Really angry

[Shithole101]

I'm all on mn posting about kids room , all the cleaning I have done. Going on about how it's getting better. Trying to work with positive energy. I have been going on about what I'm doing next , the things I Need to do bla bla . But reality is i have done next to fuck all since I finished the boys bedroom on Friday. Tuesday I done 4 lots of washing. Got 3 loads hung up. The 4th has Been in the washing machine wet since Tuesday. The washing that's now dry I just dumped in my room no sorting , no folding nothing. I have left all the shit in the spare room from doing the boys room. All I done yesterday was take a bit of rubbish to the bins. In my head I feel like im really busy. But im not I have done nothing.

Sorry its a mixed post im really angry with myself.

okay, that's your list.

Is this just you doing it, or are your family members going to help?

Just me

ok if it's just you ............

Start anywhere. It doesn't matter where - if you're going to clean the bathroom first or do some hoovering

When you get bored and fed up with doing that first job (could be after 2 minutes or it may take a longer) wander into the kitchen and put the kettle on. Have a cup of tea and a break.

Do another job - a bit more hoovering maybe? / finish cleaning the bathroom? - and then when you've had enough of that (could be after 2 minutes or it could be longer) see if you want another break ............. if you do, go and have a break, come and post on MN if you want, listen to the radio.,have another cup of tea (maybe while you're doing that, decide what you're going to do with the bags of rubbish you need to get rid of) and then go and start another job / finish the job when you feel ready.

I find I work through my housework list better if I mix it up a bit, rather than have a strict list of What I'm Going To Do Today - I just have the list in my head and see what I want to do. I get bored if I have to follow a strict routine/list. It does get done that way - I don't know if that would work for you?

And I'm assuming that you've already thought about getting a cleaner in for a one-off deep clean to get you started?

And be a bit kinder to yourself! You've made massive strides towards the way you want your home to be - and you won't slip back now that you've come this far.

(But, having said all that, I do think that you're taking on too much yourself when you have children old enough to pull their weight)

I'm sorry that you have written such a long post , I already know this though . Its kind of what has got me through so far. I think I have hit a wall but there's no reason for it.

There's always a reason.

I would say that you're really fed up with having to do it all on your own all day and every day.
And it's something that drags you down a little bit more every day that you have to do it without any help or appreciation for what you do.
And I don't blame you!

But something has to change -- either your expectations or the lack of help you have ............

What would make a difference for you? What would you wish for that would make a change? What would help to make a difference? x

I think once I get on top of it (properly) I will be ok. I just need to fully get on top of it all. The plan was to get on top of it all. Keep it ticking over .then have a deep clean/tidy every other weekend when the boys are at their dad's.

I don't think my house will evert be spotless.i don't mind some mess. But I don't want to feel ashamed

Sometimes we have to rest and heal in between bursts of activity.

Perhaps you're not giving yourself enough emotional healing time.

Maybe replan the work leaving planned times for self-care. None of this can happen without a well cared-for you.

You're not a victorian donkey, to be worked until you drop - you're a person who deserves some care too. In fact we wouldn't overwork an animal now, even though we don't give them emotional therapy we understand the need to rest!!

I get that but I have basically done next to nothing for a week.

Kids are back to school Monday. I really wanted a clean slate for when they go back to school. I don't think that's going to happen though.

Enjoy the time you have with them while they’re off.

I still need to get things done. Yeah we can have tome together but that's not all day every day

My storage shelves have arrived. Let's see how long it takes me to put them together 🙃

Your kids probably care more about you than the house.

I understand you've had a tough time but I think it's important to take care of yourself as much as to tidy the house.

Be careful you're not being too unkind to yourself.

Anyway good luck with it all going forwards

90 mins to put a basic shelving unit together. At least its 1 thing done even if its not tidying the house.

I never knew it to be possible to write^^ with a London accent 😆

Ffs 🤣 did you read it in a London accent

Right time to stop being a prick and get back into things . I have put together 1 shelving unit put it under my stairs. So I'm going to sort out that area . Tidy up and clean the ground floor hallway and hoover one set of stairs.

Yaaaay! - Shithole101 is back and ready to kick ass!! 😆

I need a shame picture to kick my butt .

I found this must have Been fate 😅

How are you today?

Must say I really like your hall flooring. And looking at the floor, walls, woodwork that hall looks cluttered obviously, but not dirty.

Have sorted the hall yet? If not could that be your task for today, doing it in bits? One w you get started I get that will take no time.

I have not done half the things I said I would. The skirting is OK because I cleaned them a couple weeks ago. They were pretty dirty before that. I sorted out old paper work binned anything with my old address on it. I had loads of tools etc dumped down the side of my fridge so I sorted that out . So paper work and tools are now stored under the stairs.

There 2 small boxes plus that grey Box that i Need to chuck out. I never hoovered the stairs wiped down the bannisters or cleaned the floor.

I need to sort my washing kids have school tomorrow I have not even sorted their uniform yet.

Had gas safety check on Friday have had no hot water since proper pissed off

I'm gonna hoover my stairs (now) then when I get to my bedroom door I'm going to fold some washing make sure uniforns are there

Sounds like you're getting there @Shithole101 - can I say a big well done for persevering!

Sort of. I did hoover one set of stairs and sort the clean washing. Took me 45 mins . There's more poxy boxes in the hall now ffs.

I feel like energy is being zapped out of me today

Sounds like you have a lot you want to get done, but then feel demotivated and tired.
Hold on to what you have achieved because it reads like a lot!
Have been reading and posting on some of your other threads and would like to recommend A slob comes clean podcast, she talks about making progress and not expecting perfection establishing daily habits that allow you to continue to make progress.
I may have already recommended it 😆