Your favourite phrases learned on Mumsnet

[Relentlessrose]

What are the best phrases you've learnt on mumsnet?

I think my favourite is 'who pissed on your chips' also calling the swimming pool the swimming baths which I have permanently adopted

If the grass is always greener, tend to your own grass

I rather like the grass is always greener because it's fertilised with bullshit

Also 'red flag bunting' always seems like a nice phrase for warning someone off someone. Like a little warning party.

I'd never heard 'bunfight' before I came here.

I love 'Did you mean to be so rude?'.

Hoofwanking Spanglecunt

Don’t see it much these days though……

And 'ducks in a row'.

Off you fuck cunty chops

Off you fuck cunty chops. I think it may have been on a thread moaning about swearing but could be wrong.

Has to be ‘darker on’ and ‘spider willies’ for me

*darked

Fanny gallops!

Wind your neck in OP

Cocklodger

Not my circus, not my monkeys.

No is a complete sentence.

Odfod

I rather like the grass is always greener because it's fertilised with bullshit

Oooh I haven't seen that one before! It's good.

I have to just include this little picture too, which another poster put on a thread this week and I thought was brilliant.

@MiddleOfThePack

Wind your neck in OP

I shan't Instead I shall give my head a wobble

It was always the swimming baths, or baths when we were kids.

I like wankbadger and off you fuck, cuntychops

Twat badger is a favourite description of mine, since reading it on MN.

Yeah we've always said swimming baths, swimming pool is the pool itself 🤔

ODFOD here too. Haven't heard it for a while though.

That doesn’t work for me.

The grass is greener because it is astro turf.

It is an invitation not a summons.