Neighbour asked me to read their self published memoir, now what?

[Merlinthewhale]

Would you read a book if a neighbour asked you to? It’s their self published book about a difficult period in their life. I started reading it, now I know more about them than I ever wanted or needed to. I have never regretted reading a book so much and can’t see them in the same light knowing how they view and have treated other people. Do I lie and say I haven’t had time yet? I don’t feel I can tell the truth now and I don’t wish to feature in the next book.
I’ve name changed for this just in case it becomes a bestseller and I’m tracked down to play the nosey neighbour in the movie.

Lolz

I would say this:

I really hope you won't be offended, but good boundaries are very important to me. I'm really careful with what I share with and about others. I've thought long and hard about it and I've decided not to read your memoir. I hope you can understand and I appreciate the gesture that you were willing to share it with me. Congratulations on your achievement though.

Afterwards, maybe you can hypnotise yourself to believe this. I don't think anything good will cone out of you admitting that you've read it.

Are you in it? Might you be in the sequel? How outrageous would you need to be to get a mention?

Sorry I’m blind.

This is sound advice. You can't reason with crazy, so be crazy.

I think I’ve gone too far now! Thank you all for your responses. Hopefully it will help me stop thinking “she stabbed someone” every time I leave the house! She is so quiet and softly spoken. It is quite well written but I would never have read as much of it if I didn’t know her.
I’m also feeling very silly for buying it on Kindle, and I can’t even have a signed copy!

Is her life-story that interesting that she felt the world needs to know?

Most self published books are ego stroking, the writer thinks they’re the next Stephen King (can’t think of another author) they’ve never even taken a creative publishing class either.

With the exception of one person I know who self published but also has had career books published - hers is great. About her fight with ovarian cancer. Most self published books are dross and only of interest to person writing them and their family and friends.

Oh god!
My friend (who has never done one of the aforementioned creative writing courses) has been writing a self published book for months and all the characters are based on them & their family. They are convinced it's going to be massive, so I've been doing a lot of smiling, nodding and non committal noises lately. Until last week when they mentioned they couldn't wait for me to read it as they were sure I'll love it and my face went like this 😬.

Volunteer nothing. If asked, 'it wasn't my cup of tea' and refuse to say anything further.

@AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta start rehearsing your excuses from the suggestions here 😂 save yourself! You still have time

Whoa back up a second.....she stabbed someone?!

On second thoughts tell her it was a literary masterpiece.....wouldn't want to get on her bad side. 🤣

😂 No word of a lie, I've logged some of these excellent posts in my head! What makes it worse is that its a genre they know that I completely hate never read. But they are certain that their masterpiece will convert me. Fml!

Self publishing should be heavily controlled (I’m joking).

DH fell out with a long time acquaintance because he wasn’t reverential enough about his self published book. He was nice about it but not nice enough. Did us a favour really.

I know someone who has just published his third novel as part of a series. He announced he was writing this one and within a month he’d published it. He seems angry now it’s not a successful series and is harassing people about buying a copy.

She stabbed someone and made you pay for a copy of her book? What a psycho.

I have a relative who is self publishing a memoir. I understand that it’s been a therapeutic process for them but it is so self indulgent and so hard to read. I have only read sections and am dreading it coming out. They have said things about relatives which are pretty damming. The only comfort is I don’t think many people will read it.

I do private tutoring so I often have to read and edit my students work. My charges begin at £80 an hour. If my neighbour asked me to read something I would quote my fees and ask for payment in advance. I find that a pretty good conversation stopper for needy neighbours.

in many ways no different than reading military books, etc people do different things all part of humans being human

Maybe I’m a bitch but if our neighbours came over and asked us to read their self published memoir me and DH would be fucking foaming at the mouth. Kids to bed, wine out, and have a read.

Would probs just give a polite response but who the fuck writes a self published memoir other than a nutter.

'self-published memoir' -just the phrase has had me laughing like a walruss at 2am.

I have a colleague who tried to get me to read his poetry and the book he was writing, he sent me pages and pages of stuff. I ended up saying I found it all too emotional to keep reading which seemed to please him

I’ve been known to say, “Your writing certainly brings up a lot of feelings in the reader. I’m impressed with your dedication to telling your story, it can’t have been easy. Not everyone can do what you’ve done.” And then change the subject. No lies told. If she questions you, well, you’re already reading another book and have forgotten the details.

omg i’m very jealous, i would think i died and went to heaven if i got to read all about the skeletons in the closet of someone i know… but then again my nickname is nosey nellie and my cousin and me would spend hours sitting at the window writing down what the neighbours were doing with dates and timestamps(i’m still raging our grandad threw it out and gave us the row of our lives, i’d love to read it)

Is she expecting you to buy the copy she gave you?

Post it back with a note alomg the lines of;

"I started to read it but I got distracted with thoughts about my own life. However I have coloured all the "O's in."