My husband died recently. Not unexpected, had a stroke last year, no life, in care, etc. DD is only 27 and feeling her loss (DH was 79). She phoned tonight, I had a friend here - 5 hours in at this point, unexpectedly, - DD has been struggling with anxiety (kind of unrelated to his death, she’s got health issues, I’ve had major surgery, appreciate she’s been through the mill in the last few years) but fuck me how many times can I make the right noises, in company of my now quite drunk friend about the fact that it’s Fathers’ Day on Sunday and it’s her first without him?
I’ve been expecting the bringing up of Fathers’ Day if only because of all the effing emails about ‘if you don’t want to hear about Fathers’ Day’. Bit surprised they’ve only just crept into her peripheral vision but I’m actually put out that she felt it necessary to start sobbing then say ‘well I’ll leave you to your evening if you’re busy’ when I clearly had company (I’d been blessed with a FaceTime call). I appreciate I’m a hard hearted bitch but how many different ways can I commiserate? I had the temerity to mention that I still miss my own Dad (but it’s my first one), think of all the happy memories of previous Fathers’ Days (I’m personally struggling to think of many but hey ho) I’m so sorry you are going through this sweetheart, why don’t you accept your boyfriend’s invitation to go home him on Sunday to celebrate with them (why would I want do that) and on it goes.
Bangs head on floor. Am I just completely failing in my duties as a mother?
Answers on a postcard……