Did your husband notice if you lost a lot of weight?

[SmartPeacock789]

In the last 18 months I have lost 5 stone. I have been on a plateau for the last 3-4 months.

my husband has said nothing. I have told him tonight what I have lost. I look so different. Why hasn’t he said anything? His response - “I see you every day. Why would I notice?”

my parents see me ever day, the people on the school run, my kids’ teachers, people in my gym classes. It feels like every single other person in my life has given me a compliment, or at least mentioned my weight loss, which I like. I’ve worked really hard to do it.

When I met my husband, I was my smaller than I am now (and younger!) he’s known a me long enough to know how unhappy I was bigger, and much much of a battle I found everything.

this is not a case of my husband just loving me anyway. He just doesn’t notice me. If I shaved my head, it would take him a week to notice, if he did at all. If I dissolved into a puddle of water, he wouldn’t notice until dinner didn’t appear on the table. He’s not unkind, he’s just dismissive and doesn’t notice or prioritise me.

i guess my question is - if you lost a lot of weight, did you husband mention it and was supportive?

I have been on Mounjaro for a year. I have lost 5 stone. I very obviously look very different now, gone from 14 stone to 9 stone. My husband has been very supportive although he is a little worried I’ve got a bit too thin now. Tbf, I saw a photo of me this morning from a party last night and I look a bit gaunt! He’s noticed.

Umm yes? Of course!

That’s wild. I lost 5 stone and look like a completely different person! I very much doubt he hasn’t noticed though, he’s purposefully not commenting on stuff like that, for a reason only he can know.

Yes, he did notice and was supportive. Although careful not to imply that I'd been less attractive when fatter. But he was proud that I'd made progress with something I'd worked at, and was doing types of exercise that I hadn't been able to do before (couch to 5k).

Not paying you attention sounds dismissive, as if he doesn't appreciate you. You deserve to be treated better than that.

Yes. I have lost 8 stone over the last 15 months, my DH has been my biggest supporter. We spent last week putting all my size 26s onto Vinted he picked up one pair of trousers and said I could probably get two of me in them now. 😁. I couldnt but I am a 16 now.

It makes me feel so sad. I clearly look so different. For him to claim he hasn’t noticed just makes me wonder if he ever saw me in the first place.

Yes I’ve lost 3.5 stone and he’s noticed. He really noticed about 2/3 of the way in and he’s been very supportive and complimentary. Your dh is not being very nice tbh

I lost six stone, 14st down to 8st. He noticed everything.

I’ve gone from a size 16 to a 10-12.
i am strong and athletic, i could lose another stone or 2 and still be in healthy BMI, but right now in clothes, i look good. Slim even.

I would bet that he is doing it on purpose for some reason OP. He's either threatened or just plain mean, either way he’s not in your corner.

Nobody can be that thick surely.

I’ve lost a few kg. 70kg to about 63kg. He’s noticed and says I look good. Not that it’s made him more interested in me. But I don’t want to hijack your thread.

If I became anorexic or so stressed I couldn’t eat, or so thin I was ill, he probably wouldn’t notice

he just doesn’t give any thought to me at all. not in a mean way, but in an “im not interested” way

Is that someone you want to share your life with?

When I lost five stone someone at my gym said to me, wow your husband must be all over you. He wasn’t. He is now my ex husbands

well done on your weight loss that’s impressive. Could your husband maybe be jealous?
I think you need to mention that this is a big win for you and choose something to do with your husband to celebrate be it go to concert, trip to a spa, and make sure he pays for it to celebrate your weight loss 👏🏻👏🏻

I lost 2.5 stone a couple of years ago and dp noticed. He knew I was calorie counting because I kept talking about it!!

He lost a stone himself because I'd lost weight too.

Why is your husband not interested in you?

He’s a great dad, loves the kids, Gives them everting, always has time for them. He’s not selfish in that regard. He’s not lazy, doesn’t sit on his phone, will always be there to play with them.

but it’s just me for some reason.

Have you not spoken to your husband about your weight loss in the last 18 months? I would be telling my partner a daily or at least weekly update .

I think the fact that you don’t seem to talk about your daily lives at all reflects the fact he didn’t seem to notice or care

i don’t know. Hence the thread.
maybe you have an answer as this comes across as a bit of a nasty comment.

I guess I didn’t want to make a big deal out of something i could have failed at. So I kept my efforts quiet in the hope he would notice and then support me. But that support never came, so I eventually just told him.

Yes of course my DP has noticed. I have lost over 11 stone so he'd have to have a serious issue not to have noticed. I have replaced my wardrobe a few times as well, so all my clothes are different too.

He doesn't often mention it without me bringing it up because he knows I don't like to talk about weight, weight loss, size, etc but he mentions clothes, the exercise that I now do, how I now feel the cold more etc so I know he realises I am very different.

I am surprised that your DH has so little interest in you. If it's not too personal a question, is he interested in you sexually??

Sorry, I didn't mean it to seem nasty at all; it's really sad the way you stated it as such a fact. "He just doesn't give me any thought at all". I didn't phrase it well, but that's what I meant - it's so sad that your husband isn't interested in you, or that you feel like that's the case.

I’ve lost 2 stone since Jan, tbh I talk about it so much there’s not really an opportunity for him to mention it first 🤣 I’m on MJ and tbh he’s learned to be careful what to say about my body. I remember when he came back from deployment I had a crop top on and he went “woah you got skinny” I enjoyed that! (He meant that as a compliment) I suppose 4 months away it was more noticeable. I don’t think it matters to him at all, he’s shown enthusiasm for my body at all sizes.

Do you sleep together?