Contented Little Baby on a 1 day old

[mangomacaroons]

...cruel, or not?

I should say that I hate the whole CLB thing. To me, it's all about making baby fit into your life rather than the other way round. The parent is the adult here, and should be able to adapt...as a culture we often seem to expect/want our lives to go back to being as they were before the baby was born, rather than listening to the baby's needs.

Anyway, a friend of a friend took the CLB Book into the maternity hospital, so she could start it on her 1 day old DD straight away. I find that horrible, AIBU? The poor little thing has no idea what's going on and her mother's going, sorry, no point crying for milk, it's only 8am, you can't have any till 9.30 am. Definitely find that quite cruel.

"a 1 day old baby having her needs ignored in favour of a routine in a book isn't funny at all"

No, it's not.

But as people have said above, if your friend actually was following the book to the letter as you say she was then that's not what would have been happening.

Oh, unclench.

Everyone has different approaches. And some people may not YET have an approach, and are just reading around in order to develop one.

As Trillian says, "if your friend actually was following the book to the letter as you say she was then" ... "a 1 day old baby having her needs ignored in favour of a routine in a book" ... "is not what would have been happening."

I notice there's already posters who can't believe anyone would have a different approach to themselves, and are 'reporting their suspicions' to MNHQ!

FFS

CLB routines don't start at birth unless you count the feed at least 3 hourly bit.

There is a huge difference between liking a routine and being a cruel bitch who ignores the needs of a one day old baby. If she is following CLB to the letter then she won't be leaving her baby to cry or not feeding her when she is hungry. In case people have no common sense, GF has specifically put in the book that obviously, you should feed your child if they are hungry. She also says you shouldn't leave them to cry.

She does have a book on sleeping where she goes on about CC for the desperate but does not advocate this for at least 6 months. I'm not really in favour of CC myself but I can't get my head around the notion that because someone might consider CC with a 6 month old then they will also leave a 1 day old to starve. It just doesn't follow on.

Buy her a copy of the Baby Whisperer.

"With any luck one of the nurses on the ward will notice"

You would hope so but when I had DS, I was FF him on demand in hospital and I had to go for breakfast. I told the MW who was on duty that he may be due a feed as he was feeding every 2 hours and it was about 2 hours but she said "no, he shouldn't be fed before at least 3 hours"

I hurried my breakfast (and I had to go to another ward as our canteen was shut) as she made it clear DS wouldn't be fed before 3 hours had gone by.

Sorry, nothing to do with OP but wanted to point out there are older MW with old fashioned views.

I must have been very lucky - my DS was born at the Borders General in Melrose and they even put us in a bed with a soft side bar so he could sleep in my bed

[fbear] anyone?

My sister read the CLB after she had her twins. Her view is that it was not as draconian as everyone makes it out to be. I think it saved her sanity. She said that if you actually ignore the routines and take it as a general guide then it is really helpful.

I have never seen it so I wouldn't know. I guess it is like any of these books - you take the bits you like and leave the rest.

CLB starts from 6-8 weeks. Are people stupid?

I drove myself mad trying to follow it. Kept thinking why wasn't DS napping/feeding/playing when he should? Didn't he know the rules?!

So I hid it (couldn't chuck as had been lent to me).

I did refer to it when DS was older and it did help then in terms of naps and mealtimes.

I'm really not criticising GF, I know people it has worked for, it's the thought of forcing a just born baby into an unnatural routine instead of just going with the flow and enjoying your new baby that saddens me. And knowing this woman she followed it to the letter, she seems quite hard and cold towards her daughter in many ways.

As I say, routines are great if they work for parent AND baby, it's once you go down the road of ignoring baby's needs in favour of making the routine work that I have an issue with it.

OP, if you have read the book then surely you know it is very clear on the importance of never letting a baby go hungry and never leaving a baby to cry if there's any chance it might be hungry.

And if she's doing it to the letter then she don't be doing anything at 1 day old apart from ensuring she feeds at least every three hours.

I am not a CLB parent, btw, but you are sounding like a stirrer.

Why don't you ask her what it says about CLB and little babies? Say you didn't think it started until 6-8 weeks and babies shouldn't be left hungry (my edition says that)

The first routine is for 2-4 weeks I think.

Don't see how you could get a baby into a sleep/feed routine from day 1 anyway

Stop judging.

GF really helped me first time round, but you have to take it all with a pinch of salt. It helped me to recognise what was likely to be going on with him (I had no real instincts or knowledge about babies). I am an organised sort of person, his routine seemed to basically fit what GF advocated, so it gave me a sense of control

Second time around, I didn't need it so much.

It does annoy me when people talk about it advocating leaving babies to cry - it doesn't do that at all.

*mango8 - just read your last post - wonder if it's possible she's shell-shocked and trying to cling to a life raft of control over things, rather than being cold. Maybe she is very anxious. Some people find it very hard to go with the flow the first time round.

have re-read thread. Actually I'm coming round to the view this is bollocks.

I'm out

JamieLee - know you've left but agree with your posts especially about the first time around loss of control. Have read both CLB and BW and used a mixture of both with both DS's who were both BF. CLB has been reprinted a couple of times and the tone has definately softened in latter versions. At no point does it say to leave a newborn to cry which seems to be the most widely (mis)quoted sentence from the book.

Her DS1 is being woken up as her DS2 wants to feed for hours and there isn't enough milk at the speed he wants it at. Also she letting him cry if he fed within the past hour.

Nothing wrong with 16 month old wanting BM but sorry don't think its right/good when he wants it constantly.

Her DH has been unbeleivably patient, even driving hours each evening after his very stressful job to try and get her DS2 to sleep.

The point I was making was that not teaching your child how to sleep and self soothe could be cruel to whole family.

Anyway its personal choice, and I still take exception that taking a copy of the CLB to hospital is cruel.

'her' DS2? Is he not equally the husband's child?

Yes sorry their DS2. Anyway as I said thats her choice, I still think its unfair (maybe not cruel though) that he is always tired as they haven't taught him to self soothe when tired and made him dependent on BM / car journey / buggy journey.

They sleep trained their DS1 at 16 months and he did more crying in those 3 weeks that my DC have done in their whole lifes.

Are you sure she didnt just takeit in to read it?

But of course not... judge away if thats what you want...