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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think there is a time and place for imodium?

32 replies

Thistledew · 30/05/2011 18:39

I probably am, and can't really blame my friend but I wonder if others would have done differently.

I was due to be godmother this weekend to my friend's daughter. I travelled 150 miles, and gave up the chance to spend the weekend with relatives I don't get to see very often. Sadly, my friend came down with a D&V bug and decided to cancel the christening at the last minute.

I am sure really that she made the right decision, but can't help wondering if maybe she was being a bit of a wuss.

OP posts:

belledechocchipcookie · 30/05/2011 18:41

Would you have liked to have caught her D&V instead? She's done you a massive favour!

Cutiecat · 30/05/2011 18:41

Hmmm. Did you want to catch the bug? I undersand your frustration but i have cancelled a dinner party due to a bug as i did not want to contaminate everyone and i also felt rotten. She made the right decision.

worraliberty · 30/05/2011 18:42

Are you serious OP??

smudgethepuppydog · 30/05/2011 18:43

I can't imagine she wanted to cancel, D&V bugs can really leave you washed out. I think it was probaly for the best, it's a day she wants to be able to look back on and remember with fondness not as a day when she felt at death's door. Besides, isn't there a risk that Immodium or no she would've been infectious to others and she would've risked spreading it far and wide?

Salmotrutta · 30/05/2011 18:43

Well, it depends on how violent the D&V was surely?

My DH had a really nasty 24hr bug a few weeks ago and he couldn't have coped with an event like a christening. He'd have had to do a mad dash to the vestry! . Not sure how effective Imodium is against D&V viruses?

Shame though considering you travelled a fair way

NickNacks · 30/05/2011 18:44

YABU- have you had D&V recently???

Imodium might clear up the shits but not the vomiting and the feeling of death warmed up. Do you think she might like to have had lovely memories of her daughters christening and not just 'make it through the day'?

timmysamba · 30/05/2011 18:44

Err - I'd have cancelled if I had d&v. She is meant to enjoy the day too.

mercibucket · 30/05/2011 18:45

yuck! can you imagine how happy everyone would be if it was contagious and you all got to spend the next week puking and running to the loos

onepieceofcremeegg · 30/05/2011 18:45

I understand your disappointment, however imo she made the only right decision.

Potentially at the christening there would have been many guests. Some pregnant (either that had told other guests or not), some young children, some elderly, some with lowered immune systems etc.

your friend probably doesn't know the cause of her d&v bug or how easily it could be spread.

Many years ago my bil and sil had a similar occasion and another relative took this type of risk. Took a vomiting child to the ceremony and party afterwards. Over half of the guests were very unwell with d&v for over a week. Some were elderly and it hit them hard. At one point the child was actually vomiting in a corner of the room.

So no, in summary your friend wasn't being a "wuss".

I feel more sorry for her than you tbh. Her daughter's christening and she had to cancel. Good for her for being so responsible.

The imodium may temporarily stop the diarrhoea, but she is/was potentially infectious for up to 48 hours.

WhoAteMySnickers · 30/05/2011 18:48

YABU. A serious bout of D&V can leave you extremely weak and washed out. I doubt your friend would have even had the energy to get dressed and make it to the church.

Mollydollydoll · 30/05/2011 18:52

What a selfish friend you sound glad you are not my friend.

onepieceofcremeegg · 30/05/2011 18:53

My dh was unwell for an entire week after the scenario described above. Thankfully he gets paid full pay if off sick. Many people don't.

worraliberty · 30/05/2011 18:54

I'm sure you'll make a wonderfully understanding Godparent to guide your GD through life

Original poster

Thistledew · 30/05/2011 19:05

Which ceremonies are ok to cancel? Would you cancel if you were sick on your wedding day?

I hope I am not that selfish. I realise that i am mostly upset at missing the chance to spend time with my relatives. I said to my friend that she had made the right decision and came here to have a moan instead!

OP posts:

worraliberty · 30/05/2011 19:08

You were due to be a Godmother so why were you even thinking about relatives?

Any ceremony is ok to cancel if you're in bad pain with the shits and throwing up FGS.

I'm sure she'll be gutted to learn you couldn't catch up with the clan due to her inconsideration

onepieceofcremeegg · 30/05/2011 19:10

I took out wedding insurance and would have cancelled in the circumstances (d&v).

I wouldn't have been happy, obviously.

Thistledew would you honestly want to take your wedding vows with a bucket next to you in case you needed to vomit (or worse?!)

Mollydollydoll · 30/05/2011 19:11

Lets just hope she doesn't use MN and see you bitching about her on here. Nice :)

Happylander · 30/05/2011 19:12

I had D and V for my sons first birthday. I didn't cancel as a) lots of people assumed it was a hangover b) didn't want to let the people down who travelled. 8 people caught D and V.....everyone kept asking why I didn't cancel. I think either way someone would have got annoyed at me but it meant I could say to those saying I had a hangover 'er no it was a bug!' Although that didn't make me feel any less guilty. She did the right thing.

onepieceofcremeegg · 30/05/2011 19:15

You were lucky in a way Happylander. Would you cancel if you were in the same situation again.
By "lucky" I mean that no one was seriously ill and "only" had d&v. A serious attack of d&v can finish an old person off, or severely affect unborn children.

Happygomummy · 30/05/2011 19:16

The thing is, imodium only deals with D.

What were you expecting her to do about the V?

Compassion and understanding required in this situation I'm afraid, not imodium.

WhoAteMySnickers · 30/05/2011 19:16

Thinking back to my one and only serious episode of D&V, if I had been unlucky enough to be getting married that week I would gave had no choice but to cancel. I didn't have the strength to do anything more than literally crawl from the bed to the toilet and back again.

I can't believe you are moaning about this. Your poor friend is probably mortified at having to cancel and would probably be devastated if she came across your post.

HushedTones · 30/05/2011 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

onepieceofcremeegg · 30/05/2011 19:21

In the church we were married in the loo was a very long way away from the altar...I wouldn't have wanted to risk the rush back up the aisle to indulge in either d or v tbh.

Ditto a christening.

The poor mother would have had to thrust the baby at a godparent/relative and make a very mad dash.She may not have made it. (and even if she did the infection risk still too high imo)

Mollydollydoll · 30/05/2011 19:26

What a nice person you sound OP hope your friend reads this as I'm sure she will be looking for a new godmother as you sound very spoilt and nasty

saffy85 · 30/05/2011 19:31

You sound really, really selfish OP.

I bet your friend feels lousy as it is- she has D&V and on top of that has had to cancel her child's christening because of it, which I'm sure she had been looking forward to.

Hopefully she'll read this thread, find out what a selfcentred tool you are and pick someone new to be godparent.

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