Skin picking - I need to stop

[NorthEastNancy]

I wasn't sure whether this should go in Health?!

I've been picking my scalp and ears for years but I've ramped it up lately and now I'm a mess. I feel horrendous every time I do it, I'm terrified of infections and I'm sore.

I've always thought I was discreet but ds asked yesterday why I'm always picking and I felt so embarrassed. I need to stop

I'm not an anxious person, I have a nice life (I'm a teacher so work hard but I'm long serving so don't have the same stresses as new, younger teachers) and i don't feel like I have any reason to do this

I've washed and styled my hair this morning and desperately don't want to wash it again for a few days. Ive been washing it so often lately because my hair is full of scalp that I've picked (sorry, that's horrendous)

I've put moisturiser on my ears and intend in topping that up regularly (although I've left it at home today)

I've not picked since 6.30am but it's been on my mind all day. Not sure what I'm hoping for with this - advice / camaraderie maybe!

Could just be a habit but more likely low level self harm. More shocking when you hear that term.
Do you mainly do it at home or at school too?

Could you try a hair wrap or scarf at home? You could try a “skin picking” fidget or take up crochet or knitting.

Re work, teaching is stressful at any age as expectations are high and pressure is great
( retired teacher) you may just not realise how anxious you are.

Picky pad? I need to stop too. I find wearing gel nails or having them very short naturally helps. I’ve read that fidget/anxiety jewellery is helpful, but I don’t wear any as it’s a whole sensory thing for me. I’m worried about losing my hair, but worry makes the compulsion stronger so it’s hard! Maybe something like hypnosis or CBT? There’s a sub on Reddit full of tips

A neighbour of ours had this exact issue but has overcome it completely with thanks to oven gloves. Basically every evening she was head picking in front of the TV , so she put the gloves on at approximately 6pm and roughly 8 weeks later she is completely cured

Oh gosh OP I've got a scab behind my left ear which I've been picking at for months. To the extent there was blood on my pillow a couple of mornings. And one morning I woke up with earache and wasn't sure if my ear had become infected.

Since then I've been making big effort not to pick.at the scab and I regularly put Savlon on it. It's improved a bit but every now and again I find myself forgetting and picking at it again. It's difficult

Get gel nails and ask the nail tech to make them square or squoval and shaped so you can’t pick. It’s the only thing that has event worked for me.

It does seem like it's edging into self harm, I think about it all the time and do it until it hurts (and after it hurts to be honest)

I'm back in work today sorting exam re-marks etc so I've been able to occupy myself. It's as soon as I sit down at night.

I do crochet actually but haven't been recently. I might get a project back out tonight!

Laughing at the overnight gloves tip - although I am desperate enough to try it.

I've not picked all day at work but have stroked my head and can feel all the sore patches just ready! My ears are sore and itchy too. Ive kept my hair down all day because of it.

I’ve found it impossible to stop, OP. I always thought it was purely stress-related - I started doing it as a child with an emotionally abusive parent. But I read quite recently that it can be a form of self-soothing in people on the autistic spectrum, which I am. Nothing to offer except cameraderie rather than advice!

Do you think you could be neurodivergent? It can be a form of stimming (self-soothing). I know it is for me.

I do this too! Between that and biting my lips I must be a pleasure to behold but it just feels so gooood. I would like to stop but I think in my mind I'm feeling like if I can just pick/bite off the rough bits (that are a result of previous picking and biting), I will be all smooth and not feel the need.

Possibly with regards to the neuro divergence. I probably have at least ADHD. I'm 48 though and I'm happy plodding with my life apart from this.

I was going to suggest you needed to find something to occupy your hands, crochet would definitely do the trick!

DP has ADHD and needs to be doing something with her hands pretty much constantly. She's got a selection of fidget toys stashed all over the house to occupy herself when she's not doing anything else with them. If she's not got one then she ends up picking at her cuticles until she ends up hurting herself.

I always think "I'll just pick 1 patch today, I won't touch the rest" and before I know it I'm a mess and have to sweep the floor down the side of my settee!

Would second the recommendation of getting your nails done. Acrylic/gel nails have completely stopped my habit of picking the skin around my nails.
They don't have to be talons, you can have them short, but it really makes your nails less sharp & scratchy, and you'rre less able to pick. You also can't scratch an itch or peel off labels as easily!

Oh gawd OP I’m also a secondary school teacher and an inveterate skin/nails picker.

DS1 is AuDHD and I often wonder if my picking is sensory/stress/ND related.

A PP suggested pick pads, I might have to buy some of these.

Gel nails so they are too thick to effectively pick and it’s not as soothing to do. Also loads of moisturiser so skin isn’t as pickable

I pick away at the callouses on my hands (from aerial arts) to the point where I can’t actually do my hobbies because my hands are too sore to grip. I find these fidget toys work the best as you can squeeze them and you get a little pain (they’re called little ouchies 🤣). I literally have to have it in my hand all day long or I’ll pick. I also have a “habit tracker” app on my phone and get a little tick for every day I don’t pick 🤣🙈. I’m also autistic by way of an explanation.

Buy some N-acetyl cysteine on Amazon or Boots. It has shown benefit in reducing hair pulling and skin picking in two double-blind studies.
A diet low in sugar has also shown proven benefits

Me too OP coming out in sympathy for you. I think I have some kind of seborrhoea dermatitis. I develop (seemingly from nowhere) scaly tender lumps and then I start picking until it bleeds. My scalp has been clear for a couple of months until 2 weeks ago I touched it and felt a new welt all tender again. I’m really trying not to pick. Also I pick and chew thick skin on my finger tips. That started when my mum was in hospital 4 years ago.
I knit but can’t do it all the time

The only way I can stop is to have gel extensions on my nails, if someone can explain why this stops me I’d love to know

I find putting on gloves works too! I use just woollen ones when I’m sat down in the evenings watching TV as that’s when I get an urge. Weirdly they keep me calm and comforted!

The supplement NAC (n-acetyl cysteine) has been shown in research to be highly effective for this. I know someone who found it completely stopped her desire to pick.

Sympathies OP. I compulsively pick my hands and feet. The only thing that stops me is having gel on my nails like other posters have said. If anything because I’ve paid money to have them done and I don’t want to ruin them! As soon as they come off though, I’m picking again. I have ADHD and CPTSD. It’s a nightmare.

It's not self harm it's a habit like thumb sucking. It's like a comfort. It's not to numb distressing feelings. Though I do it when I'm anxious. And bored or tired.

But it's not the same emotional process you go through with SH. For me personally who's done both. Thankfully it's just the picking now. It's my lip and I love squeezing spots that aren't there?!

Using loads of moisturiser is a good idea. You can rub it into your ears or scalp when you feel like picking. So you can go to tst area but not do any damage.

I hope OP can get away from doing it so regularly.

I can relate Op, no great advice, but you're not alone. I pick the skin around my thumbs, I have ADHD so it's very common! Looking at the advice on here with interest.