Skin picking - I need to stop

[NorthEastNancy]

I wasn't sure whether this should go in Health?!

I've been picking my scalp and ears for years but I've ramped it up lately and now I'm a mess. I feel horrendous every time I do it, I'm terrified of infections and I'm sore.

I've always thought I was discreet but ds asked yesterday why I'm always picking and I felt so embarrassed. I need to stop

I'm not an anxious person, I have a nice life (I'm a teacher so work hard but I'm long serving so don't have the same stresses as new, younger teachers) and i don't feel like I have any reason to do this

I've washed and styled my hair this morning and desperately don't want to wash it again for a few days. Ive been washing it so often lately because my hair is full of scalp that I've picked (sorry, that's horrendous)

I've put moisturiser on my ears and intend in topping that up regularly (although I've left it at home today)

I've not picked since 6.30am but it's been on my mind all day. Not sure what I'm hoping for with this - advice / camaraderie maybe!

It’s trichotillomania, a form of OCD. I’ve had this since my teen years (the pulling out hair variety). You need professional support. You will never stop entirely but you can manage and control it

All day - I went all bloody day then gave in. Only for 2 minutes and it's nowhere near as bad as usual but I really thought i coukd do the whole day!

Determined to keep trying 💪

I started doing this about 2 years ago. Seems to be stress related. It drives me crazy! I know i shouldn't do it, I stop myself constantly, then before I know it, I've absent-mindedly started picking and there's blood under my nails from my scalp. It's so annoying. It annoys me that I can't seem to stop it.

I've tried antibiotic creams and steroid creams in the hope they'll heal quicker (for some reason they take for ever to heal, and if i know they're there, or raised, or weepy, or scabby, my hands just go back and find the spot!), but the creams haven't really helped to heal them any quicker.

I've tried fidgets but I forget to use them!
The best ones I've found are spinny rings with silicone spikes, which are nice and 'picky'. I just have to remember to put them on. But I like them because I can wear them while doing some things, like I'm wearing one now while using my phone, I can wear one while I'm working at my desk and I can still use my mouse, type etc.

Link to the picky rings... it's an Australian link coz I'm Australian! 😆 But I'm sure you could find them elsewhere online. My favourite is the yellow one because it's more satisfying to pick.
https://sensoryspace.com.au/products/silicone-rotating-fidget-rings-4-pack

It's definitely down to neurodivergence. Look up "sensory processing disorder" (the craving kind).

Knowing that doesn't necessarily help you find a solution, but it should stop you from feeling like it's your fault, eg for being too weak to break the habit. It's not just a habit, it's the way your brain is wired. Don't beat yourself up about it!

I just thought of another strategy that's been working a bit lately... i put my hair in a ponytail (normal for me anyway), then I put gel and/or hairspray in. Not only is it not as satisfying, as I can't get easy access to the scalp, but it's also a physical prompt... my hand wanders up there, touches my hair, and I think "oh that's right I put hairspray in this morning... oh that's right I shouldn't be picking!!".