Snapped at work and dreading going back on Monday

[CheeryGreenSquid]

I feel awful and I don't want to return to work on Monday. I work in a SEN school. In my class there is Teacher, Level 3 and Level 1 (and me). Level 1 is bossy and I mean EXTREMELY bossy, always an opinion, "We have decided..." things when the teacher has no idea (and disagrees) etc. I feel so useless as anytime there is anything in the class the Level 1 jumps straight in and either interferes or takes over and gets involved.
We have a very clingy child in our class, extremely clingy to Level 3 and 1 but mostly leaves me alone. I do try and get him off them but he rarely stays with me for any length of time. Level 1 said that Level 3 wanted a break and can I take him to taxi, absolutely no problem
I had him just before taxis, reading a book and put his shoes on when Level 3 came and asked me something, he then became extremely attached to her again, I tried (several times) to take him out and she said not to bother. I said I wasn't completely useless and I can take a child out. The teacher saw it all and told me to have a minute, she found me at 3.20, gave me a telling off and said I had been 15 mins (literally 5 mins!). I feel so useless. I have apologised several times to the Level 3 but she hasn't replied. It's been a hard month and I just snapped. I took my anger out on the wrong person. The Level 3 is frustrated by her too.

Told off or advised on the child’s behaviour support plan?

Who are you in the teacher level 3 and level 1 trio?

Why would you apologise?

I worked in a similar place to yours, and sometimes transitions can be really tricky.

They told you to do something and then told you “not to bother” with it. I would have reacted the same way.

It’s extremely hard working in SEND, and when you don’t have teamwork, it makes it even worse.

What level are you? How long have you worked there for?

Also Level 1 so I normally just do as I'm told by everyone! I do double check with the Level 3 and teacher though every time the Level 1 tells me to do something! I learnt that after the first few days!!

?
The Op had the child settled for the taxi. Level 3 should be disengaging from the child ( or not turning up at an important transition time).

She told me everyone saw my behaviour and I shouldn't behave like that (I wasn't badly behaved btw!), I was keen for them to have a break and for me to do my bit. I did apologise and I said I feel useless and she said I don't know how you feel.

But did you fart?

Level 1 and 3 years.

I was so frustrated, frustrated I had settled him and we were reading, frustrated he won't go with me. Just frustrated!! It's been a hard month but this last week has been very tricky, across the whole school and we've had different people and cover all week. I feel bad I snapped.

Did you feel judged by the level 3?

It sounds like something or nothing but some people are sensitive to tone of voice.
It was Friday afternoon, everyone was tired and I'm sure no one reacted perfectly.

Not overly, she is just as frustrated by the Level 3 as me and has been quite supportive with her behaviour which is why I'm frustrated. I took my anger out on the wrong person.

What’s your relationship like with the teacher usually?

I feel for the teacher tbh. Three support staff all sniping and whinging at one another

Normally good, she is a new teacher, new to teaching SEND and new to the school so we've been trying to help her.

This is the first time I have snapped in a month. I have aired my disagreements with the Level 3 privately and the Level 3 is very good at keeping a straight face. That's why she is a level 3 and I never will be (I don't want to be!)

I don’t know how people work in environments like this. It sounds horribly stressful and unpleasant.

I feel so ashamed myself for snapping.

So you snapping is a regular occurrence?

And you respect her as teacher? Think she’s good and generally respects you?

No, I rarely snap!

It sounds like your confidence is on the floor and it came to a head. I don’t think you did the worst thing in the world, the teacher had a quiet word with you. That should be it really and draw a line under it.
you sound exhausted and potentially being slightly bullied by the other level 1. This is horrible, I worked with someone like this, snidely little things to put you down that no one else sees, it’s exhausting.

I respect her. I think she respects us. It's literally been a month and that's not very long to get your head around things!

I am exhausted by it but normally let these things wash over me, maybe quietly vent to others but normally smile nicely and do as I'm told. Tiredness and frustration got to the better of me. I feel sick and ashamed.

This!
It sounds as if the team leader (Teacher,) isn't doing a very effective job of leading the team. The L3 caused a problem on this occasion I'm not surprised that you snapped. Stop apologising.