate something that doesn't need it than miss something that does, but surely children say silly things like that all the time and why on earth would anyone think it was serious if all seemed otherwise well?

OP posts:

scurryfunge · 02/06/2011 17:21

Your child is lucky......we dreamt of having boxes.

cuttingpicassostoenails · 02/06/2011 17:22

Hmmmm....sounds more like spite than simple idiocy.

mankymummymoo · 02/06/2011 17:22

maybe adult has aspergers or something. strange that they knew enough info about DS (ie full name and address) to report it though.

Scheherezadea · 02/06/2011 17:25

lol - great imagination from your DC thought!

SuePurblybilt · 02/06/2011 17:27

Box? Fifteen of us in an old boot in my family. And it had no laces.

yukoncher · 02/06/2011 17:27

What an idiot, whom reported it, wasting SS time like that!

Original poster

midori1999 · 02/06/2011 17:27

From what DS has said, he said this to some friends at Youth Club. The friends are DC of a friend of mine, but I'm pretty sure she'd know I don't keep my DC in cardboard boxes. I wondered about the supervising adults at Youth club? They would have access to names/addresses/phone numbers etc. We live on an army camp, so everyone knows of everyone really.

It doesn't matter, but DS was a little upset as he didn't know what a social worker was and when she wanted to speak to him alone he was worried he was in trouble.

OP posts:

pookietherabbit · 02/06/2011 17:31

Whomever reported you must know your surname and home address...Who do you think it was? Teacher etc?

cannydoit · 02/06/2011 17:40

i have been reported to social services out of spite am surprised they took it seriously to be honest, the social services can usual understand that certain things are said by children and taken out of context etc. mine was basically laughed out of the place vicious horrible nasty woman.

pookietherabbit · 02/06/2011 17:44

I was also reported to SS. Apparently i starved, beaten and shouted at my child. The SW came and said that they would be making a visit again someday without notice.

They did come back 3 weeks later. Might be as my son is SN. But they were not concerned at all just following procedure.

Also, it had not long been reported in the national news that a little girl in the city in which i live had been starved to death. So SS were hot on chasing up any reports...malicious or not.

saidthespiderwithahorridsmile · 02/06/2011 17:45

My 8yo has Aspergers and would have known that was bollocks. Having Aspergers isn't the same as being stupid.

cupnoodle · 02/06/2011 17:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

breatheslowly · 02/06/2011 17:56

Did she have a good poke around to look for a cardboard box?

emptyshell · 02/06/2011 18:01

On the subject of things kids say totally innocently dropping you in the shit with social services...

I've got twin cousins, always treated equally etc etc - so dad out in the garden round ours gives one a hug, says "hah yer sister's not here - make sure you don't tell her I gave you one more hug than her" jokingly. Cousin goes into school and chirpily announces in complete obliviousness "My daddy gives me secret cuddles in the shed at my uncles." Of course with something like that child protection proceedures kicked into full swing - understandably so!

Took a bit of explaining to get that misunderstanding ironed out!

Snowsquonk · 02/06/2011 19:24

I have a friend whose little boy always ran hot - he spiked a high temperature with every bug he got, and couldn't keep Calpol down so eventually her GP prescribed paracetemol suppositories as a way of controlling the temperatures.

Can you imagine the conversation she had to have with the pre-school staff when her little boy announced that he'd been ill the day before and "Mummy put sweeties up my bottom"!

NormanTebbit · 02/06/2011 19:30

Mind you there was a terrible case recently of some children being put into 'cages'- basically reinforced cots- straight after school and not let out til next day.

TheMonster · 02/06/2011 19:38

There are some idiots around. Out wanker of a neighbour called them when he was drunk because our dogs were barking and that meant they must have been attacking DS.

Original poster

midori1999 · 02/06/2011 20:18

I did actually realise after she left that there is a rather large Amazon box under the stairs waiting to go for recycling.

OP posts:

Punkatheart · 02/06/2011 20:56

I used to be a youth worker. If I had overheard a child saying that I would have probably assumed it was a joke. But I would have spoken to the parents, not phoned SS.

fairydoll · 02/06/2011 21:03

Cardboard box? You were lucky. We lived in a rolled up newsaper in t'septic tank.

Seriously what is teh world coming to ?? Don't people working with kids have the smallest grain of common sense!

TidyDancer · 02/06/2011 21:04

The silver lining is, it sounds like your DS has a good sense of humour!

shineoncrazydiam0nd · 02/06/2011 21:06

I had similar with my 4 year old's pre school the other week. Had a call from his key worker to tell me that DS had shown them a scab on his ankle and said ' Mummy did it..' so she made a report and asked for my side.... My side was yes, I did do it, but by pulling him out of a ball pool in a play area - he skimmed his ankle on the mat and slightly friction burnt it. Plus this was actually at my place of work in front of another adult.

It didn't go any further after a 'discussion with the pre school manager ' but I have been told that it will 'stay on his records ...'

As soon as half term is over, I will be telling them that it most certainly will NOT be staying on his records.

I am still fuming - so well done to you for seeing an amusing side. I feel enraged every time I think about it!

thefirstMrsDeVere · 02/06/2011 21:06

I am all for checking up on things. I work with vunerable children and its really important to listen to them.
But this is bonkers!

I have never heard such nonsense. You DS said something that was obviously a joke. There have been misunderstandings when a child has said 'I have to sleep on the floor' and it turns out they have a friend staying or their room is being decorated.

But he said something that didnt even make sense. I simply wouldnt have put 2 and 2 together IYSWIM.

I hope he isnt too upset. I think you are dealing with it all very well.

lubberlich · 02/06/2011 21:10

What the fuck is happening to this country? The witless ninnies really have taken over.
We all refer to our house as "the bughutch" - including my 4 year old DS. Are we now in peril of being frogmarched off for interrogation?

breatheslowly · 02/06/2011 21:10

We have to fill in an "accident at home form" if DD has a mark on her when we leave her at nursery. Is this standard?

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