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Adult son and wife have significant debt and I am worried

57 replies

Housecoat1 · 21/09/2026 22:36

Hi everyone,

my adult son (30) and his wife have money issues and I’m so worried. They have professional jobs and a good income however they’ve fallen into credit card and loan debt.

I’ve now learned that they owe £47k in Loans and credit cards. I just can’t believe that can be true? How is that even possible?

OP posts:
luckylavender · 22/09/2026 16:40

ToKittyornottoKitty · 21/09/2026 22:38

Have they said what the loans were for? It doesn’t sound unrealistic

What a ridiculous comment

MajorProcrastination · 22/09/2026 16:45

As others have said, there's a fair bit of context missing here.

It's easy to accrue a chunky debt with e.g. essential house repairs which are unexpected and not covered by insurance or a specific loan taken out for e.g. loft conversion/extension/new kitchen. These feel scary to me but they're not that crazy, especially when the works could be adding on to the resale value of your home, or just making it more suitable for your needs (that's what we're currently doing).

It's more worrying I think if it's just built up bit by bit over time because that would suggest they're living beyond their means, not budgeting realistically etc.

My DH's always been debt averse as he's not got generational wealth, he knows there's no safety net of the bank of mum & dad, when we've borrowed or bought something on credit (e.g. a sofa), the repayments are always affordable and the thing we've bought has been good value for money.

I've still ended up with credit card debt over the years but it's always at a level where I'm affording the repayments, I've moved them over to 0% cards, minimised the interest, played the game, all that. I think it would be very easy for it to escalate if you said yes to every credit card that offered, or used store credit.

I sometimes buy stuff from Next but I'm always on top of it - like my balance is at £5 at the moment. I can see how some people could easily see "available to spend" as free money. I've just checked my account and I've got a £3750 credit limit on Next which is CRAZY!!! I've never ever spent that much.

Anyway - get them to talk with Step Change, there are other organisations too. I follow some good debt related people on instagram who are very open and honest about how they've tackled their debt.

Finally, it's a good thing that you know, that they've told someone. I've assumed it's because they know it's a problem.

bababamama · 22/09/2026 16:51

Depends what on, two car loans, a loan to renovate their home? Or overspending on smaller purchases, holidays, lifestyle? Of the latter they need to get on top of it urgently, if the former they need to make the loan repayments and work on paying off the credit cards

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ShanghaiDiva · 22/09/2026 16:54

Catroo · 22/09/2026 15:05

I think the self righteous posts are showing how old fashioned/out of date a lot of people are.
The mindset that any debt outside of a mortgage is bad, is as irresponsible as uncontrolled spending. Both show poor financial management.

There are lots of sensible reasons why a couple could be in £50k of secured debt.

I've always had debt, initially 0% on CC to pay for every day spending because of an exceptionally attractive uncapped work pension scheme 20yrs ago.
Then a low interest loan to improve my deposit on my first house purchase. The difference between the loan interest and the mortgage % secured meant i was significantly better off.
At the moment I have over £70k of debt, all invested in various avenues that are delivering far more than the balance transfer fees.

Its hilarious how blasé people are over a £300k 25yr mortgage but £30k of unsecured debt is the end of the world.

Op has provided little context, frivolous spending on luxury items= issue and poor money management
Considered financial planning = good on them

from the opening post it doesn’t sound like considered financial planning.
I’ve used credits card offers eg received £600 in vouchers and no annual fee from Amex, but no loans and no mortgage.

Boomer55 · 22/09/2026 16:55

The debt isn’t the problem (although I wouldn’t want it). It’s if they can repay it, comfortably, which is the issue.

Coconutter24 · 22/09/2026 17:35

Why have they told you are they asking for help or just talking about it? Are they worried about it or are they managing repayments each month?

Humanshurtmyhead · 22/09/2026 19:15

If it was on something like cars to get them to work or house repairs then thats relatively understandable but I'm guessing it wasn't if you've posted about it? Could you sit down and plan with them if theyre open to it? Depending on the circumstances they could be debt free within a couple of years if they knuckle down.

A few ideas:

  1. They could both get a second job (part time) e.g. bar work.
  2. They could rent a room out if they have a spare.
  3. They could sell a car and use public transport.
  4. They could sell things online e.g. vinted for some of their clothes.
  5. They could cut back on subscriptions and budget for bills, food etc.
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