Weekly pocket money and expected chores for a nearly 16-year-old son?

[ZaZaBa]

What’s the going weekly rate for pocket money for a nearly 16 year old son.
What is expected of them to earn this amount and what do they generally use it for?

My son atm just gets money from us ( within reason) when he needs stuff and when he goes out, however has no concept of the value of money and just realised he is quite privileged and just demands stuff all the time( I know this is our fault and want to change this)

He doesn’t do any chores and just seems to think he doesn’t need to. I explain we are all living in same family and he needs to help out . And tht often we have to do stuff we don’t feel like doing- fact of life. He will then stack a dishwasher once and thinks he should get £5 for this which obviously we refuse

Daily arguments atm about how his friends get treated soooo much better than him, have more stuff etc but he never goes without anything. Every meal time seems to end in an argument.

This is a parallel universe to me. We never expected our kids to do chores. That was mine and my DH’s job. (Lots of women expect their kids to do chores but never the husband - what is that little message teaching the next generation?)

However, we did expect our DC to have an age-appropriate level of independence and responsibilty which was rewarded with a lot of freedom and trust - so they were pretty self motivated and sensible. By the time they got to secondary we pretty much treated them like mini adults.

They took responsibilty for their own school work, kit, extra curricula schedules, ensuring dirty clothes were in the laundry and put away. They sorted their own rooms, set their own bedtimes and could switch lights off and lock up. They often sorted their own tea and put stuff in the dishwasher. It wasn’t something we had to nag or enforce, they just saw it as part of the household routine.

Intrinsic motivation is the key. Not women offloading their domestic load to their kids for money.

DD gets £60 a month from me and £50 a month from her Dad (divorced). I pay for her phone, anything related to school expenses, she has a pt job which earns £60 a week so anything else she wants like socialising, clothes, make up etc she pays for.

Our near 16 year old is autistic / goes to SEN school so we have to approach things slightly differently as he doesn’t ‘see’ things in quite the same way so we kind of gradually add tasks to his routine for tangible reasons and support him to learn how to do then then withdraw and encourage his independence. He changes his bedsheets and towels and will put a wash on with them, he puts his clean clothes away, he keeps his room tidy and puts washing in the basket, he will lay the table and clear the table, he cooks some simple things, he will hoover mess he makes himself etc. we need to work on other things like doing the dishwasher and the more complex side of laundry with dryers / ironing etc but that will be part of independence not chores. We also give him £40 per month as pocket money but essentially it feels like adding to his savings as he never spends it anyway!

Try getting a job at 14 now

Mine get £1 for each year of their age - 16 = £16

They also get a clothing allowance. That’s the tricky one.

My teens never got paid for chores but were expected to help out as part of the household. We had a rota for them for emptying the dishwasher and cleaning bathrooms, and tidying their own rooms is their responsibility plus cleaning up after themselves.

We pay for phones, travel and essential clothing/shoes/toiletries and gave £25 a month pocket money when they were younger. They all got jobs and don't spend much so save up, therefore don't need pocket money anymore. Ds just turned 16 and has saved over £2k doing a paper round for last 3 years.

i can't remember, but I tried giving my oldest DS an allowance,he was meant to use for all personal spending, when he was 14
He blew the lot,then borrowed from his younger brother. it didn't work. At 16,he got a job cleaning his school. All my 4 dks got a job whilst at school in a local famous Race Course. They were all expected to tidy,help Fred animals, generally muck in. I see such a difference in my dgks,oh dear me!!!!!

Maybe now, through a 2026 lens....but in the 90's it was very normal. If you wanted something, you went out and earnt the cash.

Why should he get any money for doing normal household tasks?

He should just pull his weight when asked to do something, with the expectation that he has certain responsibilities for his own shit.

As a minimum.

If he doesn't contribute to the household - this means not being micromanaged for 'chores' like a baby, he gets shit all money for anything. Never mind pocket money.

Frankly it staggers me that there's parents who have a child who has got to 16 and is asking these questions. The time to start is primary so it forms a habit and they know that taking responsibility for tasks is everyone's job, not just Mum's (or Dad's).

I do think a failure to do this from an early age adds to a lack of respect for mother's in general because kids grow up so bloody entitled and thinking that doing washing is somehow beneath them.

Not to mention the fundamental fact that many with be leaving home age 18 with a complete lack of everyday skills and knowledge. It's doing them no favours to be sitting on their arses doing nothing around the house at 16.

It should be riot act reading time tbh.

This.

£75 per month not linked to chores. We pay phone, he has bus pass and can take packed lunches or buy from his money. We buy basic clothes and shoes, more expensive items are presents or he saves to buy himself.

Everyone needs access to some money, and paying monthly helps develop skills with budgeting small amounts. We have done this for all our DC since they were in primary school.

Chores are part of family life - everyone is expected to help with things like setting and clearing table, folding washing, changing their own sheets, keeping rooms reasonably tidy, taking care of pets etc

Daily arguments atm about how his friends get treated soooo much better than him, have more stuff etc but he never goes without anything. Every meal time seems to end in an argument.

The answer to this is "Tough shit" and "Stop acting like a spoilt brat" and "We don't care what everyone else does" and "When are you moving in with them then?" On repeat.

No other responses. Those exact phrases on repeat.

It's very difficult to argue much when you do this. Don't open up the conversation further.

Oh and "We aren't your employers, we are your housemates". The point being he needs to learn respect for the people he lives with and take some initiative with responsibility for his actions within a household. Is he expecting his future housemates to pay him for doing the washing up? No so you don't bloody do it either.

I think it's a bit too late to do child rearing now, at 16. You should have installed in your son when he was much younger that everyone in a household pitches in. But I guess you can try.

I'd absolutely not get him anything more than the basics until he starts helping out around the house. And to a good standard. I would not teach him that doing chores = an opportunity to earn money. Because that teaches him that doing dishes and vacuuming is conditional upon whether or not you want or need money instead of upon what needs doing. He can do chores for a couple of months, with no reward for it, so he learns that he's part of a family where everyone must partake in keeping the home tidy and clean. Then, you can slowly start giving him money again. A set amount every amount that doesn't increase just because he might do a couple extra chores here and there. The point is to absolutely not connect doing chores with money.

My 15 year old DD was just getting about £10 a week to pay for bus home from school and pocket money stuff like drinks and lip gloss!
For this September we are trialling a new system of giving her £60 a month but she has to pay for most stuff out of that - clothes apart from basics and school uniform, bus, socialising with friends etc.
I will continue paying for her mobile and gym membership for now.

We have never done money for chores unless it’s something out of the ordinary like washing the car.
They live in the house so are expected to do age appropriate chores and keep their rooms tidy

My 13 year old gets £50 a month and my 10 year old gets £24. But she’s expected to pay for whatever she wants to do with friends and such and we still pay if my son goes bowling etc. It’s not directly related to chores but if they want to earn more for something specific, we give them something extra to do (wash the car, clean windows etc)

Separate to this they’ve had chores since they were maybe 4 - we all clean the house together one morning on the weekend and their responsibilities there get more and more involved as they get older. I think it’s way too late to install this sort of thing in a 16 year old though.

We did this from the age of 6.

DD is just 14 and gets £10 a week with ad hoc top ups as and when (eg I gave her a one-off £100 for back to school which was all uniform except the branded stuff, new shoes, whatever stationery etc she needed). She doesn’t have set ‘general’ house chores (we trialled it and it wasn’t very successful) but is expected to take pretty much total responsibility for sorting her own shit out when it comes to both school and life. She keeps her own room tidy, gets herself to and from school independently with whatever she needs, does her homework, I expect to ALWAYS hear from school that she’s trying her best and putting in 100% effort (she knows if this ever drops she will lose both her allowance and her screen time!). She does her own laundry from start to finish, washes up after herself (all the kids in our house do this though, including the primary aged ones). If we & the younger ones arent around for some reason (about once a fortnight) she has to sort her own dinner and clean up after herself. And she also has to generally help out when asked - collect the others from school if I’m caught up, take them to clubs etc occasionally, every so often I ask her to keep an eye on the toddler (or an ear out if toddler is in bed) if I’m nipping to the shop. She’s incredibly well behaved and pretty chill and helpful in general, and even though she doesn’t like the stuff she has to do, she side eyes her peers who have no independence skills (“they literally have never washed up! They don’t even know how to turn on a washing machine!”) so she does understand the value of it!

The best way to learn about managing money is having money to manage.
DS had a bank account from 13 with a cash card. At 16 (10 years ago) he got £60 per month allowance. When he went to 6th form we added £15 per week for lunches at school, which is what we would have paid anyway. He got canny pretty quickly and stopped buying meal deals and started buying ingredients to make his own packed lunch. At 17 he had a part time job.
I think financial education is really important - ds budgeted well at university, had a part time job tutoring to supplement his allowance and now at 26 has an ISA, pension and is in a healthy position for when we wants to buy a flat.
None of his allowance was ever linked to chores though - there were basic expectations of keeping room tidy, changing bed linen, helping with cooking and clearing up - but just as being part of the family.

No money for day to day chores such as watering garden pots, loading dishwasher etc as this should be done by everyone as we all live in the house. I'm not the manager and my sons are not my staff. Future wives will appreciate!

Mine gets £150 monthly allowance - this includes paying for gym, phone, clubs, school lunches - unrelated to chores.

They have to do chores regardless. Things like cooking once a week, putting laundry away, pet care, unloading the dishwasher.

No pocket money here, but he has a job earning £40 per week. I do pay for his phone and essentials.

He should be doing everything for himself: Washing, ironing, cleaning. Plus doing a proportion of the weekly meals for everyone sitting down in the evening. Everyone should be doing their share of the house cleaning, including him. If he can work PT he should be doing that and not be expecting pocket money. Basic clothing and footwear is parents responsibility, not designer stuff. If he wants more than basic he has to earn and contribute.

This is probably deemed to be harsh, but so is the World. Your job as parents is to make him World Ready, not to pander to wants. I feel sorry for your DCs if you have given them a soft life, this is so unfair on them and they will probably resent you for doing this in later life.

Just to give you a little insight: I have seen large numbers of so called "adults" who feel the World owes them and have achieved very little and some have become spongers and addicts.

We were going to set a weekly allowance, but quickly realized it just doesn’t work. Part of that is because I am disabled and because of that DD incurs some additional expenses. It’s hard to separate out what is an additional expense and what is a normal teenage expense.

In the end, I just got an additional credit card and made her an authorized user. She is the only one who actually uses the card. She is very responsible with the spending. She has only had one incident where she spent too much and she immediately came home mortified and explained what had happened. If it wasn’t working so well we might change the system, but it works for us.

My youngest had £80 a month at 16. We paid phone so she had £20 a week for walking about.

I must be a hard mother 🫣. My 14 year old ds irons his own uniform every sunday (i have it washed and ready) cleans his room, feeds and waters the cats, makes sure the rubbish is in the outside bin every night, goes to the shop if milk/bread needed,puts the dishwasher on for me, once a week cleans down the full kitchen and shines the cooker and appliances. His wee sister 11 likes to hoover, make sure her gerbil is clean and happy, sorts out her bedroom, help dust the livingroom, takes things to her granda if needed too. Both dont ask for pocket money as such (yet) but are given the same amount (if asked for) each week/fortnight if they want something.