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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

This is actually one about being NICE to a MIL ;-D

28 replies

PavlovtheCat · 07/05/2011 20:18

DH's mother is visiting us from USA next month, we are booking a yurt to stay in for a weekend, all of us, to celebrate DHs birthday. He has not celebrated with her for many many years.

The yurt has one large comfy double bed (kingsize i think) with woodburner at the end, it is a lovely bed (we have been before several times so know this!). It also has 2 good sized double wooden futon beds, good quality, comfortable, on the other side of the woodburner.

DD will have one of the futon beds, and DH says that MIL should have the other one.

Now, she is in relatively good health. She is lively and energetic, fit and quite young for her age. However, she is 77 years old, 78 this year. She has just had two hip replacements over christmas, and before that a cochlear implant, so 3 lots of evasive surgery, so while still good for her age she is getting older now and more frail.

I said I thought she should have the big bed, just to spoil her a bit (she is also paying for the yurt as a birthday treat for DH), as she has never stayed in one before, and will love it, and we have stayed there before, much younger and able to comfortably sleep on a lower futon.

DH says, 'No Way!'

AIBU or just too nice and let her sleep on the futon?

OP posts:
Punkatheart · 07/05/2011 20:21

Give your hubby a dig in the ribs and remind him that this woman gave birth to him. Give her the flippin' bed! It's a kind and appropriate thing to do....

You sound a lovely DIL...your husband needs a telling off!

femalevictormeldrew · 07/05/2011 20:21

You are being a nice DIL, treat her

compo · 07/05/2011 20:23

She needs the nicest bed
your dh is out of order!

Tortington · 07/05/2011 20:23

yes yes old mum should have a proper bed - tell your dh hes a mean meany nobber

saffy85 · 07/05/2011 20:24

YANBU damn right she should have the nice bed if it's more comfortable! My gran is a decade older and ok in not so great health, but I'd never ever expect her to sleep on a futon while I had a nicer bed. Anyway, your MIL is bloody paying!

compo · 07/05/2011 20:24

Tell him you're sleeping on the futon and he can choose who he wants to share a bed with Grin

SmethwickBelle · 07/05/2011 20:25

Ohh definitely give it to her - after all the surgery and her long flight I'd say her need is greater (and it would be a lovely surprise).

monkeypuzzeltree · 07/05/2011 20:27

Tell your DH that he needs to be more nice to his mother or father christmas won't bring any presents.

FollowMe · 07/05/2011 20:27

Definitely let her have the comfy bed!
Tell your DH he is being really mean, especially as MIL is coming a long way to see him AND is paying for it!!

squeakytoy · 07/05/2011 20:27

You could always take a mattress topper with you too, so that the futon would be comfier for whoever sleeps on it :)

Happymm · 07/05/2011 20:30

Also, post hip replacement you're not supposed to bend your hip greater than 90' for a while, so a low futon maybe a bad idea! Have a lovely time :)

PavlovtheCat · 07/05/2011 20:31

oh i am glad you all agree, i thought given his reaction i was being a bit mad or something! I shall tell him you all think he is being mean Grin.

He is like 'she has two new hips she is in great shape!' and she is, but in great shape for a 77 year old, she is still an older lady now!

compo i like that, he will change his mind pretty sharpish when I tell him that I am sure Grin

OP posts:
PavlovtheCat · 07/05/2011 20:33

I have to keep her on side, she is the only granny the kids have, i want her to come back again! we only see her once or twice a year, so i want her to really enjoy her time with us.

OP posts:
bringinghomethebacon · 07/05/2011 20:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PavlovtheCat · 07/05/2011 20:38

It is fine, she is quite unobstrusive in the evenings, she likes to potter and tidy and enjoy the kids, then go to bed early (9pm) and read, as she gets very tired due to bad hearing. She turns off her ears so can't hear a thing. DH and I will be able to sit by the fire til the wee hours prodding the fire and chilling out together. MIL will be up at the crack of sparrows fart sorting out brekky/tea, entertaining DD.

She will have an absolute blast! And therefore so will we. And it is only for 2 nights.

OP posts:
PavlovtheCat · 07/05/2011 20:40

and MIL is not a shy lady. She quite happily walks into the bathroom when I am having a bath to pass me the phone Shock that freaked me out the first time i tell you! But she is so oblivious I realised there was no point being bothered by it.

I shall not be sleeping naked though. There are limits.

OP posts:
cuttingpicassostoenails · 07/05/2011 20:43

You are a brilliant DiL.

PavlovtheCat · 07/05/2011 20:45

cutting Blush

OP posts:
boilingpoint · 07/05/2011 20:46

what is a yurt?

your lovely btw Grin

PavlovtheCat · 07/05/2011 20:52

it is a wooden structured large tent, bedouin of origin i think, and the one we are staying in has a wood burner through the middle of it, with a big hole at the top to see the stars at night (unless it is cloudy).

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.blackdownyurts.co.uk/graphics/yurt-interior-front-page.jpg&imgrefurl=www.blackdownyurts.co.uk/yurt-holidays-devon.html&usg=__Wv6WA_0giGG0HlZhVv4XzbdS3U8=&h=334&w=500&sz=28&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=Z6il4fK76DDZwM:&tbnh=135&tbnw=180&ei=tqLFTc2wDI2q8QO-uvD1Bw&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dyurt%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1276%26bih%3D703%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=308&vpy=221&dur=2704&hovh=183&hovw=275&tx=150&ty=71&page=1&ndsp=24&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">like this

OP posts:
PavlovtheCat · 07/05/2011 20:52

see, i don't even know - mongolian of origins, not bedouin...

OP posts:
OP posts:
boilingpoint · 07/05/2011 21:12

ooooooooooo wow

PMSL @ glamping

i am so jel!

HoegaardenHappiness · 07/05/2011 22:01

Um where are these yurts....? I want to stay in one too! You are a great DIL btw

chipmonkey · 07/05/2011 22:30

Pavlov's dh you are an ungrateful wretch! That woman carried you for 9 months and after that raised you so well that you got a lovely wife like Pavlov! Give the lady a decent bed for 2 nights! I am seriously worried now that I have only had sons if this is the way they will treat me in my old age.Wink

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