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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Original poster

Introduction and coronavirus

32 replies

user1479136681 · 11/03/2020 21:54

We're due to start our introductions in 2 weeks and placement in 20 days, is anyone else starting introductions soon? I'm panicking that the country will go into lock down and placement will be delayed. Tell me if I'm being crazy or not! I am thinking of calling our SW but my other half says I don't need to worry this much yet.

OP posts:
Weekends · 12/03/2020 05:26

Hi,
I really don't know, but just wanted to say good luck. I hope there aren't any/too many delays because of this for you.
I'd be phoning my SW. X

mahrezzy · 12/03/2020 08:55

I nearly posted a similar message last night! My introductions is a three week period (starts as a slow burn and builds up as my son is very attached to his carers). It started yesterday and I asked all the social workers what on earth we'll do if one of us catches it, or if the country goes into lockdown, etc (I'm a single adopter too, it would be horrible if I got sick at this vital stage).

The answer is they don't know. This is unprecedented and we need to play it by ear. I'm waiting to see what's announced today and want to make my own judgement about what's best. Unfortunately I think we're in the calm before the storm and we don't know how long this storm will last for. This could potentially run for months and months.

sunshineandskyscrapers · 12/03/2020 09:27

Fingers crossed for both of you that it all goes smoothly. There is no way of knowing where we will be in two weeks but most organisations are looking at what ifs and sharing contingency plans with employees so it's worth starting the discussion with your social worker even if they don't have a definitive answer. Delays and the accompanying frustration are so much part of the adoption experience. I really hope you aren't held up but if it is delayed by a few weeks just treat it like any other delay, and use the time as well as you can for more decluttering, repairs to the house, batch cooking etc. and reassure yourself that it will happen. This is just one more hiccup.

Original poster
user1479136681 · 12/03/2020 09:31

Thanks for your replies, it's good to know there are others in the same boat. I'm going to ask about possibly moving it forwards a few days. My leave officially starts on March 30th so would I have to change this?

Good luck everyone and stay healthy xxx

OP posts:
fasparent · 12/03/2020 19:20

Paediatric medical assessments/health care., are being done here at home rather than Hospital , so will not add to delays. Should not effect introductions I would think.

dimples76 · 15/03/2020 11:00

I was about to start a thread about this too. I have matching panel and intros planning meeting on Wednesday and intros are meant to start a week on Tuesday for a week. I'm hoping that provided everything can be done on Wednesday and that the FC family, my soon to be DD, me and DS are not ill it should be okay ....I think we may need to do 2 sets of intro plans depending on whether DS's school closes.

Original poster
user1479136681 · 18/03/2020 14:58

How are your introductions going @dimples76?

We have been told today that they're taking it day by day. Introductions are due to start Monday, they could be delayed or maybe placement will be moved forward but who knows. Of all the things I have been worrying about throughout this process, I definitely didn't expect a global pandemic.

We're staying in and isolating until Monday with the aim of avoiding catching anything.

OP posts:
Original poster
user1479136681 · 18/03/2020 14:59

@mahrezzy too, any updates?

OP posts:
dimples76 · 18/03/2020 15:11

User I had matching panel by conference call this morning. The plan is for intros to start on Tuesday to allow for ADM to ratify. I had hoped that they might expedite that to start on Friday or Monday instead but it appears not. Fingers crossed!!!!

Niffler75 · 18/03/2020 15:18

Best wishes to everyone going through matching panel and waiting on introductions starting. 💐

Original poster
user1479136681 · 18/03/2020 15:34

I've just heard a rumour that UK will start lockdown on Friday

OP posts:
mahrezzy · 19/03/2020 10:51

My introductions have been paused indefinitely. I helped to make the decision. My little boy is very attached to his foster mother and we'd probably go to lockdown before he was ready to come home. The hardest decision I've ever had to make, but it's the right thing for him. I'm devastated. Let's hope this doesn't run for years and years and that we can get it all under control sooner rather than later.

Thanks for everyone's support x

Original poster
user1479136681 · 19/03/2020 11:26

I'm really sorry to hear that @mahrezzy, it must be so hard for you but shows you have his best interests at heart and will make an amazing parent for your son. Hopefully this will be over soon xxx

OP posts:
Niffler75 · 19/03/2020 12:05

@mahrezzy I am so sorry. Let's hope this is all over soon and normality resumes. 💐

sjns · 19/03/2020 21:05

My initial training course has (understandably) been postponed until further notice

As well as feeling upset that there will be a delay to what is already a long and frustrating process, I am also concerned for all the children out there who desperately need loving parents but can’t get the support they need whilst we are in this crisis. I hope there can be a way that care workers can find a process which causes minimal disruption

Jellycatspyjamas · 20/03/2020 06:44

I am also concerned for all the children out there who desperately need loving parents but can’t get the support they need whilst we are in this crisis

For the vast majority of children at this point in proceedings they will already be in foster care, so in a secure environment that meets their needs for support. While it’s not great that adoption processes get delayed I can almost guarantee that social workers efforts will be directed to those kids on the CP register, or where CP investigations are ongoing - where the children are living with daily risk and don’t have safe care arrangements.

We’re in very uncertain, upsetting times - hang in there though, this too will pass.

Ifeel1000yearsold · 20/03/2020 14:04

Intros in our LA have all been suspended. Feel desperately sad for the parents waiting for their children. Sending a hug to anyway who has been effected in this way. X

Original poster
user1479136681 · 20/03/2020 14:18

We've been told intros will continue but only in our homes, no going out to the park etc. Fingers crossed that it does continue as scheduled.

OP posts:
Original poster
user1479136681 · 20/03/2020 15:06

@Ifeel1000yearsold Which LA are you in?

OP posts:
Ifeel1000yearsold · 20/03/2020 15:16

I’ve sent you a private message x

mahrezzy · 21/03/2020 10:41

Hi all. I'm so fed up. I'm struggling with all of this. All my friends who I met through the process now have their children, including my closest adoption process friend whose daughter came home last week. They're all sympathetic but also keeping their distance from me, I think, because they feel awkward or don't want to upset me further. I understand this. I don't know how I feel about hearing about their children to be honest. I want to be happy for them - and I am happy for them - but it's hard.

I'm currently video calling my son every other day. He's only little so understandably not that interested! This could run on for months and months. I feel like the bond we've created will start to disappear and that this may not happen at all. I wonder if he'll stay with his carers long term now, if maybe his plan will change because by the time life goes back to normal, he won't be in an emotional place to be adopted. It's so so hard. Nobody knows what will happen or what's for the best. I keep looking at what's happening in Italy (I think our mortality curve is the same as theirs at the moment) and how there's no end in sight for them.

I know all I can do is to keep myself as safe and healthy and as positive as possible, but it's hard. Friends keep moaning about trivial things like not being able to go to the cinema and I want to scream at them.

fasparent · 21/03/2020 23:24

Unfortunately there are 75,000 children in care. 1900 in our area alone.
the current situation is unprecedented. Many FC will be in lockdown as we are with 4 children and pre adoption ., have been like this for 2 weeks., from social workers and all support and our family's., most work re medical, health care, reviews are continuing be it by phone skype, facetime, etc., including court's who say will continue in some form such is the justice system. We can not move children yet we are requested too take more as emergency's due too current situation., carer's will get ill and be unable too continue supporting children in their care. All are doing their best of an awful situation. also a lot of carer's foster when there children are all grown up and are in the older age group.

fasparent · 22/03/2020 11:49

None of us are ill just that children are vulnerable. Set aside current situation, have had children placed with in a week in the past for different reasons. If situation continues will most likely in worst scenario too fast track placements, no doubt contingency's and freeing up space ., Children are placed for many reasons parents are ill or need time to organize , will see in increase in this provision. Are fast tracking some medical issues today as all is quite not many people about., all done on phone requesting we take child in today too complete treatment's.

dimples76 · 23/03/2020 07:06

Mahrezzy I really feel for you. How old is the boy?

I am due to start intros on Wednesday. LA are keen for it to go ahead as long as DS, me, DD to be and FC remain well and are comfortable. They want to place another baby with FC but she already has 3 babies and no room for any more. FC, SW and I wanted to start today and slightly shorten intros (she is 8 months old) but LA seem to be sticking to a business as usual approach.

Obviously my main priority is that we all stay safe but I do genuinely think it would be better all around for her to join us asap.

We will just have to see what this week brings. I'm lucky in that if I have to 'return' to work I can work at home so will be able to keep DS at home whatever happens.

Fasparent it sounds like you have your hands full. Will you be able to take more?

fasparent · 23/03/2020 09:54

Only in an absolute emergency . Most are placed direct for NICU or ICU Hospitals as we are trained specialist carer's., most would require full support home nursing teams. Medical, Surgical, Cardiac so no unless all are desperate.