Should an unpaid family loan be deducted from my brother's inheritance?

[Triflemuncher]

Hi everyone.

Mum passed away semi- unexpectedly. A horrible sad time for us all.

my brother and I have started the process of unpicking her finances. About a year before mum died she lent my brother 10k. At the time of her death there was about £8k left to pay. There was no written loan agreement which I can understand to some degree.

my view is the 8k remaining debt needs to be deducted from brothers share of mums estate. He disagrees and thinks that it was an Informal arrangement between him and mum with no terms and conditions, or any link to her estate.

Where do we stand on this? Is there anything I can do or is this £8k just written off?

I’m still here! Sorry had a nap!!! So we are the only 2 executors and we are due to receive about £150k each

I genuinely don’t think this is how most people would feel. A huge issue in family ill will is financial favouritism.

If there is no record of the terms of the loan then i dont think OP's brother can be forced to pay it to the estate. Morally speaking I can see why OP thinks it should be paid but legally it can't be enforced without records. Afaik.

What’s your relationship like with your brother?

150 k ezxh personally id let the loan go

You’d get an extra £4k on top of your £150k

Even if there is no loan agreement it is legally classed as a a soft loan and will need to be repaid to the estate or deducted from any beneficiary.

There will be transaction history from your mums bank account and repayment history from your brothers bank accounts to corroborate the soft loan

As executors of the estate you will list all assets and all liabilities.
There are £300k assets and £8k liabilities
Total = £308k
Thus you will receive £154k, your brother will receive £146k

Legally he has to either repay the debt or have the amount deducted from his share of the estate.
Any solicitor will confirm this

Nonsense. OP please ignore this. If the repayments made can be evidenced - bank transfers etc - then the loan needs to be repaid to the estate. It can be deducted from his share but it is a debt owed to the estate.

That’s not how the laws work though. Imagine you had 2 DC and lent one DC £50K to help them buy a house leaving you with £20K, which they had started to pay back. You then die and the debt is down to £48K and after paying for your funeral there’s £15K left to split between your DC. The DC both get £7.5, which is nowhere near enough for Dc2 to help buy a house.
DC1 has benefitted to the tune of £57.5K whilst Dc2 gets £7.5k.
Explain to me how this is fair?

do you have proof of the loan?

Unless she had £10K in notes stuffed under the mattress and he repaid her in cash, then there will be clear records via her bank account.

You're quite right, apologies - I was focused on the moral failure of the brother!

If it's clear he's repaid some of it, it shows that he accepted it should be repaidcat some point. If a solicitor is dealing with the estate, talk to them about it. If not, tell your brother, you want a solicitor to ask in the estate.

F

Morally your brother should acknowledge this even if legally there is no agreement

Morally yes he should “pay it back” but he won’t you can’t make him. You need to decide if your relationship with your brother is worth the fall out

You’re receiving a hell of a lot of money. Let it go! Don’t destroy your relationship.

I don’t know why so many people think you should write it off to maintain good relations.

Maybe HE should pay it back/deduct it from his inheritance to maintain good relations.

His reasoning is flimsy - if your mum hadn’t passed away he would have had to continue paying it back (or should have - who knows now what he would have done!) so to say it was informal etc is pretty weak reasoning and I’d be looking at him differently

I’m very sorry for your loss. My mother died recently, so I understand all the swirling emotions. I’m watching my siblings fall out over things that really don’t matter, and it’s just a way to direct their emotions: which naturally include anger. But the end result is that things are said that can never be unsaid and will never be forgotten.
This is a difference of opinion, and in the end it’s the difference of 4K to either of you. You can both decide it’s not actually about the 4K, it’s about the principle, and become angrier and angrier. Or you can decide that keeping a good relationship with your only sibling is worth a lot more than 4K. They are now the only person who will share many of your child hood memories, don’t lose that connection for the sake of a “principle” that may actually just be a way of trying to process overwhelming emotions. Be the bigger person: not for him but for yourself.

A verbal contract is as binding as a written one legally. There should be bank records of the amount being paid to brother and it sounds like he has made repayments which will all help evidence the loan.

Me and my DB had a similar situation, when our DM died I owed her £3k and I absolutely said I would take that off my inheritence (only me and DB to inherit). Our money was much less than yours OP, around £50k split in half. Whilst I think it's morally the right thing for your DB to pay the loan back, when your talking about inheriting £150k I would let it go.

Whatever happens, your brother is a selfish dickhead. I'd not want to be in touch with him after this.

Lovely. Just what their mother would have wanted

Of course not but she's dead now. And her son is a horrible person. Who does that?? Why should her daughter have to put up with him.

My honest answer?

I can’t be arsed! Episode 1 season 6 of slow horses….
sorry