Is it horrible to make ds walk

[Whyohwhy99]

Am I horrible making ds walk for 40 mins to and from school because I want to avoid the bus?

@Whyohwhy99did you apply for home to school transport, was the request turned down? Is this really something you can commit to for up to five years? all weathers, whether anyone is unwell or tired?

What does that have to do with him being unable to walk 1.8 miles to school assisted? The parent doesn't feel he can't walk that far for any reason. The fact it's a journey to an SEN school isn't really relevant if the parent doesn't feel the distance is an issue because if his SEN. It's not like he's being asked to walk it by himself.

@Whyohwhy99 I do wonder why you've asked this question? If your DS is happy to walk, and you prefer to walk, and neither of you have a physical problem which makes walking difficult, there's no problem with walking.

I'm wondering if your recent awareness of your difficulties and your doctor's trip is making you analyse your behaviour more? Most people take avoidant action to limit stressful activities in some way or another - not many would choose to do their shopping when the shops are crowded, or take the route home from work that has huge traffic jams if there is an alternative. Many people commute to work by train because they can get some work done instead of sitting on a motorway.

You don't need to justify your decision making in light of possible neuro divergence. Even if the you are autistic or have ADHD, social anxiety, or all three, it's ok to do things that make you more comfortable if they aren't causing detriment to other people.

It would have to be more than 3 miles away. This isnt even 2 miles away

I used to walk to school with my older, by one term, friend from age 5. It was very common. Much less traffic though.

By secondary it was carrying PE kit, violin, (remember free lessons?) cookery basket, records borrowed from the music department, library books, etc. I lived quite close thankfully. But the catchment was larger.

My asd ( mainstream though) kid walked from 11 across town all the books everyday plus PE kit. Then covid hit and he only had to walk to his dad's until he moved further away and he walked further. He also walked to.town and back for his club in the evenings. I remember accompanying him to keep him safe. Now he takes me as my security! (Nearly 6 foot built like a brick shit house)

You will be able to teach him lots of road safety and street awareness that many kids don't have.

Even for an SEN school , presumably named on EHCP?

I haven't, I actually didn't know you can see other threads op posted on mumsnet. I see now op is the I don't want to let the gas man in poster.

From her threads it's clear to me op is ND, because it's like reading about myself, but of course people will call me an armchair psychologist...

Its a little different with sen school. It depends on his ability. I don't think ds needs are high enough though.

He would have to be unable to walk or travel without transport being provided in order to access this. He isnt unable to walk and he is capable of using the bus if mum is with him.

Over time of course he will be travelling independently once he has learnt the skills and can either get the bus on his own or walk on his own

SEN transport is bankrupting councils and posts like those above, which just blanketly suggest SEN transport should be put in, without giving heed to the child's actual abilities and needs are really irresponsible.

Yep, I know the criteria, as its less than 3 miles away and he can clearly travel without SEN transport he doesnt meet the criteria.

I didn't really know he was ok with it until this morning. I still don't know if he's ok with it everyday.

It could be that I guess. Maybe mixed with other stuff. And a few things at once. Thinking things questioning things. Then i feel like everything is to much to quickly and then i panic and want to back off. I try and explain things but I feel like I'm geing tugged everywhere.

I’m a lot better at the moment thank you. I have ups and downs.

When people have mentioned, autism, adhd, social anxiety. I take it as a suggestion not a diagnosis. If people hadn't suggested it i would never have gone to the GP and I wouldn't have started the ball rolling.

The thing is, for certain groups within the autistic ADHD population, social anxiety is an inevitability, not a separate diagnosis. There are autistic people who have such a deficit in social functioning that they don't recognise that they are 'different' or that their inability to function socially is a problem. In a lot of ways, they are either happier because they can just move through the crowds, or avoid them. People who are aware enough to know that they are 'different' and sense that their social functioning is just slightly out of step experience the anxiety that comes with knowing that there's something not quite right but they can't do anything about it.

I speak only of my own perception, having met many autistic people from different ability groups and having 3 very different girls with autism/ADHD, plus having ASD/ADHD myself, and having a DH with ASD/ADHD.

Walking is great for anxiety!

Yes, medication can support this, as can social training. Also being very healthy, fit and active, it all supports the holistic overview of the person.

It depends why, obviously as you need to say why,

Do you have to walk can you cycle, half the journey time. My son is autistic, cycling is great for sensory calming/stimulation before and after school for you and him. Also you may be entitled to transport but have to argue your reasons, took me a long time to get ours.

Nope! My son walks to ans from school by himself (15) started at 13. It’s an hour each way. He loves it. Declines a lift when offered usually too!

They really, really don't.

No. Not at all. My son had a 20 minute walk followed by a 20 min train journey. Didn’t do him any harm.

Yes!

Could you cycle together to make the journey time shorter?

Walking will be hard in wet weather and difficult in slippery, icy weather (and cycling won't be much better then).

Can somebody else take him by bus / car? Can you do minicabs?

I think you need non-walking options for terrible weather.

No i have no road sense. Walking fine. On the actual road no way its the reason i can't drive. I would cause an accident. Ds would only be able to go on the path.

People act like kids can’t possibly walk anywhere these days.