Weekly pocket money and expected chores for a nearly 16-year-old son?

[ZaZaBa]

What’s the going weekly rate for pocket money for a nearly 16 year old son.
What is expected of them to earn this amount and what do they generally use it for?

My son atm just gets money from us ( within reason) when he needs stuff and when he goes out, however has no concept of the value of money and just realised he is quite privileged and just demands stuff all the time( I know this is our fault and want to change this)

He doesn’t do any chores and just seems to think he doesn’t need to. I explain we are all living in same family and he needs to help out . And tht often we have to do stuff we don’t feel like doing- fact of life. He will then stack a dishwasher once and thinks he should get £5 for this which obviously we refuse

Daily arguments atm about how his friends get treated soooo much better than him, have more stuff etc but he never goes without anything. Every meal time seems to end in an argument.

You are not a hard mother. Your DCs will come out into the World ready and able to cope. They will not expect people to pander to their everyday needs. Well done, you are a real and proper parent. Your DCs will love you for all you have done to educate them.

Thank you for that, I love my weans but I see whats happening these days, how they are all (well not all) acting up and being quite horrible to the parents, by god if I even done that in the 80s i would of been burst! The 2 of them together made bacon rolls for breakfast this morning, cleaned down the kitchen and sorted the dishwasher and emptied it for me. Dont get me wrong though, they certainly have moments, but I want them to grow up to be respectful and able to cope. Honestly, thank you for that ❤️

God this thread is eye opening.

16 year old DS gets £45 a week. I pay for phone bill, gym and clothes. He is terrible with money, can’t save, forever asking for more.

Not linked to chores which in hindsight is a mistake. I wish I had. Because getting him to do absolutely anything is a massive argument. He’s incredibly lazy.

This is result of soft parenting from the get go. Let it be a lesson to all parents: Start how you mean to go on! Toddlers would love to help empty the washing machine when it's finished (safety lock working), washing potatoes (ooh the fun), washing up plastic (the bubbles) etc. Then there is helping Daddy or Mummy lay the table. I know it can take more time at first. Mine liked to play Ghosts when stripping the beds, tossing towels down the stairs and sliding on them. All lots of fun along with throwing the toys into the box at the end of the day. I know most parents work and the DCs go to nursery but there can be fun in the home as well.

Growing up, I didn't get money for doing chores. I was expected to clean my room and do my own washing, with some washing up on top and cleaning the bath after every use!
I had to pay for my mobile phone and any usage of the house telephone.
I think I was given £20 a month (mid 90s).

I did however have two part time jobs because I wanted to go out with my friends and buy clothes and to do that I needed money.

My dc16 gets £20pw. Dishwasher unloaded, restacked and set off once daily, plus does his own weekly laundry for that wage. I don't feel we are particularly generous however I pay his phone and gym on top so its take it or leave it I'm afraid! That's his "spends". When he needs proper things eg clothes for a family event, or college, we'll buy those.

You got a lovely DS OP.

I stopped at " lots of women expect our kids to do chores ". Eh no! Not in my house, we ALL muck in, husband too. It was the way we were brought up (quite thankful for that). Setting the kids up to know how to do little things isn't a bad thing. Its not the Brady bunch here by all means, we, husband and myself do most jobs, but the kids help out too. If I have a load of washing out dry, they check and bring it in without asking, surely thats not a bad thing? Then we fold it together and sort it.

Oh gosh….dont look on my thread….the consensus is that you shouldn’t pay them for doing chores 😳

Your numbers don't really add up. If you were giving her £10 a week and plan to up it to £60 a month that is only £3.84 difference a week. If the £10 paid for bus and the odd drink or lipgloss how do you imagine that less than £4 extra week will cover, clothes, socialising etc?

Sounds like a real good son👍

DS 16 gets £25 a month. He's expected to water all the plants every evening, put a wash on and hang it up twice a week. Help with the table/food/dishwasher when asked to and he and DC2 are expected to keep the bathroom clean. He is expected to keep his room clean and tidy and take the bins out when asked.
In the holidays, he'll be expected to help deep clean and do the windows etc.

That’s your privilege talking. I can’t think of a generation in my family that hasn’t had a job at 14. Lucky for me I was still at school so just had a part-time job from 14 and 9 months (the minimum age where I was living)- most before me were working full-time from around that age.

My own work supported me through medical school. I found a very very clear difference between those who had worked to support themselves and those who had not when we all started in the hospital. Very marked

19yr old ,5 yrs ago used to get £10 a wk washing up ,then got a pot washing job in a pub,did gardening for people and had a paper round. My 17yr old then took over the washing up ,then the paper round and got a Saturday job .He said he didn't need "pocket money" from me but still washes up.Paid for his own phone (my offering wasn't what he wanted) and his own gym membership.Apprenticeship at 16,saved heavily and has bought his 1st car himself. Lone parent,they're well supported by me but i'm of the mindset that I won't just give them a fish,I teach them to fish

Mine get 1 euro per year of age - but TBH, we live rurally, and they don't really need anything, so it's just stacking up in a savings account (which is fine) and they buy the occasional computer game with it in the holidays (not virtual goods - I disapprove of that so it wouldn't occur to them to buy fornite skins or whatever)

Chore's wise, I expect them to cook dinner for themselves/all of us if I ask because I'm knackered. I expect him to bring down his own washing and put it on (then one of us will move it to the tumbler, and I'll generally be the one to iron/fold/return - but he's dyspraxic and ironing isn't safe for him yet anyway).

He'll do the dishwasher sometimes, clear away plates/put his own stuff in the dishwasher - just basically be a functional member of the household, not anything 'officially assigned'

Oh! I did put a list of jobs that I'd pay extra for (I was looking at getting a cleaner, and said I'd offer it to the boys for extra money first) on Revolut. Youngest took one look at the rates (I pitched it at the living wage level - things like empty and clean the fridge/larder/freezer, Fold the washing, clean the windows inside etc.) and decided it wasn't worth the effort for the money :( I told him working life is going to be a shock then..

Mine probably gets the same because I dont keep track of it! He does clean his room when strong armed into it and looks after the dog loads. He is looking for a part time job but they are like gold dust! Hes also a lazy bones.

We pay for hair cuts, gym and phone.

Im doing a new budget today so Im going to give him a set amount and see if it helps him manage better. Hes got ADHD so money runs through his fingers like water!

Mine get £60 a month to pay for:
Clothes (apart from shoes and coats) - they now quite often get clothes for their birthdays, but vinted is their friend.
Half of their gym membership
Going out to cinema, gig tickets etc with friends
Presents for friends
Make up/cosmetics/skincare shite
Holidays without us

Obviously they have all had to get jobs /babysitting if want to do more (they all have got jobs!)

Chores:

1. Rooms tidy ( when we used to have a cleaner, they have to do it.On the day the cleaner came or they would lose ten pounds that week - this often resulted in a messy room, but basically getting a free cleaner!)

1. Cook once a week
2. Daily do dishwaher/bins/washing up (split three ways)

Some of them are much better than the others at doing it.

As someone with ADHD I highly recommend making him value money a lot more otherwise he will massively fuck up when he is an adult.

I have a kitchen rota and a laundry rota for all four DC to self roster. So they can choose setting the table for dinner, do dishes, feed dog twice daily, recycling, putting out bins for collection on kerbside.

Laundry rota involves them each choosing a day each week to do one load of washing each.

19yo, 16yo, 10yo and 9yo.

The two older ones get £15 per month pocket money (but phone paid for and other regular treats) and younger two £10 per month.

The eldest often helps run errands with his car for us too.

My 15 year old has a tenner a week.

I pay for things like a top up for his phone, bus fair etc and basic clothes/shoes and haircuts.

He is home educated.

He runs the vacuum round while im doing wchool run and mops a couple of times a week.

He, and his two brothers wash up, dry up and put away every week night - they rotate between who does what.

Keep own room tidy

Get washing out of machine for me to hang out - but sometimes he will just hang it out for me

Pops down to the shop for milk etc

Comes shopping with me and unloads the car and helps put away

He is in charge of mowing the lawn because he loves gardening

Makes coffees

I have had my kids helping with chores since they were little so they all have jobs for pocket money. Theyre helpful kids though and if they notice something needs doing, they do it. This morning, the 15 yo noticed someone had spilt something down the cupboard door so he just wiped it.

Oh and he also took charge of putting bins out - we didnt ask him too but he does it - and goes and puts all the neighbours bins back for them once its been collected!

This thread has made me feel terrible. I give the most of all of you and he does the least!

really struggling.

With some discussion there's always time to sit down together and work out what works for both of you to split the chores equally.