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Original poster

Your 9 and 10 year old DS's get home at about 6...what do you do with them to amuse them and keep them off screens until bedtime?

39 replies

tatteddear · 21/04/2023 14:45

I have two DSS's the above ages. What stuff can I do with them that keeps them off screens (PlayStation obsessed DS1/watching crap on iPad obsessed DS2)?

My two DD's are older teens but when they were these ages we would walk the dogs (dss's wont do this), bake, sometimes do little beauty evenings, watch telly all together-(again Dss's won't ever agree on want to watch), do arts and crafts type bits.

DS2 will sometimes play a board game but that's about it.

OP posts:
thevery · 21/04/2023 14:46

Homework?

Then I would allow them some screentime/downtime tbh.

In the summer I'd encourage them to get outside.

Original poster
tatteddear · 21/04/2023 14:48

They don't really seem to get much homework to do beyond reading bits.

OP posts:
BogRollBOGOF · 21/04/2023 14:54

My 10yo comes home from school and games online with his friends. 4x a week later in the evening, he's out for sport/ clubs so that zoning out time is important. After he comes back in we have dinner then reading time, which may involve him drawing or playing while I read to him or he has an audio book.

If they're coming in at 6, they've already had a long day of being switched on and being sociable so I wouldn't be trying to micro-manage it.

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purpleme12 · 21/04/2023 14:57

Mine is 9.
We play together.
Same as on weekends.
That might be imaginative play eg playing with babies and the soft toys etc etc etc, playing outside, on trampoline (me watching).
She does like to play board games type things as well

Drlovestrong · 21/04/2023 14:58

Get them out on their bikes, in the garden kick a play around. Anything they like to do that doesn't involve a screen?

Drlovestrong · 21/04/2023 14:58

Kick a ball.i mean

CurlewKate · 21/04/2023 15:06

If they don't get home from school til 6 surely there's no problem with a bit of screen time? They'll be tired!

stargirl1701 · 21/04/2023 15:10

Playing outside, badge work for Cubs and Brownies, jigsaw puzzle, board game, DD1 likes STEM toys, drawing, instrument practise, reading, chores, etc.

Original poster
tatteddear · 21/04/2023 15:14

There is nothing they like to do that doesn't involve a screen, outside of football practice/games.

Ok-we'll this is encouraging. I was feeling worried about the screen time and thinking it was odd but from these replies maybe not (in the week-but it is excessive on weekends so we do need some alternatives then).

OP posts:
Gymmum82 · 21/04/2023 15:19

Mine have clubs 3 nights a week. I dont have any issue with screens to chill out after a long day. They don’t have to be playing every second of every day. Let them play computer games etc. They should be allowed some of their own fun

N4ish · 21/04/2023 15:21

I don't see any problem with allowing an hour or so of screen time if they get home at 6 after a busy day.

joan12 · 21/04/2023 15:33

The people suggesting baking and stem toys do not have 14/15 year olds! Totally normal op is they are getting back at 6. If you think how the rest of their day they will be doing all the structured things others are in charge of - lessons, clubs etc - this is their free time to unwind as they wish

joan12 · 21/04/2023 15:36

Oh wait, sorry I read that as year 9! This is what my yr 9 does but he is very busy at school. For age 9 and 10, hmmmm I'm less sure to be honest. My 9 year old isn't allowed screen time eg tablet in the week. He does watch a bit of TV to unwind but also reads and does homework and Kumon. He might play some football outside or table tennis against the wall.Has a bath most nights to relax, which takes 20 mins or so too.

DelurkingAJ · 21/04/2023 15:37

If it’s any comfort…

DSs are 10 and 7. Childminder feeds them and has them until 6. Then they do reading (DS2) and music practice (DS1) and have tea time. That takes us to 6:30. They then have 30 minutes screen time. 7:00 for bath, milk, teeth, stories, bed at 8:00.

This is if there are no late clubs. And they will, weather permitting, roar around outside from the moment they get back from school until 6 (with a break for supper).

SirChenjins · 21/04/2023 15:40

Can’t you compromise and let them have some screen time after they’ve played a game/ridden their bikes/whatever? If they’re not getting home till 6 then that’s a long day - presumably they’ve been in after school clubs until then? If do, a bit of screen time along with some non-screen play and dinner doesn’t seem unreasonable imo.

Nuevabegin · 21/04/2023 15:44

@tatteddear out of interest do your dds spend much time on their phones?

museumum · 21/04/2023 15:46

Mine have up to an hour helping set the table, eating and clearing. About an hour on screens then shower, pjs, and no screens in bedrooms so reading books and comics before bed.

lunaloveroo · 21/04/2023 15:52

Mine does swimming 2 evenings per week then hockey another. The others they chill and do homework as they need a rest. They also do sports for a few hours at the weekend.

Witchofcawdor · 21/04/2023 16:13

My 7 and 11 year old DSS's were obsessed with computers games when they first came to live with us full time. They would have huge meltdowns if not allowed on and had zero interest in anything else. It's been 2 years of battles and gradually reducing the time they were allowed on to the stage that this morning I actually commented to DH that they now barely mention their computer and have a much healthier relationship with it.

We did this by basically just not allowing them on/limiting the time they got on them alongside encouraging them to develop other interests and activities. At first there was a lot of push-back, saying everything else was boring, they didn't want to play outside, there was nothing else to do... we would just keep encouraging them to find something to keep themselves entertained and ignoring the complaints. DH would even just tell them they had to go outside and play on nice days, even if they didn't want to (the only reason they didn't want to was so they could stay in and play the computer). This had led to them now developing other interests- oldest DSS has just been accepted into a competitive swimming team as they both took up swimming, they now love getting out on their bikes and just generally playing outside like regular kids. They also like to draw now too and are both really good. It's done wonders for their behaviour and social skills.

They still occasionally play their computers but because they will go for long stints without playing then it means I don't feel as bad when they go on when the weather is bad.

ToThineOwnSelfBe · 21/04/2023 16:16

Mine are 6 and 10 and they do chores, mostly, if they don't have after school actives (they do drama and play a couple of sports). They help me prep/make dinner (depending on their ability), they tidy their rooms, take out trash, load and unload the dishwasher, set the table. When there's not much to do chore-wise, they play out or read or do Lego as time allows. We've been intentional about buying them outdoor play stuff (climbing frames, slack lines, trampolines, bikes, football nets etc.) to encourage them to play outside as much as possible. They will still always ask for screen time, but they actually spend a large proportion of the day at school on computers/iPads and such and their pediatrician told me that all counts toward the total "screen time" amount per day, so I do try to limit it. Sometimes screen time after school is a necessity (DH and I do some WFH, so occasionally take meetings at that time) maybe once a week, maybe slightly less. I think you do the best you can, but in a culture where most of us are glued to screens all day long, it's not really surprising that kids will want to be as well.

Newuser82 · 21/04/2023 16:58

My 10 year old has a few evening hobbies, other than that he will play with his younger brother, outside in the light nights, inside in the winter, do homework, read, help cook tea, fo swimming, go for a walk with the dogs. We do tend to have a chill out night on a Friday though where they just watch a film or something.

He does like to play board games also and card games such as uno.

redskylight · 21/04/2023 17:13

If they don't get home till 6 presumably they spending the time between the end of school and then on general playing/activity clubs/sports.

And if you take out time for homework, eating dinner and getting ready for bed, there really isn't a lot of time left. I wouldn't be that bothered with keeping them off screens tbh. If they've been at after school clubs till 6, they are probably tired and want to wind down.

Beezknees · 21/04/2023 17:32

My DS is older but I never really worry about screen time. As long as his schoolwork isn't suffering and it's not giving him an attitude problem I'm happy for him to wind down on the PlayStation.

namelessfornow · 21/04/2023 17:46

Watching with interest. My child is nearly 9, and has a club 6/7 days but when at home is constantly moaning for the Xbox, which I'm not keen on during weekdays as the behaviour goes downhill after a session...

UsingChangeofName · 21/04/2023 17:50

What have they been doing until 6 ? As that might change my answer.

However, I don't see the issue with some screen time.
Presumably in this time they are also fitting in eating, getting ready for bed (baths, showers, getting changed, reading, etc?). It's not like they will be on a screen for 6 hours solid.