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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to really want a cleaner?

53 replies

EvilEyeButterPie · 04/11/2010 01:28

I suggested I get a cleaner (I even found one) a couple of months back, and the utter HORROR on both sides of the family made me reconsider.

Yes, I'm not well off, and yes, I am at home all day, but I work from home, and when I am not working, the kids are here. Plus I HATE cleaning. I do it, but I hate it. I've done it as a job and not hated it so much, it is the soul destroying never ended nature of cleaning my own house that I hate.

So, I can afford £20 a week, which would buy me two or three hours, what would that get me?

My MIL seemed to take it as a sign that I was "not coping" and my own mum signed and got all dramatic about if only SHE could afford a cleaner, she would give anything to have a cleaner...when she clearly is much better off than me and can afford a cleaner, she just doesn't see herself as the "type" to have a cleaner.

It would mean going without in lean months, but only to the extent that we would have to use up freezer food, not actually starve.

I've never paid anyone to do so much as babysit or plumb before though...how does it work?

Would it help me get on top of my house, or would it just be more stress?

OP posts:

Stangirl · 04/11/2010 14:24

Get a cleaner. I've had one since I was 25 years old living in a one bedroom flat and hated hoovering. Some of my more guilt-ridden liberal friends were appalled but I took their attitude to be very patronising to the cleaner. My very beloved Grandma was a cleaner until she was nearly 80 and I don't see anything demeaning in it at all. I now have a 4-bed house that takes my cleaner 3 hours to do a week - both bathrooms, kitchen, hoovered everywhere - £30. She's lovely and I give her Easter eggs and Xmas chocolates to say thanks for the good job she does. I've been on maternity leave for 9 months and have enjoyed every minute because I haven't had to bother about cleaning. If I could afford it I'd have a cook too! If you can get a personal recommendation for a local person do - the agencies are more expensive and often worse standards that just a cash in hand person.

Mooos · 04/11/2010 14:26

Get a cleaner. She'll do more in 2/3 hours than you'd believe, simply because that's her job. If you were doing it you'd be distracted and it would take 3 x longer.

A good cleaner is a godsend. Ignore your whiney family on this one.

Muser · 04/11/2010 14:51

I have a teeny tiny flat and will be getting a cleaner in the New Year, just in time for me to be on maternity leave. I would quite happily have less money to spend each month and the satisfaction of not having to spend my weekends hoovering. Husband is completely on side, he already gets his shirts cleaned and ironed at a laundry, yes he could spend every Sunday evening doing his ironing for the week, but for the price of a few pints and a kebab he can get someone else to do it.

If you're concerned about exploitation, employ a cleaner directly rather than through an agency and pay well.

It's not so long ago that lots of people would have had cleaners, not just the rich and idle. Plenty of people had someone to come and help them with the housework because it was so much more work.

DastardlyandSmugly · 04/11/2010 14:54

I have a cleaner and it's the best money I spend every week.

ullainga · 04/11/2010 15:11

Get a cleaner. Just because you have time to clean and in principle could clean yourself, does not mean that you have to. We outsource tons of things but for some reason the cleaning is frowned upon - I also buy my bread from the bakery instead of baking it myself and take car for servicing instead of doing it myself, is this also a waste of money and a sign that I'm not coping?

Myleetlepony · 04/11/2010 17:19

I agree with everyone else, get a cleaner. (I am one - where do you live? ).
Seriously, if you can get a good private cleaner, rather than an agency cleaner, you will have the consistency of the same person every week, and get more time for your money. In two hours I'd have a 3 bed house vacuumed from top to bottom (if you clear the floor of toys to save time), kitchen and bathroom gleaming with floors washed, and the whole house dusted. Personally I find it easier if people trust me for a few weeks rather than dole out lists, then chat if they need anything done differently. Then when I get a few spare minutes I'll clean a couple of windows, or wipe skirting boards, just a little "extra" every week.

The nice thing about having a cleaner is that, once a week, all your carpets look "lifted" and your shower screen is transformed.

doireallywant3 · 04/11/2010 17:47

definitely get a cleaner. takes away any arguments between DH and yourself. frees up your time to do nice things. I pay my cleaner £10 p/h (so £40 per week) to clean my 4 bed house (i have a messy husband and DD 14 months). I keep it v tidy (OCD) so she just cleans and makes it lovely. i would not be without a cleaner, even if I was a SAHM. she is worth her weight in gold. if you can afford £20 a week get her to spend the time on the horible jobs - bathrooms etc and you can keep on top of tidying and other easy jobs.

doireallywant3 · 04/11/2010 17:49

oh and if you can, get one that is recommended by someone you know. be very clear about what you want her to do too. don't expect them to be intuitive or to 'just know'. Especially the younger eastern european ones.

mrsshackleton · 04/11/2010 17:52

Get one, I spend £50 a week on mine and am considering doubling her hours (big house though and single mother at the moment). If you work and hate cleaning it's a no brainer

And yes, don't get an agency cleaner.

tiredofchallenge · 04/11/2010 17:57

I really want a cleaner too, but don't know where to start looking! I don't know anyone who has a cleaner, so can't get personal recommendations, I can find agencies that cover my area, but it seems you'd all recommend a private cleaner, so where do I find one? Is there some secret place you all know about that I clearly don't?

30andMerkin · 04/11/2010 18:04

Would you earn more than you'd pay her in the same amount of time? Then do it. I work from home and having a cleaner makes me actually work hyper-efficiently for those 2/3 hours because then I know that I am 'banking' that time rather than spending it cleaning the shower, IYSWIM (I know, not just the woman's responsibility... but in my head the logic works).

JosieZ · 04/11/2010 18:08

I had a cleaner when I worked - absolute bliss she would tidy, clean, wash --- I would come home to this perfectly tidy neat house, more than worth the money.

3 hours was enough to clean all the downstairs.

I wouldn't tell anyone you have one so there is no debate with others as to the rights and wrongs.

But you need a good one. You'll probably know if she's right when you interview.

Myleetlepony · 05/11/2010 08:09

Start looking by asking friends who have cleaners. All of my work has been by word of mouth.

EldritchCleavage · 05/11/2010 11:17

Do it, definitely.
We have a cleaner, though DH is at home with DS. We make sure to tidy before she comes so there is nothing in the way. If a cleaner arrives to an untidy house you just won't get the benefit of him/her.

I think there are two ways to do it- either your cleaner does a basic clean of everything in the 2-3 hours, which you then supplement, or you do the basic cleaning and your cleaner does the extra jobs that are hard to fit in, like cleaning windows, sweeping the front yard etc. Up to you.

Whichever you choose, I think a list of things your cleaner is expected to do, left out every week is a good idea. One of my very organised friends had three rotating lists so all the various jobs got covered once every three weeks.

And I get the guilt/distaste/feminist concern about having a cleaner, but frankly unless the critics in your family are prepared to help you out it's not their business if you decide to sub-contract the work. At least your cleaner is not being oppressed, since s/he will be paid.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 05/11/2010 11:27

If you want a cleaner get one, not up to your Mother or MIL. I have had one for years, first thing I did when I went back to part time work was to pay for a cleaner. The joy of Thursdays walking into a clean house.... My cleaner cleans (the house is tidy, I don't do clutter or ornaments so she can do a 4 bed 2 bathroom house in 3 hours). We do extra jobs such as windows as and when, although with no kids at home in term time and therefore only one bed and bath to clean she now has often time for these too.

My Mother's generation seem to be of the view that a good bit of hard work and suffering for sufferings sake is good.

I have a gardener too!! I like to enjoy my house and garden. Not work in them.

DrSeuss · 05/11/2010 11:47

You want a cleaner? You can afford it? You are able to find someone reliable and trustworthy? Then get one!!!
Three hours a week would enable you to take a college course, to study for a qualification, to enjoy a book, have a massage or just sit and stare out the window. Any one of those will do you the power of good. Who cares what other people think? I bet you spend your life as a wife and mother running after other people. Let someone run after you! But don't use the free time to do other houshold or kid related stuff. Make it just for you.
In some countries, it is considered a civic duty to employ others if you can. Someone in your area would like £2o a week right now.

Squitten · 05/11/2010 11:53

I've never had a cleaner. Like you, my family already think that DH does too much since I'm the SAHM and I'd probably never hear the end of it.

However, we're due DC2 next month and instead of buying baby stuff, MIL has offered to buy us a cleaner for a few months (her own cleaner is looking for more hours). We are VERY excited about this and I think after we get used to having it done, we may well end up with one of our own...

BibiBlocksberg · 05/11/2010 13:16

Def. get a cleaner and sod what everyone else says. Just because you are at home in the day doesn't mean you're there to take care of all of the cleaning, tidying etc.

I find people can get confused with the whole I'm working from home set-up.

Plus, finishing a normal work week it's just exhausting to then have to spend your weekends doing more work. Get the cleaner!!

This topic reminds me of one of the episodes of Grumpy Old Women.

Jenny Eclair said she has always had a cleaner even when she was on the dole. That's dedication to your cleaner

Mooos · 10/11/2010 07:00

Squitten - that's a lovely pressie to get, what a boost.

thehoopedstar83 · 31/05/2011 20:20

If anyone needs a cleaner around the Nottinghamshire area and surrounding I'd recommend haywoods they are brilliant. Cara has cleaned for us for over a year or so now and she is by far the best!
Check out the website www.haywoods-fccs.co.uk
Fully insured and reliable and above all a nice friendly face week in week out I can trust :-)

Hope this helps :-)

pixipie151 · 31/05/2011 21:59

YANBU - its your money, do what you want to do and sod em. I'd love a cleaner. Go for it!

Pictish · 31/05/2011 22:06

DOOOOOO IIIITTTT!!

I bloody would. Don't tell anyone either...you don't have to explain yourself. And if the naysayers find out...just shrug and say 'yeah...so? Best money I ever spend!'

Refuse to discuss further.

OTheHugeManatee · 31/05/2011 22:08

You want a cleaner, get a cleaner. Like donkeyderby said - it's a fair swap of money for work, and the OP doesn't have time to do that work. Any other interpretation is just silly.

ohanotherone · 31/05/2011 22:11

My cleaner is brilliant, she does 3 hours every fortnight. I tidy the house so that when she comes she can clean it properly. I live in a biggish four bedroom house and she does this....

Gets rid of all the cobwebs/spiders from the beams/corners.
Vacums upstairs and stairs really well.
Cleans two baths, one shower, three sinks and toilets. Makes them smell nice and leaves them with that blue toilet stuff in.
Polishs and dusts all surfaces.
Cleans inside of windows and all mirrors.
Vacums ground floor under sofas aswell.
Mops ground floor.
Cleans kitchen units and sinks (2, 1 in utility room)
Folds toilet tissue into little arrows (i know, it's so nice coming home to that).

All for £27. I never ask her to do all of that, she just does and now I've written it down. I'm quite amazed!!!!

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 31/05/2011 22:17

If you want a cleaner, get one! You don't need to justify this to anyone! Cleaning is never ending! First thing I did when I went back to work was to get one! Never looked back! Does help to have the house tidyish though so cleaner can clean rather than tidy.

Oh, I pay my cleaner the same hourly rate as I earn and everytime I get a payrise at work I raise her the same amount.

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