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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think DC2 should get some new clothes?

50 replies

Notmorehandmedowns · 05/08/2010 13:50

My brother and his wife have 2 DDs, 2 years apart. DD2 is ALWAYS dressed in DD1's hand me downs. They bought a new top for DD1 recently when we were all out shopping and when I asked if they were getting DD2 anything they laughed and said 'Yes this in 2 years time'. DD2 is nearly 3, DD1 nearly 5. AIBU to think that it would be nice to get your DC2 some new things of their own even if a lot of their stuff is their older sisters? I should say that the clothes also look worn - DD2 does not look well dressed - and they have enough spare money to spend on other stuff, X box games, cases of wine and stuff.

OP posts:
SalFresco · 05/08/2010 13:52

If she is 3 and not bothered about what she wears, it is a waste of money. Better to save the money for when she is older and will refuse to wear hand me downs!!

Not really any of your business either, so YABU

minipie · 05/08/2010 13:54

YABU

She is three years old and won't give a damn whether her clothes are new or not... unless you put that idea into her head of course.

innocuousnamechange · 05/08/2010 13:55

yabu

oneofthosedays · 05/08/2010 14:36

They're getting their money's worth and full wear of these clothes and I don't blame them!! Was slightly gutted when our second was a DS meaning he couldn't have any of DD's hand me downs . YABU, if it bothers you so much, start buying DC2 clothes for xmas and birthdays!

Sprogstersmum · 05/08/2010 14:43

My dd2 is generally dressed in dd1's hand me downs - she's only 21 months she doesn't know or care and I like being able to reuse all the stuff I loved the first time around. I do buy dd2 some stuff but not much compared to dd1 - agree with other posters, you abu and it's none of your business. Surely you should admire their thriftiness and enviromentally friendly approach!

domesticsluttery · 05/08/2010 14:47

If she isn't fussed about it then YABU. She may well be more bothered as she gets older, so they are right to make the most of it while they can!

DS2 is 6 and DS1 is nearly 8. DS2 often wears hand me downs, and certainly did when he was younger and so they grew out of clothes faster. He isn't remotely bothered, in fact he looks forward to DS1 growing out of things so that he can have them! He does get soem new things, but nowhere near as many as DS1.

Loshad · 05/08/2010 14:48

YADBU, they are being very sensible, economical and environmentally friendly. In a few years time she will mind, but until then I think they are definately doing the right thing.

skyeplusbump · 05/08/2010 14:51

i do kind of know what you mean,
we have freinds like this ds 4ys gets new stuff but dd 2 just get all his old stuff,including shoes...they guess shes the same size he was,dont even get them fitted,they have never bought anything for their dd bar food as they even wrap up old toys for her birthday...
on the one hand i am in utter awe of their thriftyness!
but i also feel like occasionaly,maybe on her birthday,they could buy her something...

Firawla · 05/08/2010 15:53

yanbu, to me it would be unfair, and personally i would feel bad as though i havent treated them equally. i do re use ds1 clothes on ds2 but also get him some new, which i feel is more sensible to take a middle ground with it rather than chuck all the old stuff and everything new (wasteful) or every single thing 2nd hand passed down (a bit mean)
i dont buy the environmentally friendly argument, when they are all finished with the clothes whether bought for ds1, ds2 or whoever else if they are in good condition will be given to charity (straight to refugees centre, as charity shops sometimes just stuff out for no reason)
if the dd2 doesnt look well dressed, like her clothes are worn down and dd1 all shiny and new you would think that she would notice?? also even when they walk down the street it would look like they prefer the older one and show favouritisim?!

LadyintheRadiator · 05/08/2010 16:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

diddl · 05/08/2010 16:19

There will come a time when they can´t do this, so I don´t blame them doing it for as long as possible tbh.

foureleven · 05/08/2010 16:20

I feel horrendously guilty when DD gets all the hand me downs.. particularly because her older sister is step sister so DD should have been an only or eldest child and never had hand me downs.. but it is true they dont notice. In fact she adores wearing her big sisters clothes.

Im sure as she gets older it will change but for now Im going to make the most of it. there's too much waste about.

Dysgu · 05/08/2010 16:22

I have 2 DDs and DD2 wears DD1's old clothes - a lot of which were handed to us from my Dniece so they are at least 3rd hand. However, DD2 also looks lovely and gets many admiring comments (she possibly looks better in her clothes than either of the others due to being such a cute girl - not to say the others are lovely too....

DD2 also gets a lot of DD1's toys but, as they are only 19 months and 3 years old, they basically just share everything at the moment.

Oh, and just this week when we were out, DD1 spilt her juice and ended up changing into DD2's spare top!

A lot of the time it is lovely seeing DD2 in clothes I loved when DD1 or Dniece wore them - and DSis says the same too! I do buy some new bits and pieces for DD2 (and DD1) but do sometimes feel a bit sad for DD2 who does not seem to have very much of her own stuff - clothing or toys. Still, she is only small/young right now and it is sure to change when they are both older.

inkyfingers · 05/08/2010 16:24

honestly - do the DCs mind?! My DS2 has old clothes, but gets music lessons which did not interest the eldest. who cares?

diddl · 05/08/2010 16:26

The other thing is that if they both get new & the younger one has the "hand me downs", the younger one in effect has twice as much!

maryz · 05/08/2010 16:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

inkyfingers · 05/08/2010 16:32

by no. 3 they are HEIRLOOMS and then sadly go to recycling - too bad for the charity shop.

OrmRenewed · 05/08/2010 16:33

She's 3. She won't care.

There are clothes in our house that were handed down to DS#1 by friends or cousins, that have been passed down through all 3 of my DC. If they didn't happen to like an item of clothing they didn't wear it - no big deal. Now they are older they have almost entirely new clothes - because they care. When they were 3 they didn't.

And this "and they have enough spare money to spend on other stuff, X box games, cases of wine and stuff" I'm afraid lost you any sympathy at all

inkyfingers · 05/08/2010 16:37

but I agree with poster that shouldn't make point in front of other people of buying nice stuff for eldest and laughing 'huh, don't worry about DD2, she'll get it grey and manky' etc.

zippy79 · 05/08/2010 16:50

YANBU- especially if the clothes are worn. I think its okay that some clothe, especially expenive items are used again but if every item is a hand down, they are being a tad unfair to the second child

zippy79 · 05/08/2010 16:51

sorry my post should have read badly worn- obviously they are worn!

flaime · 05/08/2010 18:35

My DD2 (nearly 8) loves it when she gets 'new' clothes but doesn't care whether they are brand new from a shop or the box of stuff DD1 grew out of a couple of years ago.

She has far more clothes in her wardrobe than anyone else so does very well out of it.

colditz · 05/08/2010 18:37

Don't be ridiculous.

Money is not love and people who think it is are always in debt.

YABU

ConnorTraceptive · 05/08/2010 18:44

ds2 gets most of ds1's old clothes. If something is stained and manky then I don't keep it and I do get new stuff if it's needed. TBH much of ds1's stuff is in great condition so I'd much rather the money was spent elsewhere.

Honestly a 3 year old doesn't give a shite. I get most of my own stuff from charity shops and I don't care that it's second hand. I could buy myself new stuff but prefer to spend money on wine and stuff

ShinyAndNew · 05/08/2010 18:46

She's better off than my dd2. Her me downs are passed from dd1 to my niece and then back to dd2. Dd2 doesn't care. Her favourite outfit is a hand me down.

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