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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Contented Little Baby on a 1 day old

77 replies

mangomacaroons · 09/12/2010 21:36

...cruel, or not?

I should say that I hate the whole CLB thing. To me, it's all about making baby fit into your life rather than the other way round. The parent is the adult here, and should be able to adapt...as a culture we often seem to expect/want our lives to go back to being as they were before the baby was born, rather than listening to the baby's needs.

Anyway, a friend of a friend took the CLB Book into the maternity hospital, so she could start it on her 1 day old DD straight away. I find that horrible, AIBU? The poor little thing has no idea what's going on and her mother's going, sorry, no point crying for milk, it's only 8am, you can't have any till 9.30 am. Definitely find that quite cruel.

OP posts:
stickersarecurrency · 09/12/2010 21:37

YANBU

RhinestoneCowgirl · 09/12/2010 21:38

Bonkers.... I have read the book, mainly out of curiosity, and even GF allows you the first 2 weeks to 'bond' without worrying about routines.

joydivisionovengloves · 09/12/2010 21:38

YANBU

MumNWLondon · 09/12/2010 21:38

To be fair in the CLB she doesn't mention a routine at less than one week, she just says to feed at least every 3 hours.

I like CLB but I see it as a rough guide rather than to be followed to the letter.

pudding25 · 09/12/2010 21:38

If you had actually read the book, you would know that Gina Ford doesn't advocate starting it this early and says to feed a small baby when they are hungry. Don't slag off something you haven't even bothered to read.

ToyBoat · 09/12/2010 21:40

I've bothered to read it. May I slag it off?

MsKalo · 09/12/2010 21:40

I agree. I personally hate this method and before I get flamed for saying so, I did say I 'personally'. I know people who have done it and they like it, I know others who did it and hated it and others who would never do it.

To me, it is not natural at all. A baby needs warmth and attention, especially when breastfed (on demand). And a lot of new studies have shown that it is physically damaging to leave a child to cry.

Has she read The No Cry Sleep Solution?

much better. I do find myself thinking 'that poor baby!'

RhinestoneCowgirl · 09/12/2010 21:40

As I said, I've read it, disagree with it, but have read it

MsKalo · 09/12/2010 21:41

Oh and I have read it ta very much

mummyls · 09/12/2010 21:42

she says to feed the baby when they need it. she doesnt ever say to not feed a hungry baby- quite the opposite.

RhinestoneCowgirl · 09/12/2010 21:42

Probably best not to say too much tho - some people can be a little litigious Wink

Asteria · 09/12/2010 21:42

child abuse - even the book advocates bonding time first. Poor little mite. With any luck one of the nurses on the ward will notice and put her straight about needing to bond before starting the routine. Otherwise, find the page and show it to her.

Asteria · 09/12/2010 21:44

FYI - I found it incredibly helpful, but am wheat intolerant so skipped the toast Grin

MsKalo · 09/12/2010 21:45

In defence of GF (and I am no fan) she doesn't advocate not feeding a starving baby, I agree with those who say that. She is doing that baby no favours by treating it like that. I get sick of the way some new mums are DESPARATE to get baby into a routine straightaway. It's a baby! Not a bloody dog!

thisisyesterday · 09/12/2010 21:45

much as I hate SWMNBB and all her routine crap, you don't actually KNOW that your friend is doing it do you?

i know a few people who bought CLB and then realised it was a pile of shit and binned it. so your friend may realise when her baby is born that she just doesn't want to do it

when you come back and say "yes, she is definitely doing it, the baby is only a coupoe of days old"... well THEN I will don my judgeypants.

Udderly · 09/12/2010 21:46

Oh I did that too - CLB in the labour bag! Since then I've bought a sling, an arms reach co-sleeper, and baba is currently snoring beside me taking over a kingsize bed, I'm hanging off the edge. She is 5 wks old. It turns out I'm an attachment parent, who'd've thunk

Original poster
mangomacaroons · 09/12/2010 21:49

pudding, I have actually read the book...don't slag off someone when you don't know the facts!I do find the whole CLB thing quite unnatural - it treats the baby almost like the enemy in some ways!

This baby is now 16 months...I found out recently that her mum had started the routine in the hospital, she told me at a get together at mutual friend's house.

She has now progressed to putting the baby on "time outs" in her cot. Really sad.

OP posts:
Original poster
mangomacaroons · 09/12/2010 21:49

Udderly, I'm an attachment parent too, something I never thought I'd be...

OP posts:
RhinestoneCowgirl · 09/12/2010 21:51

Uddlerly - I hadn't read GF when DS was born, but was sure I would be pretty firm and organised about routines....

Nope!

matildarosepink · 09/12/2010 21:55

Poor little soul (the baby, I mean.) Perfect example of a little knowledge being a dangerous thing.

I read it, and thought it awful in places. I did find it useful for a few things I had no idea about, like making up the cot. Sounds silly, but I didn't have the kind of help that lots of people take for granted e.g. mum or nan telling you what bedding you need and how to use it etc. I got what I needed from it, then sold it at a boot fair. For 50p.

MsKalo · 09/12/2010 21:55

mangomacaroons what is the baby like? do you see an effect from it?

mumbar · 09/12/2010 21:56

I've never heard of, let alone read the book!

I just spent the 2 weeks bonding and had a life around DS routine. EG. I knew he BreastF at 6,9 and 12 and was happy and content during the morning and knew he screamed bloody murder between 5-7pm, every day, with colic before vomiting!

Therefore arranged shopping, chores etc on the morning and arranged lunch dates for 1pm.

I think I'd be from the 'pile of shit' brigade but do also agree don't knock it until you've tried it. Grin

FWIW I do agree children should fit into an adults life but surely when they're old enough to understand? - or do I just not get it. Confused

Original poster
mangomacaroons · 09/12/2010 22:00

The baby is quite an angry little girl. It seems sometimes as if her mum doesn't even like her.

I think there needs to be a bit of give around fitting into each other's lives - I just do not get parents who have a baby then make their sole focus getting baby into a routine so they can get their sleep back,and I say this as someone who has not had a full night's sleep for 2 years.

OP posts:
Original poster
mangomacaroons · 09/12/2010 22:00

I mean, yes, we all want sleep, but it becomes an obsession from day 1 with some parents and they miss out on enjoying their baby.

OP posts:
Asteria · 09/12/2010 22:03

oh poor little soul - that is so sad.