Introduction and coronavirus

[user1479136681]

We're due to start our introductions in 2 weeks and placement in 20 days, is anyone else starting introductions soon? I'm panicking that the country will go into lock down and placement will be delayed. Tell me if I'm being crazy or not! I am thinking of calling our SW but my other half says I don't need to worry this much yet.

@dimples76 Thanks. It's tough. He's nearly two and very attached to his carers (which is great, long term but not so great for introductions!). He knows I'm mummy and we've had about seven playdates now (we had a schedule of playdates before introductions was meant to start). We video call every day too.

Every case is different. He's an out of county placement so it involves hotel stays which is obviously tricky at the moment. Additionally, although we all feel 'well' at the moment we may be carrying it, and I couldn't live with myself if I gave it to his carers (and I'd not be happy if they gave it to me!). So we're waiting. The FCs aren't able to self isolate at the moment but I'm hopeful that once they're able to and they've gone a couple of weeks without any symptoms that we can find some sort of solution to getting him home. I live in hope.

Good luck with your introductions! xx

@mahrezzy I real feel for you, it's a horrible situation that no one could have imagined. But you sound a bit more optimistic in your latest post? I hope it's only a couple of weeks. Making sure you have the time to do proper introductions is the best idea.

As for us, our LA have decided to accelerate introductions. We are now having only 2 days and placement on the third. It's not ideal. We've just finished day 1 and it was pretty overwhelming for everyone involved, not least our LO who was very upset throughout bathtime until he went back to foster home. I feel really sorry for him and a bit helpless, I don't really know how to soothe him. Fwiw I think you're doing the right thing to wait. Our LO is 12 months but he's clearly very attached to FC. I was so worried about postponing but now I think I was being selfish.

@user1479136681 I feel more hopeful now a lockdown is in place. Hopefully we can reach a peak of infections in two weeks and then start to see a reduction, which will lead to me being able to see my son again soon after that. I'm determined to find a way to get him home after the lockdown, I'll do whatever it takes.

A three day introduction period sounds intense and extreme. I'm feeling for you. Deep breaths, fake it until you make it and remember he's possibly more resilient than both of you! He'll be okay. It sounds tough, but if you can get him home quickly you're both going to have a lockdown to bond with him. Sending hugs, it will be okay x

@user1479136681
My ds moved in at 12 months. He consistently got really upset at bathtime during introductions but at the foster carer's house with her doing the bathing. She said it was new behaviour and he'd always been so good for his bath. When he moved in he looked at the bath I was running and made it clear he wanted nothing to do with it. I decided I didn't want to put him (or myself) through that. I sat him on a towel in the bathroom with a washing up bowl full of bath toys that he could play with while I sponged him down. After a couple of days I moved him into the bath but the water was only in the bowl, and only when he was comfortable did I start sloshing the water out. It took about two weeks until I could just run a bath and put him in it but it was so worth it and it was completely stress free. Something to consider if he's unhappy at bathtime.

That's really good to know, thanks @sunshineandskyscrapers we'll probably try that!!

Day 2 has gone much better. He was at our house without the foster carer and seemed much more comfortable (as did we) we have also managed to get an extra day added on.

@mahrezzy our LA have now told us that introductions count as essential travel, might be worth enquiring about/looking into with your LA if you feel it would be worthwhile.

Our introductions which were due to start today have been indefinitely postponed. The LA's concern was the family's mixing and going into each others houses. They have said though that if after a couple of weeks of lockdown we're all well that they'll reconsider but reduce intros to 4 days. I guess it may also depend on how much need there is for foster care placements.

If at all possible I wouldn’t agree to shortened intros. I know how much you’ll want the little ones homes but doing it in a rush will cause huge problems all round.