I know I'll get slammed for this but I really regret becoming a mother. He's almost 5 and I'm really trying but it's just hard work. He's not hard work just motherhood is. He's actually really good. Split with his dad when he was 1.5. He is involved but all on his terms so I can never plan anything as he only gives me his shifts a week or so in advance. I see childfree people and I'm jealous