Does your partner know who you vote for?

[hardshoulderr]

Do you tell them?
this came up on couples therapy and I wondered if people keep it secret.

In some communities, spouses are told whom to vote for.

I really like your statement about people being entitled to their own views and having friends who vote differently to them. So many people expect everyone to have the same political views as them. We don’t all like the same food, the same music.

Our political views are very much shaped by our upbringing, our current circumstances and often where we live, and whilst I am most
certainly not a Reform supporter myself, I can understand people living in rundown WC towns voting this way. And people who live in middle class areas who give judgement on this really annoy me.

I have to ask! Do you mean your DH wouldn’t mind much if you had different political views or that he wouldn’t mind if you left him ?

My DH definately knows who i vote for. Im a party member and stood for election in the past. I confirm thats who i vote for. Never voted for another party. He sways but he is his own person I leave him to it! I can usually guess which way his vote goes but if i ask he would tell me

Yes they do. We usually vote the same but not always, although we are both left of centre. I couldn't be with someone with very different views to me.

I have no issue if DH doesn't vote the exact same as me, but I do think being politically aligned is important - I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who felt immigrants should be detained in prison-like centres or that equal rights weren't important or people with disabilities shouldn't be provided for.

My political views come naturally from my value base, I'd struggle to maintain a close relationship with someone with a vastly different values to me. I respect people who have different values and their right to hold those values and view but it doesn't mean I want to be close to them.

Yes, we both vote the same way but even if we didn’t, it wouldn’t be something secret.

We may have told our eldest we voted labour at the last general election, just to shut him up (typical leftie student). We did in fact, vote conservative 😬

Haha 😂 tbf that’s better than having many many arguments about which is better.

Me and my DH talk about who we’ve voted for or plan to vote for.

It isn’t always the same but not poles apart. We both swing around the centre.

Yes, absolutely. And I know who he votes for which is different to the way I vote. We are both interested in politics, and Today is on the radio every morning so it is a topic of discussion. We certainly don’t agree on everything (far from it) but we respect one another’s view. And anyway, how boring would it be to agree about everything?

He’s never asked, but he probably knows, since around here it’s a Tory/LD contest, Labour typically come nowhere - and he almost certainly knows I wouldn’t vote Tory.

I probably did tell him the one year when I was so fed up with the lot of them, I voted for the Monster Raving Loony bloke - I would never NOT vote.

I know how he votes, since he’s supported the LDs for some time now.

My parents wouldn’t either, it’s a private ballot for a reason. My DH and I talk about politics and have broadly similar views. I don’t know who he voted for at the last election and I don’t think he knows who I voted for. It’s not something we’d necessarily ask each other. I respect the privacy of the ballot box, if he chose to tell me I’d be fine with it but it’s really none of my business.

Yes. Luckily, we both have very similar opinions but occasionally disagree. I wouldn't wish to be in a relationship with a very liberal/far left voter, our values simply wouldn’t align.

My husband has me research the ballot and fill out a sample one for him. Sometimes when the choice isn’t obvious, I write him up a quick pro and con.

It’s one of my areas of expertise and we share views so he prefers to defer to me.

We don't ask each other but we do tend to tell each other. We are individuals but we are interested in each other's opinions.

I have always known which way my parents (in their 80s) vote, Dad doesn't talk about it much but is lifelong Conservative, Mum does talk about it a lot and is a longterm member of the LibDems. Neither is bothered that they are different.

I can assure you, I'm not a secret Nazi 😂

We've always known we're on the same side politically. Before DH I was with someone whose political views were pretty much diametrically opposed to mine. Never again. I dare say some couples make it work, but I've no idea how.

This is my thinking.

Neither of us are members of a political party.
I know, over the 45 odd years I've been voting, I've not always voted for the same political party.
I have commonly voted differently in a General Election from in a Council election.
I know we generally have similar views on most political debates, and I know I have never found a politician nor political party that I agree with on all issues.

I don't know who dh has voted for in any election and he wouldn't know who I voted for, but I suspect we could both have a pretty good guess.

I do feel people should be able to vote for whoever they think is the best candidate though without feeling pressured so I firmly believe who anyone votes for is their own decision and nobody else's business.

Of course if his whole personality changed and he suddenly started being racist or going off on any sort of rants about treating people differently because of the way they were born, there'd be bigger conversations to be had.

We haven’t discussed who we vote for in 30 years of being together. I would bet it’s completely different though.

"Political affiliation" doesn't really cover it.

There are several political parties in the UK who aren't really all that far apart on most issues, but people who affiliate with ideologies tend to have very set and firm outlooks on sociological matters, social justice, human and civil rights, and so on.

I tend to only be attracted to people who are broadly aligned with my own views on these things, so the political party they vote for isn't necessarily a deal-breaker, whereas it would be if they suddenly performed a dramatic about-face and started advocating for things I find totally and utterly unconscionable. We'd stop being compatible at that point, and it wouldn't really be about politics at all, more they'd have become someone I wouldn't choose to spend time with at all given the choice.

Yes, this is what I meant, but put so much better

General election- we vote for the same candidate and will chat about them.

Our recent local election - he assumed I'd voted the same but I hadn't and didn't correct him. My vote, my choice.

Yes, we don't always vote in the same way but talk about politics a lot and have similar values. We just don't always agree on the right solutions or policies, but I always know who he voted for. I also know how my parents, siblings, inaws etc vote. It's pretty normal to discuss politics in both of our families.