Boundaries around giving lifts to teen -any suggestions?

[WarmthAndDepth]

My teen (16) is has entered a phase of being a bit demanding -as her independence grows, she's asking for lifts and collections more frequently. I really want to support her having a social life and try new things so, as long as she uses public transport on the routes she feels safe and confident using, I'm happy to, within reason, fill in a few transport gaps when she wants to venture to areas which aren't easily accessible by bus or train.

We've had talks about giving reasonable notice and her sticking to agreed timings (eg being ready to actually leave on time) and that it's her responsibility to make sure any friends are ready if they are also included in the lift.

This last fortnight, there have been occasions where I've had to pick her up on her attitude to the lifts, and, to my disappointment, she's not responded particularly well: she's tried to flip it to make me sound unreasonable, stretched timings and changed plans last minute, and then asked for further lifts without acknowledging or really apologising for her attitude previously. This morning I heard her complaining to a friend about how unreasonable I was being, telling the friend that she'd spoken to yet another friend about it too, and that the other friend 'totally agreed' that I was being 'out of order'.

Now I'm thinking that she can stuff her lifts, and her friends can do one. I've been waaay too accommodating. But apparently, her friends' mums drive their DC places all the time, at the drop of a hat.

What boundaries or agreements do you have in place with giving rides, dropping off and picking up your teens? Like I say, I do want to be supportive of her growing independence, but not be taken for a ride (pardon the pun). How do I convey an understanding that, while I don't mind driving her places, a bit of consideration wouldn't go amiss? My perspective is a bit skewed -I'm possibly a bit quick to help others out, but absolutely hate asking anyone for help, and also hate the idea of ever feeling beholden to anyone or, indeed, my DD having to feel beholden to me.

Yep, tell her to do one. The lifts will resume when she can treat you better than a taxi service.

Out of order!?

Hell no thank you!

No lifts/ money etc until decent behaviour and manners are restored
Insist upon the same level of manners that you would expect from anyone else
Mothers are not teenage emotional punch bags

It's 10 minutes up the motorway -we end up in a different county. If it was a 10 min 30mph amble through the neighborhood I'd say walk it, but it's a much longer distance.

@SparklyBlueDress Yes to the good chats!

@Mcdhotchoc Things absolutely change the minute you make to get out of the car -you're right! The minute she thinks I'm going to walk up to the door to check in with a friend's parent, or summon a lift-sharing friend's through the door, she almost dies of embarrassment.

@Softcream I was definitely meant to hear -she relayed the highlights of the conversation to me later, with emphasis

@Poppingby That made me laugh. And I suspect it's true at this stage.

@ElegantDress The thing about plans being liable to change last minute due to mobiles is so true. DD has never been able to cope with spontaneity -when her friends shake on an arrangement it stresses her out so much. She does her level best to appear cool on the face of it but really hates it.