Should I end this ‘relationship’ in person ? Or is he just playing games and that’s not necessary ?

[Jellybean555]

I’ve been seeing this guy for a good 6 months +. We operate completely different. I believe his behaviour shows his lack of interest and he says I’m asking for too much and a difficult person. At this point I feel we should have some intention and he’s very like just go with the flow. Messages consistently some times then doesn’t at all. Lucky to get a call or an arrangement to meet up and when we do I will have to ask so “what time can you do” about 5 times. He sees it as difficult but I see it as I have things to do and can’t wait for him to drop a text at a random time requesting to see me. It’s very push and pull. One moment I think it’s casual and I’m like cool who cares and then he will say otherwise and it’s too confusing.

Either way it’s just not going to work as I find the dynamic super strange and a hassle now. Apparently to him I’m his girlfriend, but one we never spoke about it and I disagree against that happening because I’m lucky if I hear from him once in the day let alone get a call. I’ve said to him: let’s drop the act this isn’t a relationship. You’re not consistent with me. And he make me feel bad for seeing him as casual. But what’s the point we hardly speak, meet up and he’s defo not using me for sex and we don’t have it.

He takes it as I’m causing problems for asking how a relationship could possibly look like this and why he would consider me his girlfriend and act like that. To me this has been a very unserious situation but he says otherwise and that he has to some times ignore me because “I ask too many questions” But my questions would be “how come you said you was going to call and didn’t” or meet up and there will be no time set and I can’t get hold of him.

My question is: Am I supposed to have a sit down conversation and end it in person. Even though I don’t know what this situation is?

He’s not bothered
so don’t waste time arranging a get together end it over messaging
he will read, put down phone and crack on with his day unbothered

How old are you both? Sounds like a year 9 “relationship”

Definitely doesn’t need a sit down conversation! Just message him to say that while he calls you his girlfriend, you don’t feel like that and the difference in how you both view relationships should work means there is no future in it - so it’s time to end things. Wish him well and leave it at that.

It literally does. We are both 28

I’ve seen it as casual let’s just meet up and do something fun. But according to him he’s serious and etc so I feel bad. But when I try to get some sort of understanding how he could think that and the situation ship looks like this. He will say I’m causing trouble

This. The sooner the better.

Why would you want a relationship with someone who calls you difficult

Don't bother, I wasted 20 years on a 'relationship' like that....

What “literally does”?

Have higher standard. Seriously this sounds like something in the playground

“I’ve seen it as casual”

but if you’re honest - you’d like very much more?

I'd cut your losses and move on. Whatever is going on with him, it strikes me as weird that he describes you as "difficult and asking for too much" but wants you to be his grilfriend.

These early days are supposed to be exciting and fun, not laborious and confusing. You definitely do not owe him a sit-down conversation.

@Nottulip at first I wanted more but as we got to know eachother more I was like let’s just meet up and do fun things nothing serious. But it’s not that anymore either so I can’t be bothered. Which is why I’m deciding how to finish it

In the time taken to do this Op you could have sent him a message

get on with your day.

oh and block him to avoid a booty call

I don’t think you need a sit down conversation but you do need to let him know by text or something that you’re ending things (whatever ‘things’ are) rather than just drifting away. He seems the sort that might need that spelling out for him.

Just message him to say the relationship hasn't worked out for you and you have decided to let him know. So all the best for the future, bye.

Surely I’m making an enemy by doing that?

I want it done but no hard feelings when we see eachother. The environment we live in is small we defo gonna have to speak in normal life on passing

An enemy? God this is sounding more and more like school drama

@Nottulip if you just block someone is that not causing tension when you next see them ?

Ok so don’t block him 🤷‍♀️

Just don’t be tempted to go running

I didn't get past "he thinks I'm a difficult person". You can't have a relationship with anybody who thinks that!

It doesn't matter what HE sees it as or what HE says it is. He's a waste of your time. Tell him it's not working for you, wish him well, block him. Judge him by his actions. He's not into you. He couldn't make it any more obvious.

I don’t understand blocking unless someone pesters you after you end something.

If is incredibly disrespectful.

Just say it’s over and leave it there. If he wants closure either via a few messages or one last meet up, let him have it.

If he persists after that, then blocking can be done.

He has behaved pretty disrespectfully to the Op

it is often suggested because it looks likely the OP will waiver and if there’s a last night boot call - go running

How about something generic, then? Keep it simple - 'I've enjoyed our time but I'm looking for something different in a relationship'.

Don't complain, don't explain, focus on the outcome you want.

This.

The most crucial component of a relationship is shared values. It’s quite clear you don’t have this with this man and it shows in the way he communicates (or doesn’t) and over time it’ll come out in a hundred other ways. You just aren’t in tune. And that’s fine. That’s what the first few months of dating are about - finding out if you are compatible.

Just text to say that this isn’t working for you, you’re not in the same space on relationships so no hard feelings but you’ll see him around, no doubt.

And just leave it there.

If he thinks you're 'difficult' he's not really going to miss you, is he?

Just a polite text to say that the relationship isn't working for you and you're going to call it a day. Wish him well, and then that's it. You don't need to be rude or offhand, but you DO need to be definite.

That way there's no bad feelings, just a relationship that you tried but wasn't right. Nobody, however small their environment might be, has to stay with someone who isn't right for them.