Should I raise concerns about my child's diet at their dad's?

[HulkHogansHair]

Hello
Got a nearly 9 year old. Have 30/70 with dad. Dad feeds dc absolute rubbish ie chocolate crossaints, chocolate cereal, McDonald's. I dont.
Dc is currently 130cm and 34kg and look chunky. Ex is extremely difficult. Do I bother breaching this or just hope being with me and being active off sets it?

Unless he's a bit dim and doesn't understand healthy eating, talking to him is unlikely to achieve anything. I have heard something about the 80/20 rule of 80% UPF free and 20% processed, so as long as he's eating well for the 70% with you and getting plenty of exercise he should be fine. I'd encourage your DS to make healthy choices for himself too.

That is very heavy, DS is nearly 8, 137 cm and about 10kg lighter and eats like a horse. Your DS at that height and weight is 96th centile and significantly into the overweight zone for BMI.

They tend to do healthy eating topic at school I know in Y2 they looked at food groups and what a balanced plate of food looks like. Does your DC need a check up at the doctor's for anything else? Just thinking if the advice about eating came from a doctor rather than you, his dad might actually listen.

Is the looking chunkier a recent thing? Could your son be due a growth spurt? Both my kids looked like they'd put on weight when they were due to grow.

With regards to the actual question at hand, nothing you say to his dad will make a difference and it will likely just create more animosity.

I only once asked my ex to not feed my child before returning them as they'd asked for their favourite dinner upon return (just this once). So I relayed this to the child's father... who in turn took said child out and filled them up on chips so they couldn't eat their dinner.

Better to concentrate on reinforcing what makes a healthy diet for your child, and teaching him how to make good choices. The 30% of junk won't hurt him.

No idea why I suggested it.

Focus on controlling what you can which is educating your child about healthy eating and offer good choices in the time you have with them. Over time they will push back with their father. Over a year how many meals is he actually responsible for? Very few once schools are open again.

Looking at your replies here, it comes across that you're cross with your ex for being a crap/previously absent dad. It sounds like there's conflict between you. I suspect that's colouring how you approach this issue. As others have said, if your child is with you 70% of the time, I would try not to worry about what Dad is doing in his time. If you raise it, your ex won't listen, it'll worsen the conflict, and he'll spin it as you being controlling.

It would be great if you could raise it but only you know whether he’ll take it on board.
could you take your child for a health check up or get some objective evidence from a health professional that he is overweight. Maybe saying ‘the doctor weighed him and said he’s heavier than what he should be. He recommended that we increase fruit and veg and reduce fast food and get him more active’.
Make it a joint endeavour rather than making it about him.