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Original poster

I'm so lonely and sad about my birthday

75 replies

ARicher22 · 12/02/2022 19:42

It was my birthday today. I'm a single mum and only 3 people have even acknowledged my birthday.
A family member has bought me some thing on behalf of young DD, her dad hasn't rven bothered despite Me always arranging something for her for fathers day and birthdays.
A long standing friend has briefly wished me a happy birthday via Instagram.
A Co worker I'm close to brought me coffee and cake in last week as a lovely gesture.
No one else, including my own parents (although I'm not especially close to one) have even acknowledged it.
I always send a card, arranged breakfast or a meal out when it's a family members birthday, not a single fucking one has bothered to even acknowledge mine and I'm so hurt. DD loves birthdays, we make cake, cards etc and I feel so sad that she can't do the same for me.
I have few friends as it is, loads of acquaintances who I chat to when I see them but it never goes beyond that into making arrangements to see each other outside our mutual place.
I'm just so lonely today, usually I manage fine in my own company but I feel really down about it today.
I know it's pathetic, I am in my 30s so it's not like I'm expecting a big night out or anything. Just needed to vent a little I guess.

OP posts:
Eliphanbee · 12/02/2022 20:03

Happy birthday OP 🍰xxx

Poetrypatty · 12/02/2022 20:04

Happy Birthday OP Cake
Can you plan to treat yourself to a little something? Online shopping or if funds are tight maybe a nail varnish or face mask or a book. We care about you on here, hope it helps Flowers

PostingForTheFirstTime · 12/02/2022 20:06

Oh Hell, OP - I've been there. I too was a single parent (but 2 DDs).

On the birthday in question my BF (of less than a year) was visiting his parents abroad and forgot, and the friend I'd invited over for a small celebration left a voicemail message cancelling when I got in from work.

I actually called the Samaritans that night (for the first, and only, time).

I reset my expectations. Lost the friend. Forgave the BF (who turned up, mortified, when he got back with flowers and a stoatin' pressie). But mostly reset my expectations.

I also stopped the Father's Day, Christmas Present, Birthday Present thing for my ex, which really did help me deal with the new reality in which I found myself post-divorce.

But your parents, WTF (mine were both dead by the Samaritan birthday).

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Events & celebrations
Herecomethedaffodils · 12/02/2022 20:07

@MissyB1

Happy Birthday 🥳 you can celebrate with your dd. Make cake with her, decorate the house, put the music on loud and dance. Oh and play old fashioned party games with her, musical statues! Maybe next year book an afternoon tea for you and dd. It’s crap when there’s no one to spoil you on your birthday, but teach your dd to make a fuss of you. I’m sorry your parents didn’t bother, that’s sad.
Exactly this. Your birthday present to yourself can be to set a fabulous example to your young daughter. Being a wonderful role model means that in years to come, she'll want to, and know how to, spoil you. Happy Happy Birthday 🥳
MeatPieWoman · 12/02/2022 20:08

Happy birthday! I wish I could have some cake too! CakeCakeCakeCake

ificouldgobackintime · 12/02/2022 20:08

Happy Birthday OP! Birthdays are shit for making us realise we are lonely aren’t they?

Franticbutterfly · 12/02/2022 20:10

Happy birthday!!! Do something nice for yourself tonight...have a bath or order a nice take away, eat some lovely chocolates.

Ginflinger · 12/02/2022 20:10

Happy birthday OP! Just wrote you a long and eloquent message which I managed to lose before posting. Basically: 1.bloody hard being single parent, no time to nurture friendships 2. Covid has buggered so many friendships, you are not alone in feeling lonely right now 3. Look at amazing skills you are teaching DD to celebrate self and create your own joy (and cake) no matter the circumstances. Good for you xx

Sunnyday321 · 12/02/2022 20:11

Sending you the biggest Happy Birthday 🎂 🎂🎂

Ilovecharliecat · 12/02/2022 20:13

@ARicher22 happy birthday, hope you and your DD are having a lovely day. Try not to let it get you down that others have not made an effort, birthdays differ in importance to people. Have fun with your DD

forestsmurf · 12/02/2022 20:14

Happy birthday, have a lovely evening, run a bath and pamper yourself x

onwardsandupwards22 · 12/02/2022 20:14

Happy birthday!! Xx

Lindy2 · 12/02/2022 20:17

That's really poor of your parents and family. I can't imagine not at least sending a present and making a phone call for my DC when they are adults.

As for your ex - time to stop sorting a present for his birthday from your DD. It works both ways.

Mark the occasion with your DD. Do something nice together, even if it's only feeding the ducks at the park followed by an ice cream, or something similar that you'd both enjoy. Yes, because she's little, you'll have to organise it but it will be something nice for your birthday.

Motherhippo · 12/02/2022 20:20

You sound like an amazing mum! And your time will come for amazing presents from your daughter.
My mum always got shitty/unthoughtful presents from my dad for her birthdays (when they were still together)
She is quite honestly the best nun in the whole world and deserves being treated like a bloody queen. She has always put me and my brother first and has had so much hardship in her life yet is still such a nice person.
When I was working full time I spoilt her as much as I could.
When she got accepted into University to study nursing (in her 40s) I took her for a day out which included high tea at Harrods as well as tickets to a west end show to show how proud I was of her.
I can't do the same now (mortgage with 2 kids) and I'm so glad I got the chance when my income was just money to burn.
Happy birthday OP enjoy your day with your daughter baking cakes and watching movies 😊

Suzi888 · 12/02/2022 20:20

You sound like a lovely mum and a very thoughtful, giving person.
Happy birthday Flowers OP

Lindy2 · 12/02/2022 20:22

It will also show her that it's nice to do a birthday celebration for you and as she gets older she'll be able to follow the example you've set. It doesn't sound like her father is going to model that time of caring attitude for her.

SunshineCake1 · 12/02/2022 20:24

Happy birthday. It's mine today too.

One friend has forgotten which I'm sad about but we aren't in touch a lot anyway.

Someone who has known me 42 years hasn't sent a card to arrive on time. But that is okay as she's been poorly.

If you can't fairly excuse why no one has messaged them maybe rethink your friends.

Loki01 · 12/02/2022 20:24

Happy birthday!

Please don't feel sad. It happens to me also.

tinselvestsparklepants · 12/02/2022 20:28

It was my birthday this week too - February birthdays are rubbish and I spent mine at work. Wishing you a happy birthday. I hope you can do something nice for yourself - I've bought myself a new plant and a bag for work. Hardly exotic but I'm pleased. Please, if you can, get yourself some daffodils next time you are out and pretend they're from me!

BGJO · 12/02/2022 20:28

Happy Birthday ❤️

PinkSyCo · 12/02/2022 20:28

I don’t think you sound pathetic at all. I’m not really that big on (my) birthdays but I would be so upset if my own parents didn’t even acknowledge it. It seems a bit hollow to wish you a happy birthday, but try and make the best of it. Order yourself takeaway, crack open a bottle of wine, watch a funny film to cheer yourself up and make plans to take yourself and your DD somewhere nice on your next birthday with the money you’ll have saved from not treating your ex and your family on their birthdays. Flowers

Workinghardeveryday · 12/02/2022 20:34

@ARicher22 May I wish you a very very Happy Birthday 🎂🍰🍷

I am so sorry you have had a crap birthday. I totally understand why you would feel the way you do. You go to effort for other people and they didn’t do that for you. You wanted them to feel special on their birthday. It’s hurtful when it’s not reciprocated.

But I have over the years learned, most people aren’t as thoughtful. It’s not like the go out their way to not care etc. They just don’t think in the same way, the way you do.

Your parents on the other hand do not deserve your kindness.... shocking actually.

Hopefully the kids are in bed and you have a glass of wine?!!! Xx

Poetrypatty · 12/02/2022 20:34

Happy Birthday to you as well SunshineCake1 Cake

Prescottdanni123 · 12/02/2022 20:34

Happy birthday!

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 12/02/2022 20:41

How olds your dd? I'm a single parent and from as long as I can remember I've given dd some money to go into a shop and buy me something! Even if it's just a bar of chocolate.

Dds a teen now and she's brilliant at gift buying.

Also make sure you treat yourself to something, a massage, a haircut, a pamper evening, a take away or whatever you like.

Happy Birthday 🥳