Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Don't think can do autism /adhd assment

38 replies

Whyohwhy99 · 13/10/2026 14:07

I don't think I'm going to be able to get an autism assessment. Its asked me to get someone i know to fill in a form to say how I was in childhood and I have no one to ask. I told tjem and they said theres an alternative for adulthood but I still have no one to ask. They said i can use past reports. From school day's/professionals etc. But I don't have anything and its iblt recently I spoke to gp and that was just to sort a referral. I think the same will happen for the ADHD one as well so I'm probably not going to be able to get it done.

OP posts:
24Dogcuddler · 13/10/2026 14:13

Nobody at all you can take or ask? I’m sorry. A friend who had an adult diagnosis took her elderly aunt as her Mum had dementia.
The developmental history is important.
Have you done the AQ test? You will find it online. I’m sure you know presentation is usually different in women and girls.

Whyohwhy99 · 13/10/2026 14:36

24Dogcuddler · 13/10/2026 14:13

Nobody at all you can take or ask? I’m sorry. A friend who had an adult diagnosis took her elderly aunt as her Mum had dementia.
The developmental history is important.
Have you done the AQ test? You will find it online. I’m sure you know presentation is usually different in women and girls.

I have filled in all the forms self assessment types. There was about 8 forms with loads of tick box questions

I have no one at all.

OP posts:
Kellopse · 13/10/2026 14:36

In your situation then I would fill it in yourself as best you can, using your own memories and anything you might have been told about your early childhood.

I had nobody reliable to fill in a form like that. I did have school reports and a "baby book" my mum had filled in, and of course my memories.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Whyohwhy99 · 13/10/2026 14:53

Kellopse · 13/10/2026 14:36

In your situation then I would fill it in yourself as best you can, using your own memories and anything you might have been told about your early childhood.

I had nobody reliable to fill in a form like that. I did have school reports and a "baby book" my mum had filled in, and of course my memories.

It asks for all the persons information. Contact details etc. And they would tell from a mile its me filling it in.

OP posts:
UnbeatenMum · 13/10/2026 14:56

This shouldn't exclude you from the assessment. They may be able to use your own memories if you have nothing from that time. It helps if there is someone, but if there isn't then they should do the best they can.

GreyCarpet · 13/10/2026 15:03

Speak to them and ask what you can do in that situation.

When you say you have no one, I'm assuming from that that you have no paents or wider family members to ask? No siblings etc?

In which case, friends? A partner?

Because I would say that it is so unusual to have no one to ask that that would be an indicator on its own. I don't think you would be alone.

Cantstopeatingjaffacakes · 13/10/2026 15:05

I didn’t have anyone to do my childhood stuff so they used my memories and what I had been told about myself childhood.

Try calling them - the people who did mine were very understanding.

Whyohwhy99 · 13/10/2026 16:26

I asked them bluntly if it meant I can't do the assessment and they said this:

If there is genuinely no available informant and no alternative documentary evidence, it may not be possible for us to proceed with the assessment through our remote pathway.

OP posts:
GreyCarpet · 13/10/2026 16:36

So not not possible at all just not via the remote pathway?

So you can still do the assessment but via a different pathway.

KindlySurfiingPlatypus · 13/10/2026 16:39

You can still be assessed. There will be some places where they can't tick that a particular indicator has been lifelong but that won't necessarily stop you from getting a diagnosis depending on what other evidence there is.

A friend of mine's mum, who is is a bit batshit tbh, basically just lied (or was deluded) and answered that no there hadn't been any of behaviour xyz in childhood despite my friend having very clear memories of it happening and being disciplined for it, so having a parent participate isn't always beneficial.

In another circumstance I am familiar with, the mum of the adult who was seeking assessment was someone with quite precarious mental health who really didn't cope well with any kind of conversation that included any suggestion or implication that their offspring didn't have an idyllic childhood. Getting her to participate would have caused deeply distressing frictions in the family, so assessment went ahead without her input.

It's important to try to gather whatever evidence is available, but if evidence isn't available they will do their best with what can be gathered.

Whyohwhy99 · 13/10/2026 16:52

KindlySurfiingPlatypus · 13/10/2026 16:39

You can still be assessed. There will be some places where they can't tick that a particular indicator has been lifelong but that won't necessarily stop you from getting a diagnosis depending on what other evidence there is.

A friend of mine's mum, who is is a bit batshit tbh, basically just lied (or was deluded) and answered that no there hadn't been any of behaviour xyz in childhood despite my friend having very clear memories of it happening and being disciplined for it, so having a parent participate isn't always beneficial.

In another circumstance I am familiar with, the mum of the adult who was seeking assessment was someone with quite precarious mental health who really didn't cope well with any kind of conversation that included any suggestion or implication that their offspring didn't have an idyllic childhood. Getting her to participate would have caused deeply distressing frictions in the family, so assessment went ahead without her input.

It's important to try to gather whatever evidence is available, but if evidence isn't available they will do their best with what can be gathered.

I just wish it was all made clear before I filled in so many questions it was hard do all that just to be told it can't happen

I'm only on contact with 1 sibling occasionally. She didn't even know i went to a SEN school. And the one distant friend I have works with children with autism and keeps telling me my ds isn't autistic so I don't want to ask her just for her to say I'm talking shit.

OP posts:
Goofish · 13/10/2026 16:59

Keep what you have done. You might well be able to submit them, if not with the current people you are talking to then to someone else. What you have already written is evidence.

Are you on an NHS pathway, RTC or private?

IAmJaneDoe · 13/10/2026 17:01

Is this the right to choose pathway? I’ve been flamed before on here for saying this but I’ve seen people in support groups and also know a couple of people personally who have said they just lied and pretended to be a friend/aunt/sibling and filled the questionnaire in themselves, using a second email address and and spare sim card for the contact details, nobody checks or verifies or follows up.

My experience with psychiatry uk has really made me doubt my own diagnosis. I didn’t lie on my form but I also had nobody from childhood, I had a very very chaotic and abusive childhood and my assessor covered none of that, it felt very much like a conveyor belt. The whole thing lasted 40 mins and I was diagnosed with severe combined type by the end of it. If I try and speak about it I’m told to just be thankful I have the privilege of a diagnosis.

PearPeer · 13/10/2026 17:04

The trauma thing is a strange one as adults who've had traumatic events in childhood or abusive childhoods can often display similar behaviours to those indicating ADHD/Autism. So not necessarily helpful to get a diagnosis, to detail a lot of those.

I am with RTC. Been on the waiting list for 3 years now. My school reports were all lost in a flood in the cellar.I am debating taking my Mother to my appointment when it does arrive, because she doesn't believe ADHD is a thing. She does however back me up on things about how chaotic I was in childhood, always being locked out, always losing things etc.

Whyohwhy99 · 13/10/2026 17:14

Goofish · 13/10/2026 16:59

Keep what you have done. You might well be able to submit them, if not with the current people you are talking to then to someone else. What you have already written is evidence.

Are you on an NHS pathway, RTC or private?

I submitted all the answers they dont save. They gave me an appointment for Friday. But also pointed out that i hadn't had anyone fill in the somone who knew me as a child. I told them there was no one then they gave me an alternative of asking someone who knows me in adult hood or medical reports which I don't have.

Its with right to choose

OP posts:
GreyCarpet · 13/10/2026 17:31

I just wish it was all made clear before I filled in so many questions it was hard do all that just to be told it can't happen

They haven't told you that it can't happen, just that it "might not be possible" on the remote pathway.

Contact them again because they have given you some information but it is not the all the information you need because they havent told you what the alternative would be.

Does that make sense?

GreyCarpet · 13/10/2026 17:31

Does remote pathway mean that they wouldn't actually assess you in person?

Whyohwhy99 · 13/10/2026 17:37

GreyCarpet · 13/10/2026 17:31

I just wish it was all made clear before I filled in so many questions it was hard do all that just to be told it can't happen

They haven't told you that it can't happen, just that it "might not be possible" on the remote pathway.

Contact them again because they have given you some information but it is not the all the information you need because they havent told you what the alternative would be.

Does that make sense?

I think its face to face which I can't do. Its harley Street I can't go there.

OP posts:
SmallDFartyCarNRG · 13/10/2026 17:46

Whyohwhy99 · 13/10/2026 14:36

I have filled in all the forms self assessment types. There was about 8 forms with loads of tick box questions

I have no one at all.

Your school, college or Uni should have someone who can do a character reference for you and look through reports?

With dd I went with her and answered questions but the ADOS 2 and eye tracking assessment was clear enough without needing my experiences though.

I actually just googled it and it says:
How Clinicians Adjust the Assessment
If you do not have a reference, the clinician will rely heavily on alternative methods to gather the necessary developmental history:

  • Self-Report Questionnaires: You will complete detailed questionnaires (such as the AQ, RAADS-R, or CAT-Q) that allow you to deeply explain your internal experiences, sensory sensitivities, and masking behaviors.
  • In-Depth Clinical Interviews: The clinician will ask you specific questions about your early memories. They are trained to look for patterns in how you describe your school years, friendships, and early interests, even if you only have vague memories.
  • Reviewing Historical Records: If available, you can bring old report cards, school portraits, childhood medical files, or psychological evaluations. Comments from old teachers (e.g., "smart but struggles to mix with peers" or "prefers to play alone") serve as excellent objective evidence of your childhood.
  • Direct Clinical Observation: Tools like the ADOS-2 (Module 4 for adults) rely almost entirely on how you interact with the clinician in the room during the appointment, rather than what someone else says about you.
Whyohwhy99 · 13/10/2026 18:01

SmallDFartyCarNRG · 13/10/2026 17:46

Your school, college or Uni should have someone who can do a character reference for you and look through reports?

With dd I went with her and answered questions but the ADOS 2 and eye tracking assessment was clear enough without needing my experiences though.

I actually just googled it and it says:
How Clinicians Adjust the Assessment
If you do not have a reference, the clinician will rely heavily on alternative methods to gather the necessary developmental history:

  • Self-Report Questionnaires: You will complete detailed questionnaires (such as the AQ, RAADS-R, or CAT-Q) that allow you to deeply explain your internal experiences, sensory sensitivities, and masking behaviors.
  • In-Depth Clinical Interviews: The clinician will ask you specific questions about your early memories. They are trained to look for patterns in how you describe your school years, friendships, and early interests, even if you only have vague memories.
  • Reviewing Historical Records: If available, you can bring old report cards, school portraits, childhood medical files, or psychological evaluations. Comments from old teachers (e.g., "smart but struggles to mix with peers" or "prefers to play alone") serve as excellent objective evidence of your childhood.
  • Direct Clinical Observation: Tools like the ADOS-2 (Module 4 for adults) rely almost entirely on how you interact with the clinician in the room during the appointment, rather than what someone else says about you.
Edited

Unless the admin person has told le wrong they have told me it can't be done remotely. I have filled all the forms in that you mentioned.

OP posts:
LittleWeirdo · 13/10/2026 18:04

I’ve filled in the form for 2 people before and I’ve never been contacted about it.

Whyohwhy99 · 13/10/2026 18:08

LittleWeirdo · 13/10/2026 18:04

I’ve filled in the form for 2 people before and I’ve never been contacted about it.

I think it would stick out a mile if I done it myself.

OP posts:
Goofish · 13/10/2026 18:18

Ok hopefully you will find a way through with them, if not ask them for a transcript of the forms you submitted when you part company. It's your words, you get to keep them. (For next time I tend to keep a copy in a word doc with any big forms like this as I go.)

You do need to talk to them though and figure out next steps.

At least you are establishing this now rather than at the appointment. You might need to go back through GP and get a different RTC provider who can better meet your needs, eg one that you can get to for in person assessment.

I think you will be able to get there but you may need to adjust your route.

Smartiepants79 · 13/10/2026 18:22

Do have no colleagues to acquaintances who could fill in the sections about you in adulthood. No one you’ve known or worked with in the last few years. I’d do it for a colleague in the same situation.

Whyohwhy99 · 13/10/2026 19:07

Smartiepants79 · 13/10/2026 18:22

Do have no colleagues to acquaintances who could fill in the sections about you in adulthood. No one you’ve known or worked with in the last few years. I’d do it for a colleague in the same situation.

No i don't work. I didn't know ot would be so complicated. I thought it would be easier than a child's assessment.

OP posts: