Your favourite phrases learned on Mumsnet

[Relentlessrose]

What are the best phrases you've learnt on mumsnet?

I think my favourite is 'who pissed on your chips' also calling the swimming pool the swimming baths which I have permanently adopted

Cheeky Fucker - or CF for short. There is a firm of builders round here with CF emblazoned on their van. Makes me want to avoid them!

Not my monkeys, not my circus

I think I actually use this daily which makes me fairly unproductive at work

LTB
Hope that helps
Cock lodger
Cheeky fucker

May her next poo be a hedgehog.

I was new when I first saw this, and knew I'd be happy here

And on the same thread, which was about toxic ILs

My god, even the dog's a cunt.

@Rogue1001MNer

And on the same thread, which was about toxic ILs

My god, even the dog's a cunt.

Love it!

More red flags than a communist parade

I've just remembered another two.

The one where the OP went on a dinner date and had an attack of diarrhoea. She went to the ladies and when she returned, her date said something like "Darling are you alright, only you smell faintly of botty." I laughed until I couldn't breathe when I read that.

Talking of bodily functions, I think it was on MN probably ten or more years ago now that I first read the term 'shark week' for a woman's period. I remember being momentarily confused until I realised sharks can apparently smell blood from a very long way away in the water. I still laugh when I think about it.

Fuck off to the far side of fuck and when you get there fuck off some more
Cheeky Fucker
Cock Lodger

I clearly take on board all the sweary phrases 😁

"Carby little bastards"
Said about peas in one of the low carb threads