Any only child parents who do not feel guilty about it?

[HulkHogansHair]

Any only child parents who feel no guilt about their child having no siblings ? Ive got one child and dont want anymore and im too old anyway! However all I see is guilt from 1 child mums. Is that a major thing ? I feel more guilty hes got a crap dad.

Who on earth are these people that you know? I am an only child and my parents have absolutely no guilt. Is this so-called guilt hiding something deeper? Is your partner not a good father? If so, then you have other issues to worry about. Don't bring another child into the mix and don't waste these precious moments with your child in guilt and regret.

This was me until 2 years ago. Had one, was very happy (as was DD) and didn't plan on any others. She had lovely friends and similar aged cousins - never asked about siblings or seemed bothered either way.

Had a suprise pregnancy 2 years ago. I love my baby dearly but am absolutely exhausted, far skinter and far too old for this 😂

I feel sad about it because I'd have liked more but wasn't able. So I don't feel guilty, because the choice was out of my hands. DC doesn't seem bothered.

Also, I think it's probably for the best. DC and I do so much fun stuff together! And I didn't have a good relationship with my sibling growing up at all.

Fuck no. I’m delighted I only have 1!

Just one for me and it never occurred to me to feel guilty. I was an only myself.

I don’t think anyone should feel guilt for having only one child . Children are expensive . You could give birth to a disabled baby . Your second child could be despised by his/her older sibling .
There are far too many variables to beat yourself up up about .
My DD has only one child .DD had a ruptured appendix as a teenager and the internal damage was so bad that she was told that she would be unlikely to have any children . By some miracle she had a baby in her 30s but only the one . She doesn’t and shouldn’t feel guilt over this .

No guilt but DH was an only child and I have a huge age gap to my sister so we kind of were single children as well.

I suffered badly from PND so it was a no-brainer. We also were on the other side of mid-thirty and I didn't want to be an even older mum.

We have a great live, DD got so much opportunities because we have the money.

Also, she is AuDHD, I am sure another child would have been difficult with her needing so much support.

Ive got 3 and feel no guilt!

Interesting responses. I can’t see why anyone would feel or admit to feeling any guilt for having one child, however I do have a couple of friends who regret having just one child. As the parents age, they regret that the only child has to face their ageing and deaths alone. Another friend’s child is in her 40’s, very insular, never had a partner and seems unlikely to marry and/or have children herself and my friend feels very sad about that and now feels that her only child may have benefitted from a sibling.
I also know three older only ‘children’ in their 50’s, 60’s and 70’s and all seen quite stuck in the past, remembering good times with their deceased parents, they live alone and have never married or had children.

Me. Neither DH nor I are overly fond of our siblings...

We love just having one. The parent ratio is great. We were always available and love not having to spread ourselves thin. He is now 20 and loves being a singleton. He always had friends and we were able to afford what he needed and extras. Best number is always 1.

Absolutely not. Was on the fence about having any as I was the wrong side of 35, thought we would try for one, and decided after pregnancy and recovery that I definitely didn’t want another.

No guilt at all, I found out I was neurodivergent when DC was 2.5 which confirmed to me that I am the best version of me as a parent with just one child. I can focus and give my DC the best I can afford of everything without feeling that I have to provide the same for a siblings. And I’m not run ragged all the time because my partner and I can share the load.

it does mean I want to to foster her friendships and relationships with her extended family though, so she had good support as she moves through life.

I have a sibling and for a variety of reasons I am no contact with them or my adult nieces.

Family doesn't mean you have support.

I have lovely friends who are closer to me than my sibling ever was.

I have loved being an only child all my life and I’m 54 now….i was shrewd enough to realise from a very young age that as a small family we could do more together, have more treats and generally have loads more of my parents time and attention….and to this day I’m a totally daddies girl so I think I would have felt terrible jealousy….i am very outgoing as I had to go and make friends and have a wonderful group of friends who I’ve known and loved for decades now….and my parents weren’t remotely bothered by it either as my mum was much older than my dad , so they counted their blessings….x

No and feeling guilty about it has never crossed my mind.

No guilt from me either. Infertility was the reason for my one and only miracle child.

And you’re relating all this to not having had siblings?

I’d feel guilty if I had more than one.

my adult dd is an only and I’m an only. Why on earth would anyone want more than one?

Nope, no guilt whatsoever - there are both costs & benefits to having or not having siblings - to the child and the parent(s)!

No guilt, like PPs have said, DS has plenty of friends and a life we couldn’t have afforded if we had more children.

I am planning early retirement and I am hoping having the one means i wont be spending that looking after grandchildren…

No guilt at all. If I had had any more, our lives would have been much harder, much smaller, and he would have had much less.

I'm an only and chose being an only for my son as I would have hated to have a sibling so didn't want to burden him with that either.
As he turned out to need home educating it has been a blessing every day that we could fully customise the day around his requirements without trying to compromise between contradictory needs of two children all the time and making both lose out.

Just to add, I see in real life and online so many women who have more children than they can realistically give what they need financially and emotionally, and I see it draining these women of their life force. They give and they give to their children and by extension to their male partners, and I don't believe it's really the best thing for anyone, although societal pressure is extraordinarily strong. I do genuinely believe that women who have choose to have no children or only one child are subversive. I think it's a pretty powerful statement of autonomy over ourselves as independent beings not just mothers. That may seem as if I'm disparaging women who have several children, and that's really not my intention. We are all subject to social conditioning and social pressure, but it's my firm belief that most women would be happier and more fulfilled if they stuck to one or maybe two children at the very most.

Me! my son turns 11 soon, no guilt. Didn't have more mostly due to medical reasons, but the life we can give him is far better then we could if we had more, so also financial reasons.

Me! I can’t give the quality of life I want (financially, emotionally, practically) to more than one child. We could afford a second easily if we were willing to compromise, but we don’t want to. Everyone in our house is happier for having less financial stress, more time and some amazing family experiences.

I have a sibling myself and spent my whole life wishing I was an only child. I don’t have any positive memories of him, and having to negotiate everything with him when my parents are ageing and pass away will make things harder practically and emotionally than doing it alone.