Oh my lord - stepfather in a thong

[DucklingSwimmingInstructress]

For the first time we're at a swim paradise with my rarely-seen stepfather.

He's in his 70's, built like a short and hairy moon, and he's emerged to swim with two tiny triangles of black cloth covering his grand-child generating areas.

Oh my lord.

Was that during the mega hot summers of '75 and '76?
There were a lot of very tanned people in those summers, there was also a joke going round: 'where have you been on your holidays? You're as brown as a lawn!'
(Sorry for a bit of a diversion from the Brussels-sprout-with-legs image I have of your stepfather @DucklingSwimmingInstructress !)

Like this:

"DSF, are we supposed to be able to see your bollocks?"

Oh my god, the phrase 'built like a short, hairy moon' has conjured up quite the image.

What has your mum said?

Thank you for that, squash the legs quite a bit and it's not dissimilar.

Mother deceased some time ago. She'd have let him know.

Poor you! 😂

but surely his areas are not "grand-child" generating?!

Well I was skipping a step I suppose. The current oldest representative of the lineage is at the grandchild-stage of life, sort of thing.

I was eating when you gave me that too vivid image...!

I nearly inhaled the nut I was munching. Cheered me up.

This wins todays internet.😂

Is this an actual thong or a pair of budgie smuggling speedos? If it’s an actual thong then yes to PP suggestion of buying him
some shorts. If it’s normal tight speedos then avert your eyes but he’s not wearin anything inappropriate.
would you dream of discussing a woman’s bikini like this?

Last time I went away with my dad I had to text my mum to get her to tell him he needed different swimming trunks, as every time he lowered himself into the pool his bollocks very visibly popped out one of the legs.

Mel from Benidorm.

Jammers or swimshorts with in-built pants. I bought a pair of the latter for my aged father after an 'escapee' incident at the beach whilst Pa sat on a wall. I've not been able to eat baby beets since. 😬🤢

I remember a similar scene in Benidorm (maybe not as bad as you're describing, though). 😂

My own contribution is I was once in a regular swimming pool and some oldish guy late 60s or a bit more, in his tight red trunks, starts doing toe touches at the end of the rectangle pool, with his rear pointed firmly at the lane swimmers and milling bathers. Went on for a few minutes, pure exhibitionism.

Rofl @unsync , baby beet!

It's not exhibitionism in my stepfathers case. He is just entirely oblivious and indifferent to the impact he has on others.

“Tuck your balls back in, Geoff- nobody needs to see those”.

Some skimpy outfits should only be worn by the extremely beautiful. Whether male or female.

I speak as a milky white, stretchmarked pear who would expect averted, embarrassed faces and a mumsnet thread, if I were to venture out in a string bikini.

same here @SensibleSigma , though I escaped the stretch marks and went for extra 'appleness' in body shape.

Yet if you were to come on mumsnet and say that your DIL or FIL had said you shouldn’t wear your swimsuit you’d a have had 600 replies of the “how dare they” “your body your choice” “all bodies are beach ready” etc etc

Yes, because no one gets to tell me what to wear.
I can’t expect them to appreciate the sight though.

Defending the freedom to choose to wear something can be alongside defending that people can find it tasteless or worse.