Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Do I want a therapist, a life coach or something else?

26 replies

TherapistQuestions · 26/07/2026 20:01

I'm struggling with my job and my life right now. My work pays reasonably well (60k), but it's wfh and I'm very lonely all the time. There's a lot of autonomy, but it also feels like nobody is really bothered what I do. I know this sounds like a dream, but I'm so bored and lonely and frustrated. DH works away all the week, and has a high-earning, busy job in a fast-paced office. He calls each night, but I feel so disconnected, plus he's always really tired when he calls. He likes to vent about his job, and says that I'm being negative if I say I'm miserable in my life. To be fair, I probably am! I'm also two stone overweight, hate how I look, and stressed and miserable all the time.

I want to talk through my problems with someone, and maybe get some advice for how to pull myself out of this slump. I spend all day miserable and lonely and resentful, and then all evening by myself doom scrolling or reading MN. But I don't know who I want to talk to! I want a sympathetic ear and advice about gearing myself up to make some positive changes, and a bit of "wise woman" insight. Is this a therapist, a counsellor, a life coach, or something else? Maybe even chatGPT?

Help me, MN-ers!

OP posts:
nc42day · Yesterday 11:33

It's like my head is stuck in the wrong gear somehow, but there's no real reason for it.

I think you feel exactly as most humans would if they sat at a desk all day doing something they found not particularly meaningful, and then sat on a sofa all evening doomscrolling. There's a good reason for it, you've just got to take steps in the direction you want to go, and keep going. Not try to snap out of it or fix it overnight.

How you feel is how most people would feel, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you, but your human isn't getting what it needs. You need to see some faces, and feel some connection to place, and get some purpose.

I would start with joining one group that takes your fancy, make it a weekly thing, one evening, and make yourself go, even if you hate it, for at least six weeks. It will give you something to think about and talk about and get the wheels moving.

Spend the money you have available for therapy on physio and get that tendonitis behind you. Then, get outside for at least half an hour a day. Even in winter. Get yourself a decent waterproof, keep it by the front door, stick your boots on and get outside. Doesn't have to be a run, it can be a slow shuffle round the block until you can do more but you'll notice things changing in the world.

You need to move your body, if you are behaving like a sick person and not moving, then your brain can't tell the difference. Swimming, or weight training, until the ankle is fixed.

You can't shut yourself in a house on your own for five days and nights every week and expect to feel anything other than lonely and a bit sad. It's almost like a self imposed prison! You need to kick yourself up the arse, do something, anything, as a start and things will naturally start to improve.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page