DD says she has felt anxious and sick for two weeks how can I help?

[LadyInRainbow]

DD 15 has always been a very laid back child, tonight had a total meltdown saying she’s been feeling sick and anxious since we back from holiday 10 days ago, 24/7 unless she’s with her friends and distracted, says she’s not been sleeping though this isn’t true, she’s out like a light. She says nothing is wrong and nothing is actually worrying her she just feels worried. I offered suggestions of mindfulness, exercise etc but says nothing will help.

Kicking myself as just yesterday I said how weird it was to have a non anxious child as an anxious person.

No idea how to help her

wow she sounds like a superstar. Maybe focus on co-regulation then, "be her calm" or let her borrow your calm rather than leaping down the rabbit hole of her anxiety. It's a hard judgement call to make as listening to her is also important, but be a bit wary of ending up spiralling off each other's anxiety. As you probably know it is incredibly difficult to keep your own nervous system regulated with a dysregulated anxious teen about the place.

Do you think that is what she might be finding in her friends - that she might be "borrowing their calm"? Sorry for the pop psychology - have had teen with EBSA and MH difficulties

It’s tricky I’m flipping between trying not “under worry” to worrying too much. She’s always been very laid back, never effected by friends dramas, never had a nightmare, etc. so part of me wonders if actually this is very small (in the grand scheme of things) but to her seems huge because she’s never worried about anything before. I shall try and be calm easier said than done when trying to move house and I’ll stop asking if she’s okay. She says her friends just distract her from feeling sick with worry about nothing!

My DD is 14 and always gets like this a couple of weeks before going back to school. She can never tell me why she’s feeling worried and will always say that it’s not her friends or school (and she does generally like school and has nice friends!).

I know now that it is her just worrying about what will happen in the next school year and usually after a week back she is generally ok again.

I would take it as a good sign that she is able to let you know how she is feeling although she can’t voice why. I will say nothing much has worked so far when DD is like that and I just say to her that I’m here if she wants to talk or just have a hug and that the feelings will pass. I just try and keep things relatively low key, watch films, get nice snacks in - although I appreciate hard to do when you are moving.

I am a worry wort myself and swimming used to help me get some of the nervous energy out for a bit. I hope the move goes well and your DD starts to find things a little easier once she’s back at school.