Colonoscopy - bum embarrassment

[Namechangedforgoodreasons]

I’ve got to have a colonoscopy.

Please reassure me that the medical staff won’t be stifling giggles at the size of my enormous arse…

Nice one!

I've had 5 colonoscopies over the years. They are fine. They are interested in the inside of your bum not the outside and they're absolutely professional. The staff are always lovely and there will be a female nurse to hold your hand In case you need it.

Had a couple, worried but not as much as the previous year with another scan. Dr Google nearly gave me a PhD.
Anyway, it was fine, the results were fine and the staff were honestly just lovely, I don't know how they do it but they do.
I nearly didn't have the sedative in a how hard can it be.
Trust me, have the sedative. As it was they couldn't finish because turns out i have a 'tortuous colon' so I had to go back. By having the sedative they could be satisfied I truly was a freak of nature and not just a bit pathetic so I got fast tracked to an MRI rather than repeat with sedative.

Don't plan for the worst, most of us get an all clear. Please update how it goes and when you get your results.

Thank you, everybody. You’re all really kind and reassuring. I’ll let you know how it goes.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

They won't see much of it! They give you a pair of disposable shorts with a trapdoor at the back. Mind you, with the sedation, you won't care who sees your bum! They make it as dignified as is possible.

I cried beforehand because I was so nervous, they were lovely, it was absolutely fine

With the sedation and the dark room, I think i even napped a bit.

And I got a printout with pictures of my insides! (I don't think thats common 🤣)

I was so nervous I said to the doctor doing it ' its a bit painful my dp said it doesn't hurt I presume he has a slack ring piece' even after I said that ridiculous statement they were still polite and kind 😂😂😂

All they see all day is arse! They're not looking at the actual size of the butt cheeks, just concentrating on putting the thing up the hole correctly and seeing inside.

Please don't worry!

Remember they've all chosen to work in that department. They really dont care what your bum looks like aesthetically

I had one last year, my medical friend said they see people who are impacted and they have to wear welly boots..... that helped as it made me laugh 😃 I had sedation. Highly recommend. I told the nurse he had a lovely voice.... I also got to let rip with no judgement at all 🤣 they really really don't care.

I am now wondering if you sit in a cafe / library / train station / airport /at work and suddenly exclaim "Ooh!" if you do need an actual poo.

I will be on the look out (hearout?) for any such exclamations and will give them a knowing smile.

This made me hoot 🤣

Completely by reflex, at a similar moment I said "oh hello there".

I wanted the floor to open up at the moment but I was able to giggle about it later.

It's never happened yet, but never say never!

I think it was a combination of the abrupt onset of the sensation, like going from nothing to the feeling of something imminent and catastrophic in less than a second, and the sedative. 😬

Update:

I had the colonoscopy today, and as you all predicted it wasn’t nearly as bad as I was fearing, and no embarrassment at all. If I ever have to have another one I won't dread it.

Thank you everyone for your kindness in calming me down.

They aren't bothered at all and from my experience i was made to feel as comfortable as possible, I forgot I was having the procedure whilst chatting away! Don't forget they see bums all the time so it's no big deal. My bum hole was hairy who gives a shit? I didn't and nor did they!

Well done. So glad to hear it was all ok x