Snapped at work and dreading going back on Monday

[CheeryGreenSquid]

I feel awful and I don't want to return to work on Monday. I work in a SEN school. In my class there is Teacher, Level 3 and Level 1 (and me). Level 1 is bossy and I mean EXTREMELY bossy, always an opinion, "We have decided..." things when the teacher has no idea (and disagrees) etc. I feel so useless as anytime there is anything in the class the Level 1 jumps straight in and either interferes or takes over and gets involved.
We have a very clingy child in our class, extremely clingy to Level 3 and 1 but mostly leaves me alone. I do try and get him off them but he rarely stays with me for any length of time. Level 1 said that Level 3 wanted a break and can I take him to taxi, absolutely no problem
I had him just before taxis, reading a book and put his shoes on when Level 3 came and asked me something, he then became extremely attached to her again, I tried (several times) to take him out and she said not to bother. I said I wasn't completely useless and I can take a child out. The teacher saw it all and told me to have a minute, she found me at 3.20, gave me a telling off and said I had been 15 mins (literally 5 mins!). I feel so useless. I have apologised several times to the Level 3 but she hasn't replied. It's been a hard month and I just snapped. I took my anger out on the wrong person. The Level 3 is frustrated by her too.

Right so in that case - if she’s taken you aside and basically told you that you were behaving unprofessionally then you likely were

and you say first time
Snapped in a month. When previously?

The last time I snapped at work was when I was badly hurt by a child, I think that was April/May time.

Who did you snap at then?

My confidence I feel is very low at the moment. I've been feeling quite low lately due to various reasons. I know this isn't an excuse though.

It is not an excuse.

Are you on a work group chat with the other three? If so, send a brief message to apologise for last week, you recognise it wasn’t professional and it will not happen again. And mean it.

Go in on Monday and apologise to the person you snapped at and that will clear the air. Working in this type of environment is really tricky and it sounds like the team aren't working that well together. If the job is really making you feel bad, then start looking for other ones that might suit you more and have easier people to work with.

You didn’t fart did you?

Kindly, ou are magnifying this put of all proportion. You were doing your job well, the Level 3 came over and unhelpfully unsettled the child and you understandably got frustrated, but all you did (from what I can tell) is make one comment in a pissed off tone of voice.

The teacher has absolutely no right to "tell you off" - she's not God! I would never dream of "telling off" a TA colleague. If she has a genuine problem with your work she should speak to your LM - but if all that has happened is you said one sentence in a pissed off tone, she is being incredibly over dramatic about something and nothing.

If you are genuinely this upset/scared over having spoken one sentence, sounds to me like your workplace is very toxic. You should maybe start looking for alternative positions?

And as others have said, stop apologising. I am all for people who have genuinely done wrong saying sorry, but in this case all that was needed was a quick "sorry I snapped" - by repeatedly apologising you are playing in to the false narrative that your actions have been unforgivable. They haven't been.

The level 3 literally just walked in to the room, the child leapt off the Op and went to level 3.
level 3 said don’t worry I’ll deal with the child
and the Op snapped

yes… an apology is warranted. It was unprofessional at the least

Teachers don't get training on line managing difficult people and actually aren't usually their TA's line manager. They also aren't classed as a team leader in the way you think. You can have a teacher in a class who is on day 1 of teaching and a TA who has 30 years of experience in the same class so the lines are generally quite blurred. In fact 'proper' line management rarely happens in schools sadly.

I've been working for over 20 years and I've snapped at work once. That was in a situation about 8 years ago that was completely unacceptable. Snapping at work is unprofessional and should extremely rarely happen if it ever happens at all.