How can I slim down and tone up in as short time as possible?? Please help

[Needmakeover]

I have a significant event coming up in 3 weeks, I am going to sleep with someone I've been dating for the first time (divorced following a really abusive marriage, this is the first person since exH). I really want to lose weight for it and tone up. What is the best way to go about doing this? I don't want to be healthy, 1lb a week, steady weight-loss. I just want to give myself a kick-start, if that makes sense, so I feel a bit more confident in front of the new bloke. We could wait longer but honestly I don't want to. I am really lactose intolerant so avoid anything with dairy anyway. I think bread etc makes me bloated (to the extent I have been asked if I am preggo) so thinking could go GF as well...? Are there any exercises that would make a rapid impact in a short period of time? Please no "love your body" responses; I want to change it as am overweight and not at all toned. I am especially self-conscious about my belly, which is like an apron and my bum which is kind of flat but also covered in cellulite. I have asked my friends but they are all happily married which nice DHs so I don't think they get the significance of being naked in front of a new person in your early 40s. Thank you for reading 🙂

No carbs, I lost almost a stone in 3 weeks doing this, it is hard and not really healthy but it gives you fast results.

I can guarantee you that that will not have been 1 stone of fat

What's your BMI?

Or weight and height OP ?

@JoandLily
“No carbs, I lost almost a stone in 3 weeks doing this, it is hard and not really healthy but it gives you fast results.”

There will be weight loss but mostly water.

For every gram of carbohydrate you consume you retain 3 grams of water.

Keto gives good fat loss results but it’s a lifestyle change also and it’s more long term fat loss if you’re not going to end up feeling ill.

Why are you putting your body through this for a man you've only just met? Is he going on what must equate to a 3 week starvation diet to look different. I bet you anything he'll shave and put on clean underwear and that's as far as it goes. Almost zero effort.

Mental! Unfortunately you've asked people not to tell you the healthy option which is to not try and fix yourself. Maybe you've been bingewatching social media or something. If so, there's no hope.

Not going to give you the love yourself crap

That's right, because being comfortable in your own skin and being an independent woman who doesn't see why they have to change themselves for a bloke to whom they owe nothing, is crap?

Sad.

There are some INSANE comments verging on pro-ana advice here. OP - he won't care. Men don't. Don't crash diet, don't suck it in, up your water, eat your vegetables, have a blow dry, grin and go to town having fun. I hope you have a great time.

👍 @BellatrixLestrangesHeatedCurlers
The last time i checked, MN was about empowered women being themselves and not pandering to patriarchal priviledge. Where has that gone? Men make such scant effort they probably only think about the date 30 mins before they get ready lol!

We're not quite that simple - but I certainly wouldn't expect (or be even slightly encouraging) a new partner to crash-diet for me!
I've had partners of all shapes and sizes, and by far and away personality and chemistry is the most attractive thing of all.

Relax, take a bit of time before-hand to chill out and refocus and I'm sure it'll go fine.

Thanks so much for all the replies! I will definitely go for a tan.
I've decided to cut out carbs a lot and eat mostly protein and veg. This will be hard as I have a very sweet tooth!

Please - has anyone had one of those beauty treatments for your belly fat? A wrap? Did it work??? Thank you xxx

I appreciate all the posts saying not to worry about how I look, that he won't care, etc. but it matters to me and I wish people would respect this instead of telling me I'm a victim of the patriarchy.

5 foot 9, and I am 105kg. I don't look obese but according to the NHS BMI calculator, I very much am.

But he presumably already knows how you look and has continued to see you, so that sounds really positive. Do what you need to do in terms of tanning and lingerie to feel good, but things like belly wraps etc aren’t going to make much difference at all.

I hope it all goes really well OP, and I hope you’ve been encouraged by some of the healthier and safer advice on this thread about how you can make some positive changes for yourself, and yourself alone!

No man is a prize, just remember that!

The advice in this thread is ridiculous. He won’t care what you look like when you’re on his dick. Men don’t look at the mantle when they’re poking the fire.

Cabbage soup diet for 1 week. Lots of recipes online and it definitely works.
BUT the weight always comes back.
(Ps it's not strictly cabbage soup)

OP it’s good if you’re wanting to lose weight and get fit and toned but do it for you, not for a man you’ve never met.
Do it as a lifestyle change for you.But it’s a longer term thing.
Do it if it’s going to make you feel more confident in yourself, not in order to make yourself sexually attractive to him.

The date will be a good test for you to set him.

If he doesn’t like you the way you are, it will say a lot about him and you will have dodged a bullet.

What counts most is chemistry and feeling connected.

Your attitude on this date should be “ is he good enough for me ?” not “ am I good enough for him?”

Give yourself some power.

I've just lost ten pounds in 3 weeks doing intermittent fasting, cutting out alcohol and minimising sugar to natural sugars only (so in berries and so on). I feel a lot better for it and it's been pretty easy.

I tried a wrap once, long ago. It made my skin feel tighter, but when they say you will lose inches, they measure you in about a hundred different places and add up all the mm here and there together…

Unfortunately @Zipettydooda we have been told not to give advice that equates to self-love and acceptance. We are only allowed to give the OP tips on how to starve herself and tone up in 2 weeks through any means of torture possible because that's the only way you could ever hope to achieve the impossible even if at risk to one's health.

shame, your advice is top-notch and absolutely what any life coach or counsellor would advocate, but some people don't see the value of wisdom.