Oh my lord - stepfather in a thong

[DucklingSwimmingInstructress]

For the first time we're at a swim paradise with my rarely-seen stepfather.

He's in his 70's, built like a short and hairy moon, and he's emerged to swim with two tiny triangles of black cloth covering his grand-child generating areas.

Oh my lord.

I don't want that mental image, thanks!

Now you too will suffer mwahaha

Jeez I thought you were going to be a troll and then I saw your name @DucklingSwimmingInstructress and I know you are a most revered mumsnetter. Therefore this is all true and ARRRGHHH! How awful!

A What?!?!

Goodness me, now I need to fan myself. A lovely surprise-let to counteract the current visual ... dangers.

Just don't stand for it. Buy him a pair of knee length baggy swimming shorts (with his bank card) and just don't speak to him until he puts them on. 🤣

Ah ha ha this is awful! Where do you look?! Avert your eyes!

Oh, your poor eyes. Sorry, but you have made me giggle. I have visions of that scene from Benidorm.

I can't talk to him anyway, he talks over me to the point that my then 4-yo asked to him with 4 yo honesty "why do you always interrupt Mama?"

He's not a bad man at all, just has certain social and sartorial challenges.

I want to see a pic 🤣 Yes, I know I'm weird 😆

I have no idea how I could get away with making a picture of that area without making it obvious I'm looking in a direction that frankly imo no one should except himself, and he probably hasn't been able to see that portion of his anatomy for 35 years.

He won't be the last man (or in some cases woman) to wear swimwear that others do not consider a pretty sight.

I would be tempted to ask him if he's on "a list"

'built like a short and hairy moon' 😂😂😂

Oh dear 😅 That does not sound like a pretty sight! Not a lot you can do apart from keeping your eyes very deliberately above the neck when talking to him 🫣

That’s if someone built like a short and hairy moon has a neck!

I have an image of Danny DeVito being the hen party stripper for Phoebe in Friends!

Is he errrr "impressive"?

🤮

Is the view from the back like cheese wire through camembert?

I was about to post the exact same thing!!

I think he could be on a list of sources materials for Salvador Dali tbh. He's something of a unique individual. Lectures my BiL, who works right on the cutting edge of cosmology, about the Big Bang, me on English literature and my partner on IT security.

He really does mean well, but he's not quite in the same world as the rest of us.

My neighbour of the same vintage doesn't even bother with the black triangle!!!

be thankful!

My dad wanted an all over tan in the 1970s . He made his own very tiny swimwear which he wore to sunbathe in our garden. He would sunbathe totally naked in a screened off area. I'm one of 3. We were all preteens in the late 70s. You have my sympathy Op. Unlike your step dad my dad was tall and slim with a flat bum. Your post has brought it all back.

Rofl YES!

@Hoppinggreen The thought of checking that out makes me want to find the swimming-with-fish area and stock it with Great Whites. Not sure who I'd send in, me or him.

Omg @SnoopySantaPaws and @AngelinaFibres !