Where the bastard fuck are my glasses

[IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece]

It’s ridiculous!

Came home last night not as sober as one would like…very not sober walked through the apartment door and when straight to bed, didn’t go to the bathroom or anywhere else. Important to note I am blind as a bat without them so would notice if I’d gone to bed without them despite the champagne consumption!

Clothes are neatly folded on the chair in the bedroom, jewellery is on the sideboard. Nothing is out of place but I cannot for the bloody life of me find my bloody glasses. Thankfully I have a spare pair but I want to find my faves ffs!

It’s only me in the bedroom, not particularly big - bed, large windowsill (where they normally go) sideboard and desk/chair). I’m perplexed!

In between the folded clothes?

Oh dear 😂
are you 100% sure you came home wearing them?
Are they in the fridge if you maybe got yourself a glass of water when you got home? Bathroom cupboard where you may have got your toothbrush out or washed your face?
Fallen behind your bedside table or tangled up somewhere in your sheets?

They can't be far away - is there anyone to help you look? Snap on all the lights and look methodically

Did you fall asleep with them in? In the bed 😂

I couldnt find my medicine that I take every morning, that sits beside my glass of water - DH found them in the bin! I have zero recollection and it was a full strip.

On your head?! That's my party piece.... where are my fucking glasses?!... oh!
In their case?
Coat/jacket pocket?
Outside on the path?
Contact where you were last night to see if they're there?

Sometimes when I'm getting undressed I lay my glasses on the bed and then get into bed with them lying on top of the duvet. So the next morning they are possibly lying on the floor somewhere, possibly under the bed. Or even stuck down between the mattress and the headboard or the footboard.

Between the mattress and the headboard.
Side of the bed.
In between the clothes.
Under the pillows.

Fallen next to or under the bed?

I don’t know but ‘where the bastard fuck…’ is a lovely turn of phrase and exactly what I’d say. 😂

Oh don't! This is me most mornings! I try to put them on the side table but if I have been listening to audibles I find my glasses in my bed, dropped off the side of the bed, under my pillow etc etc.

Bastard fuck is my fave 😁

• not in the bedsheets but that is a good thought
• 100% wore them home, had to walk down from the 4th floor, book and track a taxi on my phone and walk up to 3rd floor. Absolutely no chance I did that without glasses, I can barely make it to the bathroom without!
• have moved the bed but may have to lift it up in the air!

In my now sober state it is absurd they’ve gone missing. Clearly it’s not when pissed 😂

I do this all the time! You need to try and workout what you did....if your clothes are folded neatly and your jewellery is placed....did you take make up off with wipes or wash your face etc? You would have taken them off at that point maybe?

Get down on the floor, I mean right down on the floor, even if you have the tidiest bedroom in the world... my house keys did this to me about a week ago. I had put them on the windowsill, but they had slipped down and behind the radiator... they were hanging out the bottom of the radiator when I got down on the floor. I wish you luck!

Could they have fallen off the windowsill behind the radiator or similar (just thinking about my bedroom!)?

In between the mattress and the headboard?

I do this to myself too often. I only have one pair. I have to put on my reading glasses when I use my general pair. Hope you find yours!

Between mattress and side of bed
Tucked inside the pillowcase of your pillow. ( I've found glasses and phone there sometimes.)

YES!!! They were stuck down the radiator…a bit of pulling the radiator and a coat hanger and they are retrieved! Never would’ve though of looking there so thank you!

Thanks all, appreciate the solidarity!

At least they're found!

OMG off to check behind the sitting room radiator. Mine went missing a month ago. Turned the place inside out looking for them.

Exactly what happened to my keys! So pleased you found them!

Dang my glasses aren't behind the radiator. Back to wondering what the heck I did with them.

I was going to ask if you were sure you weren’t wearing them. I had a moment many years ago when I was in floods of tears about losing my glasses, I was wearing them. I wasn’t even that drunk but didn’t clock I could see perfectly rather than me usual -8 blurriness 😅

Glad you found them!

Funnily enough yesterday morning early I looked for my glasses. No sign of them. Then I remembered I used a face wash and had left them by the sink!!!