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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To Think Whoever Reported Me To Social Services Is A Bit Daft At Best?

65 replies

midori1999 · 02/06/2011 17:20

I had a call from a social worker this afternoon asking to see me today, saying a referal had been made. I asked what it was about and she said she couldn't tell me until she got here.

It turns out my DS2 (10) had been overheard by an adult telling some other children that he 'lives in a cardboard box, but it's OK, it's getting upgraded to a wooden one soon'. That adult had then made an anonymous referal to SS, who obviously had to investigate. The social worker just wants to check records etc with the DC's schools and GP, but said she suspects the case will be closed.

I'm not sure how she kept a straight face whilst visiting tbh. I realise it's better to investigate something that doesn't need it than miss something that does, but surely children say silly things like that all the time and why on earth would anyone think it was serious if all seemed otherwise well?

OP posts:

BrianAndHisBalls · 02/06/2011 21:11

Shiney - had similar here, dd when about 3 told her nursery that an insect bite on her leg which she had scratched was actually a scald from me pouring a kettle of boiling water over her Nursery just had a word with me when I dropped her off next time I was so Luckily have known them for ages and it looked nothing like a burn/scald so was fine. Never thought to ask whether it would go on record.

MollyMurphy · 02/06/2011 21:16

Where I live anyway, matters are always screened at intake to avoid unnecessary investigations. Intake will call the school and do collaterals to see if further investigation is warranted or if they can just call the parents and have a chat about it by phone. It would be easy as pie for intake to confirm if you have a house or not. I understand the UK system of CPS has many similarities to the system in my country - perhaps there is something she's not told you.....?

thefirstMrsDeVere · 02/06/2011 21:19

But why would she only tell that little bit Molly? Surely she would have said nothing or everything IYSWIM.

I thought they had to dicuss all concerns. I may be remembering that wrong though.

I will point out any cuts/bruises when I drop DS at nursery so they dont worry or think he has hurt himself there. They have never asked me to fill out a form.

Kendodd · 02/06/2011 21:21

I remember somebody I used to work with in London phoned up SS with genuine concerns about a child she knew. SS were not interested and didn't even take the child's or my friends name. They said they didn't accept referrals from the public, this was about 15 years ago though. I think better they chase things up.

AngryFeet · 02/06/2011 21:24

Cardboard box? Luxury! We lived in a shoebox in the middle of a swamp, worked 26 hours a day, 9 days a week and when we got home our dad would beat us to death with a broken bottle.

How ridiculous, what a waste of SS time. Hope you are ok OP?

LaWeasel · 02/06/2011 21:24

beathes yes that is fairly standard to at least note them now - it is partly to cover themselves, partly to spot patterns if there are any (ie everytime grandma drops them off they've got bruises would be a very bad sign)

TattyDevine · 02/06/2011 21:24

"Mind you there was a terrible case recently of some children being put into 'cages'- basically reinforced cots- straight after school and not let out til next day"

And where might one um, be able to procure such a device? Just curious of course

Thingumy · 02/06/2011 21:26

I've got a large dog cage I could sell to you Tatty

thefirstMrsDeVere · 02/06/2011 21:26

EggyAllenPoe · 02/06/2011 21:29

dd2 sleeps in one of these on holiday. much better than a travel cot...

NormanTebbit · 02/06/2011 21:31

ask them

thefirstMrsDeVere · 02/06/2011 21:34

Because its just like laughing at children who are being horribly abused isnt it?

Um no it isnt.

MollyMurphy · 02/06/2011 21:37

theFirstMsDeVere I have no idea but can only speculate of course. I can only say that where I live CPS is very busy and always sort staffed - they don't have time to run around to bogus calls and try very hard to sort out maliciousness and silliness from genuine concerns that warrant investigation. My office would never investigate such a complaint unless there were other issues at foot.

Of course we only have OP's side of the story to go on - which is why when the SS bashing begins I usually exit.

NormanTebbit · 02/06/2011 21:44

I just posted the dtory because i wonder whether stories like this make staff more sensitive to what children say. Especially if you don't have children yourself.

xstitch · 02/06/2011 21:45

'My office would never investigate such a complaint unless there were other issues at foot.'

IME all complaints are investigated no matter how stupid they sound. I can kind of see why but is wearing when you are on the receiving end. As someone on the receiving end of malicious complaints molly I am very offended by your comment above.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 02/06/2011 21:46

I dont think anyone has bashed the SS have they?

Its the person who reported it who is being bashed I think.

Rightly so.

shineoncrazydiam0nd · 02/06/2011 21:52

Brian - Oh I am still so cross! I suppose I just felt really affronted and offended and yes, I took it very personally. I take pride in my son's appearance, what's in his lunch box etc and I am also proud that he comes from a nice home. I'm ex police, I hold an enhanced CRB check and I work with children. I know this counts for jack shit and yes, I might well be abusing him. And I also understand what 'disclosure' means.

But I also understand what over the top interpretation of disclosure means - and I intend to get this removed from my son's records because it is just a nonsense. Brian - I would check what records they hold on you relating to your particular matter.

Original poster

midori1999 · 02/06/2011 22:08

Molly the social worker said the case would probably be closed, but first of all she just needed to check with my DS's schools (all three attend different schools due to age differences and DS3 having Downs Syndrome so he goes to a SN school) and my GP and was that OK with me? Of course, it is OK, but not sure if she needed my permission to speak to them?

I have worked as a Youth worker myself with children who were referred to our service by SS, so have been involved in child protection. I also have a number of friends in other areas who are social workers, one of whom knows about this and finds it ludicrous.

The social worker spoke to my DS alone and seemed happy I have nothing to hide. He said she asked him if he had any worries and he said he is worried about his sister that I am pregnant with as we lost twin girls last year and DS is worried the same will happen again. I had already mentioned this to the social worker in answer to her questions for me.

I don't deny it is all a bit annoying, not least as there are children out there who genuinely DO need SS help that get missed. However, I am sure I am far from the perfect parent, but I have nothing to hide, so no harm done.

OP posts:

xstitch · 02/06/2011 22:13

'so no harm done.'

What bothers me about this is the idiot who made the report has taken the social worker away from potentially helping a child who did need help. There are some reports which turn out to be wrong but you can see where the person making the report was coming from and was well meaning not in this case.

Original poster

midori1999 · 02/06/2011 22:15

xstitch I do agree, completely. I'd like to hope the person who reported it was well meaning but with no sense, but who knows?!

OP posts:

MollyMurphy · 02/06/2011 22:15

I can only speak from my experience xstitch - where you live things might be different - I have no idea. I don't know why that should offend you. Of course CPS ends up investigating malicious calls - some things are always going to get through intake that shouldn't - but they don't really know that until they go have a peek into the situation. All I am saying is they don't want to waste everyones time either - in MY experience CPS sends an investigator out when collaterals have also raised concerns, as a matter of caution when the child is very young, if the referral source is a professional who is deemed quite credible (ie the police), if there is a history of concern with the family and/or a history of repeated reports on a given family.

MollyMurphy · 02/06/2011 22:17

Hi midori - glad it was all sorted out. What you describe does sound like a terrible waste of time goodness. No, they don't need to ask you to speak to the children - but as you said nothing to hide and it all worked out.

xstitch · 02/06/2011 22:21

I am offended because I have been reported for the most stupid things and 50% of the time obviously malicious. I will admit that some of them may sound plausible on initial hearing. I have had to listen to snide 'no smoke without fire comments' which is wearing and in fact soul destroying. The reports all came from my XH not another agency. For example the first report against me was that I had 'abandoned my daughter by haemorraghing during child birth and passing out on the operating table.' That was coupled with I had apparently not wanted her because I had an emergency section.

xstitch · 02/06/2011 22:22

I might add he didn't make the childbirth complaint until dd was just short of her 3rd birthday.

Thingumy · 02/06/2011 22:25

It maybe sorted but that report stays on file against your name.

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