Your 9 and 10 year old DS's get home at about 6...what do you do with them to amuse them and keep them off screens until bedtime?

[tatteddear]

I have two DSS's the above ages. What stuff can I do with them that keeps them off screens (PlayStation obsessed DS1/watching crap on iPad obsessed DS2)?

My two DD's are older teens but when they were these ages we would walk the dogs (dss's wont do this), bake, sometimes do little beauty evenings, watch telly all together-(again Dss's won't ever agree on want to watch), do arts and crafts type bits.

DS2 will sometimes play a board game but that's about it.

They get home at 6 because they are at school some way away, nearer their mums. They go in a cab to hers til about half four then we get them and they come back to ours. It's a weird court order thing. Unfathomable family court decision.

Are my DD's on their phones a lot someone asked? They both play a lot of sport (football for one, rowing for the other, and they both normally go to the gym after school on non practice nights) but other than that one is glued to her phone, the other will be more likely to be with me watching a bit of TV-we watch mindless re runs of modern family or friends tbh or sometimes something more cerebral ( but not often ) or going for Dog walk as the nights get lighter

The routine is back at about 5.45-6 on no. Football nights, dinner, screens, shower, bed at 9 for the younger one, 9.30 for the older. Just feel like we don't see them to interact much during the week-but maybe it's normal?

I just tell mine to get off screens and go and play. They'll read, draw, go out and play etc.

Can you not insist on dog walking?

6 - get ready for bed whilst I sort dinner. Eat, then teeth and bed at 8 to read/be read to for a bit.

We don't allow video games in the evenings in the school week, which they know so they don't ask. We insist they play and so they do. Typically with each other. They will go outside and play football/badminton, they will play with lego etc. They will make up games in the basement, they will help us cook, they sometimes watch a show with us or we will play a board game. They also shower/take baths, do homework, do chores and we still like to read together so that is basically the evening.

I tell them that they can only have a video game player if they can prove they can still play and do other things and that if they become "obsessed" then it will go the way of the dodo bird.

9 seems late for the 9yo. My dd does Lego, drawing, audio book.

Football. Will play until it’s time for bed, and are up and out playing before I’m up on a Saturday morning 😂

I wouldn't be bothered about screen time after 6.00 if it's TV or films, not so good to be randomly surfing YouTube for instance, and you should have a cut off for computer games, I think my cut off for my DS was an hour before bed. But I do think the bedtimes seem late, mine would have been in bed around 8.00 at the same age. So if you're sticking with the later bedtimes you probably do want to delay them going on screens until a bit later.

Get outside. We have a goal which is popular with this age. Read a book. Help me with something like making dinner. This said, if they've not been on screens all day, I don't mind them playing games or watching something.

Evenings it’s usually screens here. Often watching something whilst making something crafty. Sometimes on a video call to friend to do homework, play Minecraft or Roblox. By the time we throw tea into the equation then it’s not really that long as it’s lights out at 8:30 here - my kids need their sleep. Some nights they do have guides or ferry one around to drama so the other spends time in the car back and forth. Last week was nice weather so DD10 went out to play with friends at the park.

Weekends, they do activities most of Saturday morning until about 2pm. So happy to chill for the rest of the day on screens if they want til we go out again around 5:30-7:30 and back again to watch family tv. Sundays is weather dependent. Nice weather we might get out - national trust, English heritage, geocaching. Bad weather and it’s in the house. Often screens but I don’t stress. I like to watch my tv as well. Sometimes we find stuff to watch together - big bang theory at the moment after enjoying young sheldon. I know they have older age earrings but we watch together and often get into random discussions. Sometimes there’s homework. Youngest might want to do baking as well.

You need to find a happy compromise with screens for what works for you and not what other tell you. One of my children is autistic and has lots of scheduled activities she enjoys attending but then it’s her screens - tv and iPad. That’s fine. She doesn’t socialise with others much. Youngest likes to get out with friends but kids don’t seem to be out playing much these days so she’s often disappointed there’s no one to play with.

OP- do you mean age 9/10 or Year 9/10? I just wondered as you mentioned them getting taxis on their own, having phones, going to the gym and being into rowing?

How do they spend their time ar their mums before coming to you?

My 10 year old gets home about 4, he reads a lot, plays guitar, plays on his tablet a bit but it gives him migraines so this is limited, plays imaginary games with his sister (7), draws, watches a bit of TV (if he and sister can agree!) sometimes plays chess with me if I have time as I'm studying atm. He swims twice a week but other days are quite chilled after school.

I wouldn’t want that much gaming time, would probably divide up the week and say Mon/Tues one of them chooses what to watch on tv, Weds/Thurs the other one chooses, Fri they can game.

This is loosely what my 10yo has. Plus lots of clubs.