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Original poster

Dreams. I have never dreamt about my children

37 replies

harijes · 15/02/2025 21:34

I'm a dreamer, very vivid dreams, very real.

Will try and keep this short, but happy to expand.

Married 25 years, four children, all under 6. Just. Adopted twins, then two. (Clarification before anyone asks why so many)

Previous long, hard, court solicitor career.

I can wake and tell you vivid details from dreams, past cases, work trips, things going wrong.

Never, ever have my children featured.

We have had a difficult life, hard working, I'm now at home and work in the nursery. (Retrained). That never features either.

A friend we lost, he is there most nights. Deceased people. But never my DH much.

Is this unusual?

I have many ghosts in my past I would like to lay to rest. Lots of post natal anxiety, both via adoption and losses and biological children.

But why are they never there?

OP posts:
DangerMouseAndPenfoldx · 15/02/2025 21:37

I never dream about my family either. Or even friends, now that I think about it.

I have very vivid dreams, but people I know just don’t seem to feature in them.

I think there is sometimes an idea of them. I might be looking for them, or aware that they are waiting at home.

lnks · 15/02/2025 21:38

I never dream about my children either and I have very vivid dreams.

CrickityCrickets · 15/02/2025 21:38

I had this conversation with my colleagues at work. None of us dream about our kids!

Lorelaigilmore88 · 15/02/2025 21:42

I have very vivid dreams and have never dreamt about my kids. I'm glad though, as I also have vivid nightmares and if i had horrible nightmares about my children that would be awful.

BlueSilverCats · 15/02/2025 21:43

Now that you've mentioned it, DD doesn't really feature in my dreams. Maybe a few? I can only remember one anyway. OH does feature more often, usually by being a prick. Sometimes work/or work related, but most things get "transferred " into my past.

Mostly though it's me being a kid/teenager, or locations/people from my past or absolute randoms.

Last night I dreamt I was in a pub (no idea which) , paid for a couple's dinner(complete strangers), got pissed off when the bloke ordered something stupidly expensive and asked him for my money back and then ended up by chatted up by the bartender (complete strangers) and going on a walk with him. During this whole time I felt/was in my 20's.Then he said he was 20 and I freaked out because that was way too young and I was suddenly 40 again and I woke up.

Most nights I'm more tired after I wake up than when I went to bed. It can also take me a while to come back to reality and get rid of all the feelings caused by the dreams.

pimplebum · 15/02/2025 21:45

I am always on my own in dreams
love my family and spend all my time with them
Often back in time as well

Original poster
harijes · 15/02/2025 21:47

Oh wow this is helpful. I had such another "real" dream last night it got me thinking. When the four of them are my absolute focus why am I seeing all this old stuff.

I googled I never dream of my children and there was very limited results.

Glad to hear I'm not alone.

OP posts:
milkywaygalaxy · 15/02/2025 21:57

I've never really thought about it but actually I've never dreamt of my kids either. I had a dream about a baby, just before I fell pregnant with my first DD but have never dreamt about anything like that since that I can remember. DH has been in my dreams a few times though.

TuesdayRubies · 15/02/2025 21:58

I do dream about my DD, but they are very weird dreams. I wouldn't recommend it!

EmeraldDreams73 · 15/02/2025 21:59

Omg come to think of it, I never dream about my kids either. My dreams are insane as a rule, occasionally feature friends but hardly ever family. Weird.

AtomicBlondeRose · 15/02/2025 22:00

Dreams often are the brains way of dealing with unresolved issues or things you never really got closure on. Your DC are very much resolved in the sense they’re there and present with you so not something the brain needs to figure out.

Original poster
harijes · 15/02/2025 22:02

AtomicBlondeRose · 15/02/2025 22:00

Dreams often are the brains way of dealing with unresolved issues or things you never really got closure on. Your DC are very much resolved in the sense they’re there and present with you so not something the brain needs to figure out.

That would make sense to me. The lost friend in particular.

I just wonder why, after fighting for twenty years for children I never see them but the work I have stopped.

My business partner (former) is there a lot. Platonic. My children's god father.

Interesting

OP posts:
ChompandaGrazia · 15/02/2025 22:04

I’ve worked in the same place for 15 years. I never dream about it.
I left home nearly 35 years ago yet most of my dreams are at my parent’s house. I’ve been in my current house for 12 years and it’s never there.
If DH is there then I just know it’s him, I don’t see him as such.

mycatsanutter · 15/02/2025 22:05

I have dreams every night , but now I'm thinking about it I can't remember ever dreaming about my kids .

BIWI · 15/02/2025 22:05

You don't always remember dreams. Therefore you may well be dreaming about your children, you're just not remembering the dreams.

Original poster
harijes · 15/02/2025 22:06

I just find it so tiring. Like some days I struggle to distinguish between reality and dream. So vivid. Is it a memory or an event.

Yet never have seen a child

OP posts:
SabreIsMyFave · 15/02/2025 22:09

I have had about a dozen dreams with mine in. They are both late 20s now. Although........ I don't think I did dream about them when they were actually under 16..

Weird!

.

SabreIsMyFave · 15/02/2025 22:10

harijes · 15/02/2025 22:06

I just find it so tiring. Like some days I struggle to distinguish between reality and dream. So vivid. Is it a memory or an event.

Yet never have seen a child

Yeah come to think of it, I don't think I have ever dreamt about a child. Whaa? WTAF? 😂

I'm not gonna sleep tonight now!! 😬

thehorsesareallidiots · 15/02/2025 22:10

I never dream of my DC either. It's never worried me. Why would I need to dream of them?

OTOH my dreams frequently involve girls I was at school with and haven't seen for more than twenty years. I also go back to uni repeatedly in my dreams. Who can say why? I've had sex dreams about celebrities I really have no feelings for whatsoever in my waking life. Dreams are usually... not that deep.

SabreIsMyFave · 15/02/2025 22:13

As @thehorsesareallidiots said, I dream about people I have not seen for some 20 years or more. (Several are extended family.) Some I have gone NC with, and I find it disturbing, because there are VERY good reasons I went NC, and to dream about these people is actually horrible.

Original poster
harijes · 15/02/2025 22:13

@thehorsesareallidiots yes so exactly like this. Past events, I wouldn't say I was worried. Just interested. I am so focused on kids, as I said very difficult post natal anxiety around them, lie asleep worrying, yet they never appear in those dreams.

OP posts:
crackadawn · 15/02/2025 22:14

Wow! I've never realised this but I can't remember ever dreaming about mine either, how odd.

Original poster
harijes · 15/02/2025 22:15

So does anyone dream of their children? Daily I mean? If a vivid dreamer? Or have we uncovered a a secret universe mum thing? Go to sleep and worry about shit from years ago but not those children 🤔🫣😂

OP posts:
Original poster
harijes · 15/02/2025 22:17

Obviously some have kindly mentioned a few dreams, but this is nightly, not once have they been there. But old work, old friend is

OP posts:
TheSidewinderSleepsTonite · 15/02/2025 22:17

I dream vividly too and I don't dream about my kids often. I have had a few but they are usually night terrors. Really awful ones where I wake shaking.

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