Any only child parents who do not feel guilty about it?

[HulkHogansHair]

Any only child parents who feel no guilt about their child having no siblings ? Ive got one child and dont want anymore and im too old anyway! However all I see is guilt from 1 child mums. Is that a major thing ? I feel more guilty hes got a crap dad.

It's an observation - my friend with the insular daughter regrets having just one child because her daughter has never had any partner and so my friend thinks that she won't have any grandchildren, but obviously there's no guarantee that she would have anyway - and she may do yet. Re the older, only ones (one is my cousin and two are family friends), they had fabulous childhoods and were very close to their parents, had some friends, worked etc but were very much in a bubble of three at home - they have all remained in the parental homes, never married/lived with anyone and talk about their childhoods a lot.
FWIW, having siblings is no guarantee that they'll help with ageing parents as I know myself.

No guilt here
We tried for #2 for a long time. I had a miscarriage which devastated me. By the time I felt sufficiently recovered to try again dc was 7 and the age gap wouldn't have felt right. There have been numerous occasions over the subsequent decade when I have had cause to be thankful because some difficult thing we have survived or brilliant thing we have achieved would have turned out a lot less well if we'd had 2.

@LaRosbif “they had fabulous childhoods and were very close to their parents, had some friends, worked etc but were very much in a bubble of three at home”

But that is not how a healthy family with one or any number of DC lives.

We do not have only DC to live in a bubble, rejecting the outside world and that way of living does not suggest a ‘fantastic childhood’.

How can a fantastic childhood be had by any DC if they are not socialised with other DC, be they relatives like cousins and friends.

No wonder these adults you mention have not been able to have enduring relationships. It’s very sad.

I have a single child and feel precisely no guilt whatsoever. I just don’t want any more children. My husband would have liked another - but that is mainly because it’s “what people do”. The vast majority of the heavy lift - especially in early years - would fall to me, so it was a no. We also have no family support.

I am an only child myself - my one concern is caring for my ageing parents alone (which I can see will soon become an issue). However, I hear plenty of stories of one sibling being lumbered with much or all of it in any event.

What I will say is that only children do tend to have some common characteristics - my husband has surrounded himself with only children (both his wife and his best pal) and he observes some common ground: we’re both very single minded and this can definitely tip into self-centredness.

Zero guilt here. But I've also never experienced anyone trying to guilt me about it, either.

I couldn't deal with sibling arguments. I have one sibling and they're very very mean, even now in our 50s. Continents divide us and I'm happy with that.

DS has a whole bunch of sibling-free friends and us, as parents, have known each other for 10+ years, like a giant family. It's great.

I had DD over 30 years ago. In all the years since, I have never felt either guilt nor regret about never having another.

Not really. I have a lot of siblings and I don’t like any of them.
I know lots of people who have a sibling (usually male) who they can’t stand. My BIL has been a constant pain in our behinds for 30 years. Him and DH are not similar in any way, which is fine, but he seems to think he’s in charge somehow as he is older.
My friend had a large family and they are really close and I am jealous, but I know more than anyone thats not guaranteed.

I am over the moon at being a mother of one. I was bullied badly by my sibling when I was younger and it scarred me. I feel no guilt, the kid gets everything they need in spades.