Do you ever feel you "want your mum"?

[ClassicStripe]

I'm not sure how to explain it but sometimes when I'm not feeling great, physically or mentally, I get almost like a primal urge to see my mum. And sometimes I feel like it's not my mum how she is now but from when I was a child. Someone to make things better probably.
When I said this to DH he looked at me like I was bonkers.

Yes, and she's been dead for 22 years.

Yes because life is hard and sometimes you want someone else to look after you for a change.

I feel about the same. I used to live without relying on Mum’s emotional support. She is just not good at it. She can’t get me any practical support either as live far away (not that I’m after it)
Tbh I think I have such a different life from hers that she just can’t relate to my problems. Her life was very difficult but her problems were typical for her generation and a bit more straightforward.

I do hope I’m not the same with my DD, at least I’m aiming to it.

I do, she can still comfort me in a way nobody else ever could. She's a really wonderful woman.

I get this. I was told I needed brain surgery last year and I spoke to her on the phone as she was getting on the plane coming back from holiday, I told her I was scared and she said she would be here as soon as I woke up. When I woke up in the HDU and she was there, I burst into tears with relief and knew I was going to be ok because she was there.
Sometimes when I see her I feel like everything is going to be alright. She's my rock.

I still have my Mum but she has Parkinson’s & is gradually getting more frail. Really miss going out shopping or for lunch with her - we always used to have such a giggle.

Yes. Just a hug from my mum whilst I have a little cry would be amazing after what's happened over the last four years.

Mine's been dead for 34 years. It was a sudden death so I never got to say goodbye. Every time life is tough I want my mum. Crying just typing this.

No, not particularly. She’s fab in a lot of ways, a bit difficult in others and we have a pretty traumatic shared past, mostly not her fault, some was. I love her but I’ve never really had that ‘I need my mum’ feeling. Not when I was on the verge of death with sepsis (altho I must say, she did save my life by forcing me to go to hospital and kicking up a royal fuss on my behalf), not after having my son, none of the obvious scenarios anyway.

I get on fine with my mum but never had that kind of connection with her that I can remember and when in distress I've never thought I want my mum. I wish I did though, it sounds nice. Although I suppose not because lots of you are sharing how you feel that but can't have it because she's gone.

Yes. I miss the simple days my mother will take care of everything for me. Knowing that I’m always safe with her. I hope I’m going to be as good a mother as her. Unfortunately I moved halfway across the world but hopefully we can move back before she gets too old so my kids get to experience how amazing my mother is

DM died several years ago. I think I want the mum I wished she was, the mum I try to be.

There's a short story I love where the mum saves her daughter - it's a flip of Victorian fairy tales - and I love it but it always makes me sad, I think because I know my mum wouldn't be coming for me.

I think I experience more of a "I don't want to be an adult dealing with this" feeling. I'll want to off load and get advice.

I haven't felt "I want my mum" since I was a small child. However I'm not very tactile, and she's still alive and I have regular contact with her, so I think that is the reason for that.

I wish my mum was someone I could turn to when I'm down, but my mums far too needy and it's always about her, she comes to me with all her worries and problems, and has done this since I was very young, but has no ability to listen to mine.
I have a good husband and friends who I turn to instead.

No. My mum drives me mad. She's extremely hard work and genuinely one of the most irritating people I've ever met.

She's the last person I want when I'm poorly. 🤣

Not really. I had quite a complicated relationship with her. She loved us, but she was extremely emotional sometimes. They called it 'nerves' at that time. Now it would be diagnosed as a mental health issue and probably treated.
But I realized as I grew up that her own life had been very traumatic.

Yes I do. It feels a lot like when my toddlers say "I want my Mummy" when they are upset. Her health is not good and I am dreading the day she wont be on the other end of the phone.

Yes.

I really hope my young adult sons feel
this way.

My mum’s dead. I did love her, but I never ‘needed’ her in any way.

For me, it’s the feeling that no one is on my side now, she would always back me. Although my husband is pretty good, he’s not her. We had a kind of shorthand for communication which I miss.

My mum has never been especially demonstrative, my dad always used to say "We love you" for both of them, never heard it from her. However, I have lovely memories of my childhood, our home was always clean, we ate homecooked dinners every evening and, pre-school, she spent hours sitting with me on her lap teaching me to read and write. My dad would go to the pub every night and, if I couldn't sleep, I'd go downstairs and curl up on her knee to watch Hill Street Blues or Cagney and Lacey or whatever she was watching at the time. I do sometime pine for my childhood, wish I could go back for a couple of weeks of being looked after with no responsibilities. My dad passed away a few years ago and I'm now the main carer for my mum, sometimes she drives me mad but I try to remember everything she did for me as a child.

I had my twins when my mum had dementia. I missed her help and support so badly- she was a lovely mum.
But dementia had robbed her of her perceptions, her understanding and most of all, her empathy.
I was so tired and lost one day but needed her so badly.
I sat by her in the care home and rested my head in her lap and cried.
Some part of her must have automatically triggered a response as she stroked my hair gently- albeit whilst looking vacantly out of the window.

No, never actually. I'm in my early 50s and my mum is alive and well-ish. We have always got on really well and I had a happy childhood, but I don't remember ever as an adult having an 'I want my mum' moment. My parents are supportive and I'd talk to them about most problems. They would be sympathetic and help in any way they could, but I don't have that visceral need for mothering. We aren't a very emotional or demonstrative bunch!

I think sometimes what I want is someone to 'mother' me - tuck me up under a blankie with a hot water bottle and bring me soup and the sort of 'its ok love, mums here' cuddle.
My mum was never that sort (she was lovely, but not a hugger), and shes been dead 3 years, dementia took her many years before that. But yes, sometimes I want that mothering feeling.