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Original poster

Do you ever feel you "want your mum"?

219 replies

ClassicStripe · 23/10/2023 09:46

I'm not sure how to explain it but sometimes when I'm not feeling great, physically or mentally, I get almost like a primal urge to see my mum. And sometimes I feel like it's not my mum how she is now but from when I was a child. Someone to make things better probably.
When I said this to DH he looked at me like I was bonkers.

OP posts:
Motherofalittledragon · 23/10/2023 22:03

Yes every day I wish I could see her.

EveSix · 23/10/2023 22:15

Hm. I often feel I want my mum and in some ways my mum is my greatest cheer-leader. But often, she gets it quite wrong and I come away from the interaction feeling bad:
"Well, you've made a rod for your own back with that one," about SEN DC with sensory issues, "You've only got yourself to blame ‐you've always been too soft on them," when I had a bit of a moan about being left to do a chore alone, endless "Why don't you just... / What you need to do is..." advice, as if I hadn't thought about that already, or knowing full well that "just doing X" isn't feasible for me, even though it might have been easy for her, 40 years ago. DM is becoming a bit more abrasive as she ages -both DC have also commented on it, and some of things she's said to them has made me really irritated and hurt on their behalf.
But I still get little rushes of wanting her, and absolutely adore her, despite being a tad wary.

NotMeekNotObedient · 23/10/2023 22:26

Yes, I've felt this many many times, both before she died and a lot after. She was a wonderful mother.

yummytummy · 23/10/2023 22:27

Never. like many others on here had a horrific abusive childhood. certainly never felt any safety or comfort from the woman. like others she never protected me from being hurt. i also feel jealous of those who had "real" mothers. i can't relate to it at all. those who say they "can't bear the thought" of being without them what is it exactly you would miss? some sort of comfort feeling?

Morewineplease10 · 23/10/2023 22:42

I feel more this way about my dad but think I'll feel this about my mum when she's gone.

LizardOfOz · 23/10/2023 22:45

No I never get that feeling and I never felt it as a child either which is sad.
I do remember once being in a friend's house as a child and wanting to go home but it was my dad who was at home that night (my mum was away). I felt so homesick and he collected me. I suppose that's the feeling you mean

Ormonde · 23/10/2023 22:52

I feel like that when I’m very unwell. Having seen how my own kids desperately want me when they’re upset or poorly, I think it’s a primal thing. Once I visited a relative in hospital and one of the other patients was an elderly lady in her 80s who was just sobbing for her mum, it was awful.

Mammyloveswine · 23/10/2023 22:53

I lost my mam suddenly last christmas.. lots of times I really do want me mam!

HughCanoe · 23/10/2023 22:55

barbarahunter · 23/10/2023 10:04

Not really. My mum was mostly emotionally unavailable when I was growing up.

This was my mum too. She's been described as 'cold, odd, weird, aloof' and didn't much like me. I'm no contact now.

CoodleMoodle · 23/10/2023 22:55

When I had DD we had a really rough birth and were stuck in hospital. On day 3 (the bad day!) I felt like I was losing my mind. DH tried to comfort me but it didn't help. MIL (who I adore) arrived and tried, nothing. I was upset but just about holding it together until DM arrived, then I lost it completely and just sobbed.

So yes, sometimes! It was nearly 10 years ago and I still remember the relief when she came into the room. Didn't happen when we had DS but things went much smoother that time.

JockTamsonsBairns · 23/10/2023 23:00

Never, sadly.

There is no circumstance that isn't made worse by the involvement of my mother.

Loubelle70 · 23/10/2023 23:02

HughCanoe · 23/10/2023 22:55

This was my mum too. She's been described as 'cold, odd, weird, aloof' and didn't much like me. I'm no contact now.

Show quote history

Same ♥️

Carsarelife · 23/10/2023 23:13

No as my mum never cuddled me once, never read me a story or said she loved me. Always finding fault and telling me I was scruffy or fat. No support whatsoever

Ladyof2022 · 23/10/2023 23:19

Pretty much everyday. Because my mum is the only person who has ever loved me. That's not to say that I have haven't had a string of men who pretended to love me, by the way, but it turned out they never did it was just words they said to get what they wanted. My dad hated me, but my mum loved me, truly loved me. And so of course I wish she was still with us.

Saschka · 23/10/2023 23:19

ClassicStripe · 23/10/2023 09:46

I'm not sure how to explain it but sometimes when I'm not feeling great, physically or mentally, I get almost like a primal urge to see my mum. And sometimes I feel like it's not my mum how she is now but from when I was a child. Someone to make things better probably.
When I said this to DH he looked at me like I was bonkers.

All the time! My mum can fix anything (not really, but she makes me feel like everything can be fixed). When I am having a wobble about something, I want to talk to her not DH. I will be devastated when she is no longer around.

weegiemum · 23/10/2023 23:25

I didn't think I did.

But in the last couple of months I've had a breast lump investigated and I've really found myself wanting my stepmum, who has been through this.

She's the closest I've had to a mum since I was 12 (and my mum left the family. Despite any attempts to come back, I just can't tolerate her and we've been NC for 20 years).

karotene · 23/10/2023 23:28

No, I've never had that feeling. My mother has never been a source of comfort for me and I have kept most of the significant traumas I've experienced in life from her, because I have known not to expect any support. I am NC with her now.

milkysmum · 23/10/2023 23:29

No, never. I see my mum often, every week at least, but I never get the urge you describe. I wish I did, but I just don't.

DahliaMacNamara · 23/10/2023 23:29

I miss my mother all the time, but don't have that 'I want my mum' feeling except in very extreme circumstances. Quite often, though, when I feel overwhelmed by the stress of being a grown-up and feel like opting out, I quietly mutter to myself that 'I wanna go home'.

RobinGet · 23/10/2023 23:30

I don’t feel like I want my mum when I’m feeling ill or a bit down, but I do want her when things go well. She was always the first person I’d tell any good news to, new job, new house etc. She’s been gone for 10 years plus now and I still feel the urge to speak to her when I’ve got something exciting to share. She was a beautiful soul.

CloudsHailRainbows · 23/10/2023 23:30

Oh God YES!! Sadly, my Mum passed away last year but I still feel like this! Wish I could have just one more day with her. 💔

Milarky · 23/10/2023 23:39

I can't sleep. My son is in in the military and going away to somewhere I really don't him to to be near.

I want my mum. To sit on her lap, snuggle in, feel her stroke my hair and for her to tell me that everything is going to be ok.

But I'm the mum now and I'm the strong one telling everyone that everything is going to be ok.

I wish I was religious so I knew she was watching over him.

I'm REALLY wanting my mum tonight.

cbuew9 · 24/10/2023 00:08

sending hugs 🤗

GiddySardine · 24/10/2023 00:22

My Mother is a Covert Narc

So nah

CallMeBettyBoop · 24/10/2023 00:30

Every. Single. Day.

She died in 1988.

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