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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to really want a cleaner?

53 replies

EvilEyeButterPie · 04/11/2010 01:28

I suggested I get a cleaner (I even found one) a couple of months back, and the utter HORROR on both sides of the family made me reconsider.

Yes, I'm not well off, and yes, I am at home all day, but I work from home, and when I am not working, the kids are here. Plus I HATE cleaning. I do it, but I hate it. I've done it as a job and not hated it so much, it is the soul destroying never ended nature of cleaning my own house that I hate.

So, I can afford £20 a week, which would buy me two or three hours, what would that get me?

My MIL seemed to take it as a sign that I was "not coping" and my own mum signed and got all dramatic about if only SHE could afford a cleaner, she would give anything to have a cleaner...when she clearly is much better off than me and can afford a cleaner, she just doesn't see herself as the "type" to have a cleaner.

It would mean going without in lean months, but only to the extent that we would have to use up freezer food, not actually starve.

I've never paid anyone to do so much as babysit or plumb before though...how does it work?

Would it help me get on top of my house, or would it just be more stress?

OP posts:
WanderingSheep · 04/11/2010 01:42

Oh ignore family! If you want a cleaner and you feel like you can afford one then do it! I would.

I've never had one so I don't know whether it would add more stress. Are you the kind of person who would want to clean up for the cleaner? Grin

I totally understand where you're coming from about working from home and the children being there if you're not working. I used to CM and the state of the house at the end of the day used to really get me down.

shinyshoes · 04/11/2010 01:45

Why not write a list of jobs that need doing , big jobs and once every 2 weeks or whatever add them to your daily chores.

i've had a few wines so bear with me.
For instance

Monday. Hoover downstairs
clean toilet

Tuesday. Clean bath and sink
Hoover downstairs

Wednesday. put wash on, dry, put away

Thursday. Polish everything

Friday. More washing and drying and putting away

Saturday. iron uniforms for the week,( anything else can be worn as is or ironed when needed) Hoover through the house.

Sunday. ONCE A MONTH , a big job, clean oiut a cupboard or wash the windows, or something

No day should be more than 1/2 hour at most.

I tried something like this when I first got my depression.

shinyshoes · 04/11/2010 01:45

failing that. get a cleaner Grin

Chil1234 · 04/11/2010 06:42

Who lives in your household? Keeping a home clean and tidy is everyone's responsibility, not just yours. Partners & children (even small ones) should all be participating at an appropriate level and that doesn't sound like it's happening. If hiring a cleaner means you would be going without then it sounds like a bad idea. Instead, draw up a rota of tasks, allocate them to everyone fairly and - if everyone does their fair share - the house will look a lot better.

SuchProspects · 04/11/2010 06:58

Cleaners can be brilliant, and I think you should totally ignore your family. They sound like people who don't really think you should pay for "women's work". If you can happily divide up the work like Chil suggests then go for it. But if you want to spend £20 that you can afford on giving yourself a bit more free time every week and not having to do something you hate, then I don't see anything wrong with that.

I suggest trying it out since you never know till you do it. But a couple of words of caution:

  1. To me, 2 -3 hours a week doesn't sound like much for a house with kids in. Nevertheless, a good cleaner seems to be able to do more in 2-3 hours most people do in 4 - 6.
  2. In my experience, cleaners generally don't tidy, they just clean. So if "help me get on top of my house" means you often have toys strewn everywhere, felt tip pens in the cutlery draw and piles of things to put away on the stairs, you may not be getting what you need/want. When we've had cleaners we've always tidied the night before so they could actually clean.3

Best way to find one, I think, is through word of mouth. It may depend on where you live, but IME most cleaners work for cash unless you go through an agency. So you pay them the same day, what you've agreed, in cash. Normally after they've finished, but if you're not going to be in then leave the money on the table (would suggest being in at least the first few times until you're comfortable with them).

MotherMountainGoat · 04/11/2010 07:46

If you work from home you are still working. Why should you have to rush between your computer (or whatever you do) and cleaning the loo?

If it might be a bit of a financial struggle you could consider just having the cleaner every two weeks for 2-3 hours. We do that and it works fine. She does the bathrooms, floors, stairs and sometimes the windows and oven. The rest I do myself on the weekend and evenings. I find that I can do a quick wipe of the bathroom once a day to keep it OK, safe in the knowledge that she'll be doing a thorough clean soon enough.

I agree with SuchProspects that cleaners don't tidy - that's why I don't ask them to do anything in the DCs' rooms. It also really helps to rope in your DP and DC on the weekend - my DP is responsible for the clothes washing for the whole household, for instance, which frees me up for other cleaning.

Pheebe · 04/11/2010 07:53

Ignore family and get a cleaner. I work from home and our cleaner comes once a week for 3 hours and its costs us £30.

She is a godsend. She cleans our 4 bed house top to bottom, except toilets and once a month or so will stop for an extra hour to clean windows or blinds. It is a 'keep on top of things' clean so there's still stuff for us to do but DH and I can cope with that. Kids help by keeping their rooms tidy (with supervision). All mess is tidied up as we go. DH and I split most other jobs (including stuff like ironing). Works for us.

Personally I'd stear clear of a cleaner who insists on cash, we pay ours by cheque made to her trading name.

bamboobutton · 04/11/2010 07:58

who gives a flying fuck what your family think. if you want one get one!

my cleaner recently resigned as she started university and the house is choas.

i hate cleaning with a passion and with 2.9yo ds trashing the place as soon as i clean the place im giving up until i find a new cleaner, i don't mind mess that much

Hullygully · 04/11/2010 08:01

I love my cleaner. She takes the pain away and makes my house shiny.

Rocketbird · 04/11/2010 08:05

If you want and can afford a cleaner then get one and stuff what anyone else thinks. I bloody would! :o

whatdoiknowanyway · 04/11/2010 08:08

Get a cleaner. No one's business except yours.

Hullygully · 04/11/2010 08:10

I have made economies in every other area, but that £20 is sacrosanct. It means that at the weekend you can have thousands of kids rampaging about, loads of wine swilling adults and jollity and then on Monday beautifulness is restored for the week.

A bargain.

Fiddledee · 04/11/2010 08:16

Get a cleaner, I hate cleaning am a SAHM and have a cleaner. I do have pre-schoolers and a large house, but I had a cleaner when I was on my own and had time to clean.

If you live in an average 3 bedroom house, 3 hours is plenty to clean the whole house, 2 hours to do everything except the bedrooms. Best to tidy before they come round, then you are paying for cleaning rather than tidying.

Cleaning is for many of us soul destroying.

Don't ask the previous generation IMO - you get the usual, I had 5 kids, house was spotless etc...

DH gets in a rage if he spends his weekends cleaning bathrooms, usually worth a go I find if he suggests cutting costs by giving up the cleaner.

glasscompletelybroken · 04/11/2010 08:27

Get a cleaner. I'm going to as soon as I can afford it. I also work from home and it's very hard to get anyone to take that seriously and accept that you are, in fact, at work. If I went out to work in an office no-one would expect me to fit the hoovering and toilet cleaning in around the telephone calls/filing/reports etc.

MsKalo · 04/11/2010 08:32

Go for it and bugger everyone else! No business of there's and you are coping just fine and being sensible in not wasting time cleaning if u don't need to!

KaraStarbuckThrace · 04/11/2010 08:33

Butterpie - I am thinking about getting a cleaner as well, as I am finding hard to keep on top of the house work, especially because DS is being really clingy at the moment and tends to get under my feet. The days when he is at nursery I do the absolute min as I need to work, so I only do the bare minimum - i.e. do the pots tidy the kitchen, and do one of the bathrooms, plus washing! DH works really long hours, is away 6.30am - 7pm, so I don't ask him to do much in thw way of house work - however he does iron and he does help with the washing up.

Life is too short!

pastyeater · 04/11/2010 10:06

YANBU and you are helping society by employing someone.

SlightlyJaded · 04/11/2010 10:10

I think it is a generation thing...

I am a SAHM although I work freelance sometimes. I have a cleaner for 4 hours a week on a Monday and have had to fight my corner for it (against parents rather than DP). My mother has now come round but initially thought it was a bit extravagent.

Get her to come on a Monday. It's lovely. The house is all shiny for the beginning of the week.

dreamingofsun · 04/11/2010 10:16

i have a cleaner - she's fab. i have heard of people that come in for say a day and do a springclean - then you keep things ticking over inbetween. Might be worth considering as you could have when you are more flush. This year i'm also having a gardener get rid of the leaves - which has stopped all the massive arguements about who should do it. i would rather do this and wear old clothes - each to their own. i bet your mum/MIL doesn't work.

staranise · 04/11/2010 10:18

Best thing about a cleaner is that ALL of your house will be clean at the same time - even if that's only one day a week, that feeling is worth every penny.

oh, and ignore your parents, it's a generation thing.

WildistheWind · 04/11/2010 10:19

YANBU-

I fought with DH for the last year for a cleaner and finally got one- Grin

I was sick of spending my weekends cleaning instead of enjoying being with DDs.

Mondays are my favorite days now.

Original poster
EvilEyeButterPie · 04/11/2010 12:14

I just don't want to turn into my mum- she does a full day at work, then comes home and starts cleaning and tidying at home, while my dad and sister sit watching her. My DH works long hours and does more tidying/cleaning than I do, but it is still just TOO much. Like a few of you have said, each place does get cleaned bit by bit, but we never have an entirely clean house. And sometimes a job gets overlooked somehow- ie I realised yesterday that it was weeks since I had wiped the bathroom sink down.

i would quite happily go out to work as a cleaner to pay for a cleaner to do my house- at least then i would have a set task to accomplish in a set time for a set pay. And I could say I was tired because I had been at WORK and everyone would coo over me and say I couldn't possibly be expected to look after two children by myself and I would get practically a round of applause for changing a nappy...yes?

Seriously though, I know it is just handing on my own subjugation under the patriarchy to another woman, most probably lower down the class and privledge scale than myself, but...I don't want to have to be scrubbing floors whilst on the phone to a customer. Or watching the dc trample muds over said florr five minutes later. At least a cleaner could take one floor scrub off me a week!

OP posts:
donkeyderby · 04/11/2010 12:24

Get a cleaner. Cleaners need work too in this recession. I used to do cleaning and I was grateful for the work. There's something quite British about this embarrassment around cleaners. It's a job, it's an income and it's a fair swap of money and work. I worked for someone whose husband didn't want a cleaner because he thought it was humiliating for me to clean his house. That made me feel worse.

coldcomfortHeart · 04/11/2010 13:11

I try to do what shinyshoes does, a job for each day. Makes it easier and less overwhelming. But god, if I could afford a cleaner I so would. If you can, then go for it I say.

umf · 04/11/2010 14:04

Get a cleaner. Pay her properly and be nice to her.

On the patriarchy/class question, my in-laws were extremely annoying about this - despite my MiL doing all the housework. I pointed out that some poor woman somewhere sews their pants, and they pay her badly and don't give a damn about her working conditions and certainly never thank her. That helped.