Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

your child's funniest jokes

29 replies

panimac · 11/03/2022 09:59

Hello Chatters, need some jokes I can 'borrow' for you 8yo to tell in class. Hit me with your offspring's funniest jokes, please (pretty please) TY

OP posts:
Original poster
panimac · 11/03/2022 14:06

This came out all garbled. Meant to say:
Hello Chatters, need some jokes I can 'borrow' from you for my 8yo to tell in class. Hit me with your offspring's funniest jokes, please (pretty please) TY

OP posts:
SophB15 · 11/03/2022 14:28

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick!

Cao77 · 11/03/2022 14:34

What's got a bottom at the top.....A leg!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

8 year olds
FlippyFloppyFlappy · 11/03/2022 14:35

@SophB15

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick!

That's my favourite joke, and also the only one I can ever remember.
Hanitiser · 11/03/2022 14:36

Knock, Knock....
Who's there?
Europe!
Europe who?!
No, you're a poo!!

Outofexcuses · 11/03/2022 14:36

What do you do with a wombat?

Play wom.

RainbowToes · 11/03/2022 16:08

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the toilet?

...because it has a silent p

Fartymcfart · 11/03/2022 16:12

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Cows go!

Cows go who!

No silly, Cows go Mooooooo

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 11/03/2022 16:13

DS made this one up himself:

What do you call a singing TV?

Sony Mitchell!

Beachtrip · 11/03/2022 16:14

Knock knock

Who's there

Interrupting cow

Interrupting co....

MOOOOOOO

ValkyrieVik · 11/03/2022 16:16

Q: What did the left eye say to the right eye?

A: Between you and me, something smells!

(Told to me by ds13 yesterday bless him)

ValkyrieVik · 11/03/2022 16:17

Beachtrip I love that 😂

WithASpider · 11/03/2022 16:18

How do you count cows?

With a cow-culator!

My nephew's favourite 😁

LosGibertyisacelebration · 11/03/2022 16:18

What does a gay horse eat?

Haaa-aaaaaay!

SpottyStripyDuvet · 11/03/2022 16:40

What's yummy and abandoned?

A desserted island

RicherThanYew · 11/03/2022 16:47

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk Grin

(As told by Lea, 7, from S.Wales Grin )

Clawdy · 11/03/2022 16:47

Have you heard of the bird with no legs, it's called the Oomibum bird. Every time it lands on the ground it says "Oo mi bum! "

HeyMicky · 11/03/2022 16:54

How do you get Pikachu onto a bus?
Pokémon

Ahhhhhbisto · 11/03/2022 16:57

I would tell you the joke about a wall but you will never get over it! (Dd 8)

doodlejump1980 · 11/03/2022 16:57

What do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a pig?
Jurassic Pork!! 😂

bassackwards · 11/03/2022 16:59

What did the fast tomato say to the slow tomato? "Come on, ketchup!"

Why did the carrot cross the road? Because it wanted to get chopped.

Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Justin who? Just in time for dinner.

You're welcome Grin

Mummyoply · 11/03/2022 17:01

Knock knock

Who's there?

Lettuce

Lettuce who?

Lettuce (let us) in, it's cold out here!

DS age 4

Ahhhhhbisto · 11/03/2022 17:02

Also dd 8....
Why didn't the teddy have any dinner.....?

Because he was stuffed!

MaryAndHerNet · 11/03/2022 17:07

@Hanitiser

Knock, Knock.... Who's there? Europe! Europe who?! No, you're a poo!!
This was one of my kids favourites too..

It made me chuckle when I heard it the first time... Not so much the 50th time..

Clawdy · 11/03/2022 17:27

Similar to the Europe one:
Knock knock!
Who's there?

Dunnop!
Dunnop who?
Eww, where??