Adult son and wife have significant debt and I am worried

[Housecoat1]

Hi everyone,

my adult son (30) and his wife have money issues and I’m so worried. They have professional jobs and a good income however they’ve fallen into credit card and loan debt.

I’ve now learned that they owe £47k in Loans and credit cards. I just can’t believe that can be true? How is that even possible?

Have they said what the loans were for? It doesn’t sound unrealistic

Chill, debt isn't necessarily a disaster, depends on whether its manageable or not.
It's incredibly easy to get into debt, sometimes people have to learn from their mistakes (if the debt is unplanned).

Tricky to say given the lack of detail, if their combined income is £50k then its an issue, combined income of £150k then probably not an insurmountable issue

Well, what’s it for? I’ve heard of worse. But it depends on their salaries. What is a professional job? A lawyer on 150k or a teacher on 35k?

How did you find this out? Have they asked you for money?

Dp owed this much at one point. His parents bailed him out. He was bloody lucky that was an option. He’s never got into debt again. His then wife had cancer, endured very difficult treatment and never went back to a regular job, and I think he found it difficult to say no to anyone in the family at that time. As soon as you start putting things on credit cards or using an overdraft, or decide to take out a loan, things are at very high risk of spiralling out of control. If his parents hadn’t been in a position to pay off his debt, I guess he would eventually have gone bankrupt. That’s what happened to my dad, and thank goodness for it as after that my mum finally took on the finances.

It’s actually pretty easy to reach a point where you owe that much in unsecured debt. The question in my mind is, what are they saying about it? Are they horrified and desperate, or ‘meh’?

Point them towards Step Change. If you can help them, I’d consider it personally, but only if you were pretty sure that they are changing their habits. And don’t put yourself into debt to do it.

Have they asked you for help? Unless you can easily write the money off and accept that they might run up debt again, do not give them any money.

How has the debt come about? Overspending? Home improvements going over budget? High essential costs eg childcare, mortgage etc?

How serious the situation is and the best course of action for them depends on many factors, such as whether they already own their home, whether they're willing to live on a restricted budget until it's paid off, can they increase their income, and other factors. But no-one can say what's best without a full assessment of their finances:

Free debt advice: what to do & where to get help - MSE